I'm about to get my Bible out but I will refrain from writing about opening up it at random because that upset someone when I described it as a halving, perhaps because they were familiar with farm animals.
The Bible is an instrument. This is a fact. It is the Word of God and should be used most of the time, but more of the time if the times are becoming a problem. It seems to me that using the Bible as an instrument seems to upset a subset of the audience and I find it necessary now to inspect the very nature of our audience, who seems for the most part to attack the church and ask devious questions about the nature of Jesus, and yet I spy insiders whispering about noodles and other varieties of the the spaghetti monster bullshit.
Maybe the flying spaghetti foolishness is fueled by the flatulence of ignorant, rock-n-roll loving atheists?
Where's that silly pastafarian when you need him to explain his goofy religion?
I'm just wondering where the farm animals fit in all this.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.