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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Old 09-05-2007, 01:31 AM
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Default How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

One of our members (who wishes to remain anonymous) asked me how to spank her (suspected) gay toddler. I guess she might be worried that the child might actually enjoy spanking (you know how kinky homers are). Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
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Old 09-05-2007, 01:44 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Is this woman a Wicced or a Demoncrat? I can't think of any other reason the child would choose the sodomite deathstyle.
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Old 09-05-2007, 02:20 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Is this woman a Wicced or a Demoncrat? I can't think of any other reason the child would choose the sodomite deathstyle.
I wouldn't suppose the child has actually chosen, but he does seem to have an interest in Eurohomer Football (soccer) and he seems to ignore American Football (the real thing).
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Old 09-05-2007, 02:21 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
One of our members (who wishes to remain anonymous) asked me how to spank her (suspected) gay toddler. I guess she might be worried that the child might actually enjoy spanking (you know how kinky homers are). Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.
I can't urge you enough to be very very careful here. Doing the wrong thing here could give that child psychological problems for life.
I suggest you let the child show its parents which way it wants to go.
Place the child on the floor, out of reach of distractions and lay 2 articles in front of it, these being 1. a blue plastic toy such as a hammer, or 2. a pink plastic pony or girls toy of some sort .
If the boy child wants to play with the pink toy , it's gay, and spanking should be applied immediately and forcefully until it recognises that pink = pain. Repeat this instruction as often as necessary until the very sight of the colour pink is enough to induce hysteria in the child.
If the child should be a girl, and it reaches for the blue plastic toy, spanking again needs to be applied vigorously until the same result is achieved as for the man child .
Each time the child attempts to pick up the correct sex oriented plaything, of course positive reinforcement should be applied, such as pats or food - just like training a dog or other circus animal.
Teaching the child to remember and repeat bible passages is also ideal at this age.
My parents assure me that this was exactly how i was reared and I have no qualms whatsoever about thrashing errant children, whosever they may be in order to keep them on Gods chosen path.
I hope this helps.
Brother Guy.
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The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine."
Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL

Last edited by Brother Guy Bayard; 09-05-2007 at 02:30 AM.
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Old 09-05-2007, 02:24 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Speaking as a pastor with rich experience in both rebuking homersexurals and spanking women and children, I have a few words of advice to offer on this subject.

I believe that the two problems with this wicked child must be treated separately. Both Brother BJ and Brother Deaner will back me up on this; no amount of beating will drive the sodomy out of a queer. They will continue to enjoy their unnatural depraved lifestyle right up until they pass out in a pool of their own blood and vomit. They just seem to thrive on it. That little sissy Matthew (princess) Shepard never did learn his lesson, despite being given the opportunity to spend an evening in the desert praying to Jesus to cleanse him with blood.

I would sit the little sissy down and have him watch a few dozen hours of John Wayne movies first of all. THEN lay on a beating. Then a few dozen more hours of John Wayne. That will get her off to a good start, Praise Jesus.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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  #6  
Old 09-05-2007, 03:58 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

During the beatings, I suggest calling them names, such as 'sissy-boy fag,'
'girlie-man,' or 'Barney Frank.' That last one should scare them good. Also, the louder they scream in pain, the better job you're doing for The Lord.

If all the above fail, sell them for scientific research.
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Old 09-05-2007, 04:37 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

