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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-20-2017, 05:00 AM

My friends,

You know I have struggled for many years from my disastrous choice to be gay. I've testified (probably too much) about the sin of packing mud. I know..


But, maybe it wasn't that bad?


Quote:
We believe that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Christians are full participants in God’s kingdom, and that the ways of holiness and the ways of sinfulness are equally available to them as to others. Recognizing this, we strive to live holy lives, turning to prayer, Scripture, and the leading of the Holy Spirit to discern God’s will.
I'm not saying that I want to go back to THAT lifestyle. Jesus help me! But this makes sense.


In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-20-2017, 05:11 PM

Brother Porter, we know the pull of homerism will tempt you forever. It is wonderful you feel you can share that temptation with us.

Many of us are praying for you not be fall out of favor with Jesus just for the thrill this sin provides you.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Love Jesus Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-20-2017, 07:21 PM

Brother Porter,

When I think back to the time you helped my ex-friend, Lance, to find his masculinity and how you spent countless hours ministering to his needs, I know that Jesus has filled you with the kind of special love it takes to lead homer souls to His forgiveness. Having been on my knees with hundreds of homers, I urge you to keep fulfilling the vision that you've set in place. Do not stop laying hands on them, do not stop ministering to them in whatever ways are necessary for them to feel the saving grace in the very bowels of their being.

I would be more than happy to visit with you and allow you to pray and sort these things out with an understanding, young, well built, muscular, lithe and limber Christian brother whose intelligence is strong and whose love for all men is great. Just let me know and we'll fellowship together in spirit and truth.

I want to share your burden as a True Christian™ brother should.

BrotherLarry


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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-22-2017, 08:26 PM

Quote:
We believe that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Christians are full participants in God’s kingdom, and that the ways of holiness and the ways of sinfulness are equally available to them as to others. Recognizing this, we strive to live holy lives, turning to prayer, Scripture, and the leading of the Holy Spirit to discern God’s will
Brother Porter, that quote is simply so much garbage. No... It is worse than that, it is "of Satan". It is siren voices trying to tempt your from the straight path that Jesus has laid out for you.

How would it be at all possible to be a Christian and, at the same time harbor thoughts of homer lust and fornication?

Are we not told that the mere thought is the deed?
Matthew 5::27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Are we not told that death is the just punishment for being queer? Are we not told that those who die away from God are damned?
Romans:1
24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Romans:1 is the definitive chapter in the New Testamant. We look at verse 25:
Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator,

And this is what these Nancy Boys are doing - They change God's truth. They create their own god!

And their recompense is death in this world and the next.


So, in answer to the question "Gayness Might Be Okay?", the answer is, "No, it is not! God's Word lasts forever. He is not going to change His Perfect Mind any time soon - Why should He? He was right then and right now."




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and crime is what Black people do.

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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-22-2017, 08:37 PM

NO!

Case closed.


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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-22-2017, 11:53 PM

Brother Pat Robertson correctly believes homers should be forced to wear special colors so they can be identified and separated from the Godly straight population. He is onto something good here.

I do worry that he chose to wear a lavender tie--a color prohibited in Freehold:

Pat Robertson: “Gay People Should Wear Specially-Colored Clothes To Warn Straight People”



