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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Old 08-17-2015, 10:24 PM
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Default If you masturbate it means you're gay...

Wanna know why?

Because when you masturbate, its a MANS hand jacking you off. It doesnt matter that the hand belongs to you, its still a mans hand. Fact is you're getting off at the feeling of a mans callus covered hand touching your dink.
Its gay to masturbate.
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:23 AM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

This is what I keep telling my good-for-nothing nephew but I use more delicate terms. Maybe he needs to hear it spelled out plainly. Perhaps you can stop by one evening and yell this through the door at him next time he spends more than five minutes in the bathroom, or more than ten in the shower. I'm tired of telling him.
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Old 08-18-2015, 02:57 AM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
Wanna know why?

Because when you masturbate, its a MANS hand jacking you off. It doesnt matter that the hand belongs to you, its still a mans hand. Fact is you're getting off at the feeling of a mans callus covered hand touching your dink.
Its gay to masturbate.
I've heard that it could be done with fruits, vegetables, fluffy pillows or handheld showers. No hands.
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Old 08-18-2015, 03:19 AM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
I've heard that it could be done with fruits, vegetables, fluffy pillows or handheld showers. No hands.
i had a client used to do it to a couch and made me watch i he ask i told him it still gay
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Old 08-18-2015, 03:30 AM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...


All True Christians know that if a boy touches himself, even in the shower, he is a homersexural. So just shut up about it and accept the fact that you are going to burn in HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY! "Fantasizing" about the "body parts" of female sluts is never an excuse! Since a boy is touching a male unmentionable member, that makes him HOMERSEXURAL!
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 08-18-2015, 01:53 PM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

I have never touched myself in that way.
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Old 08-18-2015, 06:18 PM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

I never understood how a man who masturbates can be considered heterosexual. Makes no sense. You mean to tell me that there is one penis in the world you can not only touch but stroke to orgasm and still be straight—and that this is in fact a rite of passage to becoming a normal, masculine man, and the more you think about touching and stroking this penis during your daily life, the more virile, healthy, and manly you are—but doing the exact same thing to any of 3,499,999,999 other, more or less identical penises means you are gay? Sorry, I don't buy that. It flies in the face of all logic. Giving a man a handjob, even if that man is you, is a fundamentally homosexual activity that cannot be performed non-homosexually (unless of course a woman performs it, which is still a gross perversion and a waste of seed). The same goes for female masturbation, but the less said about that, the better.
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Old 08-18-2015, 07:42 PM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

I think Mrs Templeton sums up the situation better than I ever could. I do have a question, though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
The same goes for female masturbation, but the less said about that, the better.
Does this even exist, or is it just one of those ridiculous fantasies that UnSaved men like to think about? Because seriously, what exactly would a female do and (more to the point) why?
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Old 08-18-2015, 09:51 PM
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Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I think Mrs Templeton sums up the situation better than I ever could. I do have a question, though.



Does this even exist, or is it just one of those ridiculous fantasies that UnSaved men like to think about? Because seriously, what exactly would a female do and (more to the point) why?
they use tampons for that
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Old 08-19-2015, 12:28 AM
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alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.alooneymormon is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
I never understood how a man who masturbates can be considered heterosexual. Makes no sense. You mean to tell me that there is one penis in the world you can not only touch but stroke to orgasm and still be straight—and that this is in fact a rite of passage to becoming a normal, masculine man, and the more you think about touching and stroking this penis during your daily life, the more virile, healthy, and manly you are—but doing the exact same thing to any of 3,499,999,999 other, more or less identical penises means you are gay? Sorry, I don't buy that. It flies in the face of all logic. Giving a man a handjob, even if that man is you, is a fundamentally homosexual activity that cannot be performed non-homosexually (unless of course a woman performs it, which is still a gross perversion and a waste of seed). The same goes for female masturbation, but the less said about that, the better.
The man is fantsizing, normally about the opposite sex. His penis is not the object of his desire. There are stacks of research that have been conducted showing it is a completely natural and human attribute. And harmless.
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Old 08-19-2015, 02:02 AM
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Jesus Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay...

Quote:
Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
The man is fantsizing, normally about the opposite sex. His penis is not the object of his desire. There are stacks of research that have been conducted showing it is a completely natural and human attribute. And harmless.
Mr. Mormon,

Of course those who promote the homosexual agenda would conduct research based on their bias. Having "lots of" research is just a simple ad populum fallacy, appeal to numbers. You even fail to name these anonymous sources. We know, for instance, that a large majority of the world's population refuses to follow Jesus. Does this mean that Jesus was wrong? Fortunately, similar to the force of True Christians™ during the upcoming End of Days, one Word from the Bible is more powerful than the combined volumes of Nature, Science and Cell from the last century.



Here's the verse that falsifies your 'research'. I understand that you are not called Timothy but Alooneymormon. Still, this applies.

1 Timothy 6:20
O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:


Yours in Christ,

Elmer
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