Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page A friend of mine is in dire need
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort 

 
Posts: 1,293
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: On Sojourn in mourning
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default A friend of mine is in dire need - 02-28-2017, 07:07 AM

A young(ish) friend of mine - let's call him Dom - is in a bit of a dilemma. Dom, being a rather devout Christian gent, may have made certain overtures which are causing him to be stalked by one of his hunting buddies. The problem is that Dom does not mind receiving mix tapes 5 and sometimes 10 times a day, what he does mind is that it is remixes of the same song playing in a continuous loop (some song by a group called Erasure). Dom also does not mind 500 plus txt messages and over 100 phone calls. What he does mind is that every time he answers a call he is greeted with silence. Or in the case of texts it's "when are we going "hunting" again."
Dom is worried that his wife will get the "wrong" idea about all this totally unwarranted attention.
Dom is now becoming increasingly worried that his family is in danger. Just the other day his eldest Abel, a strong lithesome 13 year old, complained that a strange man had followed him home.


Please help me to help my friend Dom as I fear he is in danger.


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is online now
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts 

 
Posts: 7,085
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Prayer Re: A friend of mine is in dire need - 02-28-2017, 07:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
A young(ish) friend of mine - let's call him Dom - is in a bit of a dilemma. Dom, being a rather devout Christian gent, may have made certain overtures which are causing him to be stalked by one of his hunting buddies. The problem is that Dom does not mind receiving mix tapes 5 and sometimes 10 times a day, what he does mind is that it is remixes of the same song playing in a continuous loop (some song by a group called Erasure). Dom also does not mind 500 plus txt messages and over 100 phone calls. What he does mind is that every time he answers a call he is greeted with silence. Or in the case of texts it's "when are we going "hunting" again."
Dom is worried that his wife will get the "wrong" idea about all this totally unwarranted attention.
Dom is now becoming increasingly worried that his family is in danger. Just the other day his eldest Abel, a strong lithesome 13 year old, complained that a strange man had followed him home.

Please help me to help my friend Dom as I fear he is in danger.

YIC
TT
Dear Friend,

The situation is dire, but I am also a bit worried about your strategy. I presume that you've given him the 1 Thessalonians 5:17 treatment? If that is the case, things should have been different by now!

Matthew 21:22
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
  • "Believing!" Did you have some doubts? That could explain the less successful outcome.
Mark 9:29
And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.
  • "And fasting!" Have you forgotten to decline all nutritional items, but take you sackcloth and ashes (Matthew 11:21) out of the closet?
Matthew 6:6
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

  • Did you pray too loudly in the open? No wonder God has not yet rewarded you in public!
Luke 6:28
Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.
  • Has your friend cursed you or used you in a despiteful manner? If not, let us pray that he will, as that would make your prayers probably more effective!
Luke 18:1
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;
  • I admit that this one might be difficult with the fasting, sackcloth and ashes (Jonah 3:6), but if you really love your friend, you should do your utmost not to faint!
Philippians 4:6
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
  • Have you forgotten to thank Jesus for not having redeemed your friend yet? That is as important as the act of prayer itself!
Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

  • Last but not least, have an honest discussion with a mustard seed and assess its Faith! Then by comparing your Faith™ to that of the seed, you can determine if you need to utilize the sackcloth some more before making requests to Jesus!
I am sure that you'll find this procedure helpful!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
How to teach children FACTS not FICTION! Show them how God CREATES new animals! Make them FEAR God!
Never EVER
allow life support or CPR !
Help me SAVE THE WORLD and find NEW SOLDIERS for Jesus!
Follow my adventures in Godless France: Day 1 (cavities), Day 2 (cat licks), Day 3 (Turd of France), Day 4 (Answered prayers).
Dolphins are 'cute' but they are also HOMOSEXUALS CORRUPTED by SATAN!
The TRUTH about 'homeopathy'.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort 

 
Posts: 1,293
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: On Sojourn in mourning
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: A friend of mine is in dire need - 02-28-2017, 08:36 AM

Dear Brother Elmer,
Thank you for the wonderful guidance. I will employ this with my good friend Dom post haste.
I will update you on the outcome.


YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel 

 
Posts: 902
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Godless New York City
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: A friend of mine is in dire need - 02-28-2017, 02:28 PM

Wow, it sounds like Dom might have instigated this situation a bit. I wonder if he ever sent this person flowers, liked all his posts on Facebook, changed his Facebook status to "In a Relationship," rented a billboard that said "DOM LOVES YOU," placed outside his "stalker's" home, or anything like that?


I am joining in prayer with Brother White that your friend finds closure to this situation very soon. I would hate for tragedy to be the only solution, as it has been in the past for people like this.


Remember Sister Elizabeth Johnson's husband. Shame.


Well - you hang in there, Tommy-tom-tom. Jesus loves you and I am sure your friend will come to his senses.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

ATTENTION CHRISTIAN LADIES:
I am a young, handsome, well-built True Christian™ male, with intelligence, ambition, and the blood of Jesus coursing through my virile body.
Does this create wholesome desires within you for courting?
Contact me by private message!

Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
TotallyNormalHuman TotallyNormalHuman is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 1
Join Date: Mar 2017
TotallyNormalHuman is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: A friend of mine is in dire need - 03-08-2017, 12:05 AM

I'm sorry if this isn't where I should post, but I tried to post in another thread and was told I was not able to. May God forgive me if I have done wrong by him.

I would also like some help. I have anxiety and depression, and though i have attempted to turn to God for help in ridding my demons, they have only gotten worse, which has led me to believe I may have involuntarily summoned Satan (or at least more demons). What must I do to correct this?
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Brother Gonzalez's Avatar
Brother Gonzalez Brother Gonzalez is offline
Another brick in Donald´s wall
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture Trump of GOD Hands Off Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Mission to Messico Flat Earth True Christian™ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Donald Trump 2016! Babysitter Outreach preacher Touched by Jesus Ex-Mary Worshipper 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Hatchet Child Rearing Award Alternative Facts Kirk Cameron Fan Club Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A 

 
Posts: 651
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Gonzalez will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: A friend of mine is in dire need - 03-08-2017, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TotallyNormalHuman View Post
I'm sorry if this isn't where I should post, but I tried to post in another thread and was told I was not able to. May God forgive me if I have done wrong by him.

I would also like some help. I have anxiety and depression, and though i have attempted to turn to God for help in ridding my demons, they have only gotten worse, which has led me to believe I may have involuntarily summoned Satan (or at least more demons). What must I do to correct this?
First you have to go to the introduction forum and introduce yourself. That is the polite thing to do before asking for help.


Second, read the Bible, follow it 100% and you will be fine.


There are not shortcuts to it.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2016 all rights reserved