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Reload this Page Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology.
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-27-2014, 08:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I sure hope you meant that as a compliment, young lady. We don't take kindly to Forum Members critiquing the artistic sensibilities of True Christian ladies!
Of course!

I see no color, I only see black and white. What do you see?
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Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-27-2014, 09:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
It's about time we take back the rainbow from the homofags. God gave us that rainbow after He killed most of the population with a flood to show that He loves us. If we let the homers take that away from us, it's like letting them take away the Lord's Eternal Love.
Definitely. Let's start a "Take Back the Rainbow" campaign. Spread it into the secular world too. These homers are just too presumptuous. We should also reclaim the word "gay" meaning happy.
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-27-2014, 10:32 PM

Two words.



Special Olympics.



Bless you, my desperate dupes,
Father Mo






Vatican emissary to these Banjo and Britney Baptwits

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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 12:18 AM

GOD'S

GOLD MEDAL AWARD

for being

GOD'S FAVORITE PASTOR!

(and the World's best Fiancé)
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 12:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Two words.



Special Olympics.



Bless you, my desperate dupes,
Father Mo



Those would be the cat-a-lick councils. Unfortunately for the choir boys your cardinals are only perverted retards, not cripples, so they still run and catch the choir boys (or even the swiss guards)

PRAY TO JESUS!
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 01:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
GOD'S

GOLD MEDAL AWARD

for being

GOD'S FAVORITE PASTOR!

(and the World's best Fiancé)
Oh, that's very lovely, Daisy Mae! I will show that to the professional graphic designers we've hired and see if they can incorporate some of your ideas into the award certificate!


By the way, I bumped into you-know-who at the Freehold Market. She didn't even make eye contact with me.



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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 01:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
By the way, I bumped into you-know-who at the Freehold Market. She didn't even make eye contact with me.

Oh Faith, I'm so sorry. Maybe a card and some bacon would help patch things up.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 01:57 AM

Paster Z might like the award better if you incoperated this into it.


Course he'd want that most arch shaved.


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 04:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
I would wager Pastor Zeke does NOT want to win this award.
I wouldn't wager on that if I were you. Gambling is a sin, you know.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 05:28 AM

Thank you Pastor Zeke, for being such a strong support towards my renewed faith in Christianity. There's something Godly in your words and sentences which I can't describe with my limited worldly knowledge. I wish you Godspeed in this noble mission to draw more lost souls away from the clutches of satan, and into the Heavenly Father's abode.
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 05:33 AM

I have spent all day mulling over this while I gave the children their lessons, cleaned the house, and made dinner. And I realised that Pastor Ezekiel deserves much more than a grotty piece of paper designed on Photoshop. I mean, how cheap is that? What I would propose is something like this:

In gold of course, white gold where appropriate. He could then place it on his mantel and it would be a constant reminder of the esteem in which we all hold him. What do you think?
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 06:44 AM

Mother of Seven, you do understand there's a prize awarded along with the certificate, right?

I don't want to say what it is, because we want Pastor to be surprised.


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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 07:22 AM

Sorry Mr Machine. No, I didn't know that. But I am so pleased that there will be a gift accompanying it. Pastor Zeke is the moral and spiritual guide of all of us (except for the Unsaved of course).
You could always send me a PM disclosing what it is
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 07:37 AM

I'll give you a hint: It's made in Stuttgart.


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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 07:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
I'll give you a hint: It's made in Stuttgart.
Wow! Make sure it's the top model.
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Default Re: Now accepting nominations for Pastor Ezekiel Flint Award for Excellence in Theology. - 01-28-2014, 11:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
We should also reclaim the word "gay" meaning happy.
Amen. Gay is OUR word:

And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool.... James 2:3

I am proud to say that Jesus made me gay!

No homo.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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