The methods you're using (spanking which if you're doing it now will get you eternal hellfire torment) are the same methods Adolf Hitler's parents used on him. You don't want your kid to end up like him.
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Old 09-05-2007, 05:40 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Children can't be gay! They're not sexually attracted to anyone, you can't tell yet, there's just no way.
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Old 09-05-2007, 05:51 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
The methods you're using (spanking which if you're doing it now will get you eternal hellfire torment) are the same methods Adolf Hitler's parents used on him. You don't want your kid to end up like him.
This from a man who kisses the popes ring. Its all a matter of perspective isnt it, padre?
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Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Old 09-05-2007, 07:37 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Do not spank a gay toddler! He could end up a gay French writer!
http://philosophy.eserver.org/rousseau-confessions.txt
Quote:
As Miss Lambercier felt a mother's affection, she sometimes
exerted a mother's authority, even to inflicting on us, when we
deserved it, the punishment of infants. She had often threatened it,
and this threat of a treatment entirely new, appeared to me
extremely dreadful; but I found the reality much less terrible than
the idea, and what is still more unaccountable, this punishment
increased my affection for the person who had inflicted it. All this
affection, aided by my natural mildness, was scarcely sufficient to
prevent my seeking, by fresh offenses, a return of the same
chastisement; for a degree of sensuality had mingled with the smart
and shame, which left more desire than fear of a repetition. I was
well convinced the same discipline from her brother would have
produced a quite contradictory effect; but from a man of his
disposition this was not probable, and if I abstained from meriting
correction, it was merely from a fear of offending Miss Lambercier,
for benevolence, aided by the passions, has ever maintained an
empire over me which has given law to my heart.
This event, which, though desirable, I had not endeavored to
accelerate, arrived without my fault; I should say, without my
seeking; and I profited by it with a safe conscience; but this second,
was also the last time, for Miss Lambercier, who doubtless had some
reason to imagine this chastisement did not produce the desired
effect, declared it was too fatiguing, and that she renounced it for
the future. Till now we had slept in her chamber, and during the
winter, even in her bed; but two days after another room was
prepared for us.
Who would believe this childish discipline, received at eight
years old, from the hand of a woman of thirty, should influence my
propensities, my desires, my passions, for the rest of my life, and
that in quite a contrary sense from what might naturally have been
expected? The very incident that inflamed my senses, gave my desires
such an extraordinary turn, that, confined to what I had already
experienced, I sought no further, and, with blood boiling with
sensuality almost from my birth, preserved my purity beyond the age
when the coldest constitutions lose their sensibility; long tormented,
without knowing by what, I gazed on every handsome woman with delight;
imagination incessantly brought their charms to my remembrance, only
to transform them into so many Miss Lamberciers. Even after having
attained the marriageable age this odd taste still continued and drove
me nearly to depravity and madness.
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5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Old 09-05-2007, 01:22 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Children can't be gay! They're not sexually attracted to anyone, you can't tell yet, there's just no way.
Our Creation Scientists have done years of research on this question. Take a look at THIS. Shocking, isn't it!? But there it is.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old 09-05-2007, 01:30 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
The methods you're using (spanking which if you're doing it now will get you eternal hellfire torment) are the same methods Adolf Hitler's parents used on him. You don't want your kid to end up like him.
I didn't realise you were such a Hitler expert. What about Pius XII? What method did his parents use to create such a monster?
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  #13  
Old 09-05-2007, 06:01 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

"Father" Thomas should know about Hitler -- the spawn of Satan who calls himself "Pope" was once his priest and probably was far more 'intimate' with Hitler than you can even imagine.
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  #14  
Old 09-05-2007, 06:17 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x View Post
Children can't be gay!
Said the 15 year old gay....
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  #15  
Old 09-05-2007, 06:31 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

The child should be put to death. Preferably by Stoning.
We all know how unhappy Gay people are so put them out of their misery early.
I mean how could anyone actually be a GAY GAY?
It's the only compassionate way that I see you can handle it.
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  #16  
Old 09-05-2007, 06:35 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

I'd imagine you would beat them pretty much the same way you would beat any other baby. The only thing I'd keep an eye out for is if they tried to suck your fingers into their rearends.
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  #17  
Old 09-05-2007, 08:03 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

This boys parent's should have beat the demons out of his colon. Maybe if they loved him enough to do that he wouldn't be a flaming homo at the tender age of 4!

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  #18  
Old 09-05-2007, 10:52 PM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
"Father" Thomas should know about Hitler -- the spawn of Satan who calls himself "Pope" was once his priest and probably was far more 'intimate' with Hitler than you can even imagine.
Josef Cardinal Ratzinger got in the Hitler Youth AGAINST HIS WILL. It was either that or be sent to a concentration camp, and his parents made the decision for him.

Believe me, he was as grieved about the Nazis as we all are. Well, possibly except for you heretic dogs!
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But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Old 09-06-2007, 01:25 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Why is it no surprise that a thread about spanking children brought you out of hiding, Thomas? Well, sorry to disappoint you but there will be no pictures of this act taking place! You'll have to get your jollies elsewhere.
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Old 09-06-2007, 01:39 AM
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Default Re: How to Spank a Gay Toddler?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
Josef Cardinal Ratzinger got in the Hitler Youth AGAINST HIS WILL. It was either that or be sent to a concentration camp, and his parents made the decision for him.
I suppose that Pope Pius XII pursued the Reichskonkordat in 1933 against his will as well? I suppose Stepinac acted as a servant of the Ustashe against his will, too?
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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