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Default Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-19-2014, 10:44 PM

It's just terrible that Christian preachers, even ones in the liberal Methodist church, marry their homer sons. It's against Methodist Church laws. The Methodist home office holds "trials" and eventually defrocks them.

I'm offering up the good offices of Freehold City Government and Landover Bapist Church to the Methodists. We can try your homer-loving preachers and teach them a thing or two.

Instead of trying and just defrocking these deviant preachers, we would read the Bible to them. We would make them get on their knees and have Jesus give them a good swift kick. By the time we were through with them, they's be truly sorry they offended Jesus.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...p_ref=religion


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-19-2014, 10:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
It's just terrible that Christian preachers, even ones in the liberal Methodist church, marry their homer sons. It's against Methodist Church laws. The Methodist home office holds "trials" and eventually defrocks them.

I'm offering up the good offices of Freehold City Government and Landover Bapist Church to the Methodists. We can try your homer-loving preachers and teach them a thing or two.

Instead of trying and just defrocking these deviant preachers, we would read the Bible to them. We would make them get on their knees and have Jesus give them a good swift kick. By the time we were through with them, they's be truly sorry they offended Jesus.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...p_ref=religion
I wonder what rod he used when his son was growing up...

PRAISE THE LORD!
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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-20-2014, 12:06 AM

George W. Bush must be spinning in his grave! He was the good kind of Methodist! It's no wonder those homosexual cowards would wait until after he died to perform this blasphemy!


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-20-2014, 03:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
George W. Bush must be spinning in his grave! He was the good kind of Methodist! It's no wonder those homosexual cowards would wait until after he died to perform this blasphemy!
Great point, Brother Godfly. Really, the Methodist Church did not amount to much until "W." became President. His Methodism put that denomination on the map and Methodists have all but worshipped him ever since.

Now, he has to be heartbroken. The denomination he built has fallen into a cravasse of sin. Please, let Landover Baptist rescue George W. Bush's church.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-20-2014, 04:19 AM

I would suggest that you could sell tickets as a fundraiser for Pastor Ezekiels extension to his home. Say $500 a ticket? But people must bring their own sack of rocks, as $500 is a little on the cheap side.
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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-20-2014, 05:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
I would suggest that you could sell tickets as a fundraiser for Pastor Ezekiels extension to his home. Say $500 a ticket? But people must bring their own sack of rocks, as $500 is a little on the cheap side.
God has blessed Iowa with a great many natural stone resources that remain largely untapped because of secular laws against stoning. I recommend dolomite as opposed to limestone.

Quote:
Geologic Sources of Historic Stone Architecture in Iowa
by Brian J. Witzke

Iowa is richly endowed with a variety of rock resources suitable for building construction, and their utility is particularly well displayed in the early architectural heritage of our state. Although building stone is still actively quarried at a few places in Iowa, notably the quarries at Stone City, quarrying of building stone was more widespread during the 1800s and early 1900s, before the advent of cement block and poured concrete construction. Wherever rock resources were conveniently located near growing communities and farms, quarry workers labored to extract blocks of rock for building purposes, especially for foundation construction.



A diversity of rock types have been used in Iowa for stone construction. Limestone and dolomite have been extensively quarried for building stone.


http://www.igsb.uiowa.edu/browse/buildngs/buildngs.htm


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-20-2014, 07:54 AM

I have received several messages telling me thar George W. Bush is not in fact dead. I urge the people telling me this to double check their facts. If GW were still alive he would be in the news every day. I haven't seen a story on him in weeks. It's not like a great leader like GW would just disappear after being the president. What's he going to do? Sit on his boat for the rest of his life? Not GW! Not when this country and the Republican Party need his leadership! He must have passed away quietly, God needed him in Heaven.


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Default Re: Methodist Preachers Who Do Homer Weddings, Hold Their Trials in Freehold's Landover Baptist Church. - 01-20-2014, 03:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly View Post
I have received several messages telling me thar George W. Bush is not in fact dead. I urge the people telling me this to double check their facts. If GW were still alive he would be in the news every day. I haven't seen a story on him in weeks. It's not like a great leader like GW would just disappear after being the president. What's he going to do? Sit on his boat for the rest of his life? Not GW! Not when this country and the Republican Party need his leadership! He must have passed away quietly, God needed him in Heaven.
If he is dead, I'm sure it's from a broken heart. I know it was his passion from the git-go to rid Afghanistan of homerism. He wanted Methodist preachers criss-crossing the country bringing homers to Jesus.

He got interested in curing homers there when he learned about the practice of Afghan men to paint their toe nails. He told Obumer that after the invasion was done, he wanted the Methodist preachers to go in and stop that toe nail painting.

Obumer has not sent in even one preacher. If W. is dead, this is what might have done him in.

http://www.scotsman.com/news/world/s...-them-1-568279


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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