Televangelist Pat Robertson recently repeated his prediction that LGBT rights will provoke God to destroy America’s financial markets, warning “The 700 Club” viewers that God’s wrath is on its way. He claimed that the U.S. is turning into Sodom now that it has “enshrined sodomy into the United States Constitution” and cities like Houston are trying to “force women to go into men’s bathrooms and men to go into women’s bathrooms.”
“Now it’s a constitutional right for sodomites to marry each other,” he lamented, warning that “the wrath of God is revealed against this stuff.” He explained: “I don’t want the wrath of God to hit this country, it’s a great country, I’d like to see America continue strong, but this is one way of weakening it. First of all, we’re going to have this financial collapse. We’re setting up for a massive financial collapse and I think if God is going to hurt this country that’s probably the way he’d do it.”
At that point, a viewer called in and inquired Robertson whether his grim predictions of such a crisis can somehow be averted, to which Robertson gave a somewhat confusing answer: “I believe so, yes, but we need to stop spreading lesbianism and homosexuality in order to achieve that. And the only way to stop the spread of these diseases that are plaguing the country is to make some sort of obvious distinction between gay people and normal, straight people.”
“I personally believe that we must impose a rule on the gay population that would require them to wear specially-colored clothes, for example. I’m thinking we need to go through the Senate with this and we need to make it official. That way, regular people would know that the person wearing the said color is a deviant sodomite and that they need to stay away from them at all cost, as well as keep their children away from their reach,” Robertson opined.
The viewer then interrupted “The 700 Club” host to state that “that sounds awfully like what Nazis did to Jews in the events leading up to World War II,” referring to the fact that Jews in pre-WWII Poland and Germany were made to wear Jewish badges, or yellow badges, which were cloth patches that Jews were ordered to sew on their outer garments to mark them as Jews in public. It served as a badge of shame.




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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-23-2017, 04:17 AM

I thank you, my Brothers in Christ!

It was a lapse in judgement. I was just thinking that because Jesus never admonished gays for anal intercourse, maybe punching the brown-eye might be okay?

I stand corrected in Him. I will refuse the temptation of the anus, however attractive. You all know my struggles with gayness.

But I still want to read this book. Good reviews!

In Christ.


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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-23-2017, 05:47 AM

Dear Lord,

We pray for you to unleash your warrior angels to protect our brother's born again virgin anus.

We pray that you overwhelm his natural tendency toward swishing and fill him with a spirit of manliness.

And we pray that you give him the strength to know that being on his knees is only for prayer.

In Christ's name,

Amen


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-23-2017, 06:44 AM

I'm reticent to appear overly optimistic here, but the Landover Baptist Medical Center has been researching an anally implantable gay check valve (one-way valve). The original intent was to market it to parents of cathylick children who attend parochial schools run by the cathylick church as protection from priest buggery. After reading this thread I see an application for strong Christian men who occasionally might be tempted, and it might have prevented Ted Haggard his public embarrassments.

It's still in the research and development phase at the moment, but I foresee it being included under gay coverage in health insurance options (once Trump gets rid of ObamaCare).

Name:  Check-Valve.jpg
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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-23-2017, 01:09 PM

There is a lesson here. When homeristic temptations arise, come to us here at Landover Baptist. We are experts in sin and know how to combat it. In fact we are 24/7 warriors against sin.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-24-2017, 04:28 AM

I'm still having trouble with this. According to this website (and I do trust them because they Focus on the Family), I can feel gay and think about being gay, but I have to hold short of actual penile/rectal intercourse? Is a nightly dream of gay anal sex sinful, provided it is only a dream? Not that I often have such filthy fantasies, but it would be okay if I did? As long as I do not actually mount a stranger and discharge my seed within his bowels?

Quote:
What your question really boils down to, then, is this: "Is it possible to believe in Jesus and be a homosexual at the same time?" The answer, as we see it, is both yes and no. Here at Focus on the Family, we take the view that there's an important difference between feeling gay and acting on those feelings. As with any form of sinful behavior, the transgression comes not in being tempted, but in willfully engaging in activity that is contrary to God's law. So yes-you can be a Christian and struggle with homosexual tendencies at the same time; but no-you can't be a faithful, obedient Christian while willingly involving yourself in homosexual acts.


In Christ


Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Prayer Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-24-2017, 04:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
I'm still having trouble with this. According to this website (and I do trust them because they Focus on the Family), I can feel gay and think about being gay, but I have to hold short of actual penile/rectal intercourse? Is a nightly dream of gay anal sex sinful, provided it is only a dream? Not that I often have such filthy fantasies, but it would be okay if I did? As long as I do not actually mount a stranger and discharge my seed within his bowels?

In Christ
Please, dearest Brother! Pray!

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

A simple prayer will release you from the bonds of these colonistic thoughts!

James 5:16
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.


You've confessed. That is glorious. Now let us start praying!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-24-2017, 05:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
I'm still having trouble with this. According to this website (and I do trust them because they Focus on the Family), I can feel gay and think about being gay, but I have to hold short of actual penile/rectal intercourse? Is a nightly dream of gay anal sex sinful, provided it is only a dream? Not that I often have such filthy fantasies, but it would be okay if I did? As long as I do not actually mount a stranger and discharge my seed within his bowels?



In Christ
Dobson has turned into a flaming liberal in his old age!!

This is not my James Dobson!
My Dobson knows that it is Satan that tempts you.
My Dobson knows that if you fall short of God's glory, it's your fault.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-24-2017, 05:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Dobson has turned into a flaming liberal in his old age!!

This is not my James Dobson!
My Dobson knows that it is Satan that tempts you.
My Dobson knows that if you fall short of God's glory, it's your fault.
This really is quite concerning, Pastor. James Dobson has always been the voice of Spiritual reason, so I too am baffled why he would promote homosexual fantasies when we all know the next step is rationalizing homosexual actions after the fact, starting with self-rape.

I blame Brother Porter's father for not having raised him to be a man by playing rough-and-tumble games, playing catch, or taking enough showers in which the obvious physiology was thoroughly discussed.

James Dobson used to encourage parents to prevent queerness in a child:

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dobson
Meanwhile, the boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.
Brother Porter, it may be too late for you to shower with your father, but you can pray, and pray hard to shut out those demons from your imagination! Don't let them in! And also, it might be a good idea to wear thick, work gloves to bed to stave off any impish actions by Satan's demons when you're deep asleep.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-24-2017, 04:47 PM

There is something hidden in some men if not in all. It is very small but can grow like a tree. I talk about the desire of being used by another man.
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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-25-2017, 02:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
There is something hidden in some men if not in all. It is very small but can grow like a tree. I talk about the desire of being used by another man.
That must be, precisely, what God was referring to when He wrote Ecclesiates 9:3, ..yeah, also the heart of the sons of men is full of evil.

Brothers, praying hard is the only solution.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-25-2017, 11:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Brother Pat Robertson correctly believes homers should be forced to wear special colors so they can be identified and separated from the Godly straight population. He is onto something good here.
I think this is something that Landover could take up, but before we make this step, we would need a grace period to divest ourselves of any embarrassing garments, plus definitive guidance on the amount of a prohibited color that qualifies, e.g. a small thread of violet in tweed jacket.

Perhaps a patch of a particular color might work?




Revel in the Diversity of Life that God has given us.
Racism is a Crime
and crime is what Black people do.

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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 05-26-2017, 04:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
I think this is something that Landover could take up, but before we make this step, we would need a grace period to divest ourselves of any embarrassing garments, plus definitive guidance on the amount of a prohibited color that qualifies, e.g. a small thread of violet in tweed jacket.

Perhaps a patch of a particular color might work?
We need to avoid any color like violet that a True Christian™ man might want to use in, say, a cravat. It might be a good idea to make it a single, solid and unusually repulsive color that nobody else would ever want to wear. There's a particularly hideous shade of yellow that springs to mind:




See how the black detail and the poor fit make it ever-so-subtly worse? Or perhaps a color like this, which fails to flatter any known complexion?




I'm sure the Ladies of Landover would be happy to help choose. Indeed, I can think of one or two who have the perfect garments in their very own wardrobes.


Ecclesiastes 12:13

Let vs heare the conclusion of the whole matter: Feare God, and keepe his commandements, for this is the whole duetie of man.
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Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 06-01-2017, 02:56 PM

Ahem.

*cough*

Excuse me for a second...

*cough cough*

GET THEE BEHIND ME SATAN!!!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Roland Roland is offline
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Gayness Might Be Okay? - 06-01-2017, 04:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
[...]




[...]
Allow me to give at least some credit for the Italian style slim waist. The black and yellow though, aren´t those the colours of Anarcho-Capitalists? To me she seems to be more of a corporatist. As far as I know she didn´t adhere to the non aggression principle.

Kind regards,

Roland


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
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