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  • Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

    This brief article will be trying to discover the reason why Wiccans are so incredibly unattractive.

    The question.

    Are they fat and ugly, so they decide to become witches to get the attention they seek?

    Maybe it is that reading Gerald Gardner makes these women crave Twinkies and Bon Bons?

    Or could it be something more sinister is at hand?

    At first glance it would seem to be patently obvious that these women are attention starved, so they turn to a fake religion made up in the 1950's by Gerald Gardner, in which they are the dominant prophets and teachers. It seems such a simple explanation. It's wish fulfillment. They get to pretend like they have magical powers and that they are beautiful creatures of a goddess, when in fact nothing further could be from the truth. They are summoning Satan's demons. I don't care if you Wickers don't believe in Satan, because he believes in you!

    Maybe they all started out as beautiful women and reading Gardner makes them more ravenous than a dozen teenage boys high on the marihuana? At first glance this statement makes no sense. How could reading some fake magic book deform these women so horribly?

    Through countless hours of labor at the Landover Scientifical Studies, we have come up with an answer that might just shock you. The results are astounding!

    The Findings of the research.

    Back in 2006 Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. ran into this pair of young aspiring Wiccans.



    Even then, you could see the wrinkles and fat folds beginning to rapidly take hold of these decent looking (for whore tramps) women.

    Using advanced facial recognition technology, we have found them today.

    The one on the left. A mere few years later, the results have been horrible to behold.




    For the one on the right, time has even been nearly as unkind.



    Do you think this is just a coincidence? Let us assure you it is not!

    This picture was taken of a Wiccan girl who called herself Forest Godess in 2001.



    Notice she is already growing the fat arms and ample gut she is trying to hide with her clothes and pose.

    But look at her in 2013 in a psychology magazine!



    The same principle works with men. See this fellow back in 2008.



    He had obviously already been practicing Wicca for five years.

    Look at his poor demon ravaged body today.




    Findings:

    Our scienticians have come to the amazing conclusion that in fact Wicca makes these people fat and unattractive. We have found that it's the hole that Jesus leaves in the soul that the practitioner of evil arts is trying to fill with peanut butter, ice cream and Christian babies.

    The constant summoning of demons and handling evil familiars ages these women quickly as well. The image of the witch as an evil old looking crone is based on reality.
    Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


    Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

  • #2
    Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

    Originally posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
    This brief article will be trying to discover the reason why Wiccans are so incredibly unattractive.

    The question.

    Are they fat and ugly, so they decide to become witches to get the attention they seek?

    Maybe it is that reading Gerald Gardner makes these women crave Twinkies and Bon Bons?

    Or could it be something more sinister is at hand?

    At first glance it would seem to be patently obvious that these women are attention starved, so they turn to a fake religion made up in the 1950's by Gerald Gardner, in which they are the dominant prophets and teachers. It seems such a simple explanation. It's wish fulfillment. They get to pretend like they have magical powers and that they are beautiful creatures of a goddess, when in fact nothing further could be from the truth. They are summoning Satan's demons. I don't care if you Wickers don't believe in Satan, because he believes in you!

    Maybe they all started out as beautiful women and reading Gardner makes them more ravenous than a dozen teenage boys high on the marihuana? At first glance this statement makes no sense. How could reading some fake magic book deform these women so horribly?

    Through countless hours of labor at the Landover Scientifical Studies, we have come up with an answer that might just shock you. The results are astounding!

    The Findings of the research.

    Back in 2003 Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. ran into this pair of young aspiring Wiccans.



    Even then, you could see the wrinkles and fat folds beginning to rapidly take hold of these decent looking (for whore tramps) women.

    Using advanced facial recognition technology, we have found them today.

    The one on the left. A mere few years later, the results have been horrible to behold.




    For the one on the right, time has even been nearly as unkind.



    Do you think this is just a coincidence? Let us assure you it is not!

    This picture was taken of a Wiccan girl who called herself Forest Godess in 1997.



    Notice she is already growing the fat arms and ample gut she is trying to hide with her clothes and pose.

    But look at her in 2011 in a psychology magazine!



    The same principle works with men. See this fellow back in 2004.



    He had obviously already been practicing Wicca for five years.

    Look at his poor demon ravaged body today.




    Findings:

    Our scienticians have come to the amazing conclusion that in fact Wicca makes these people fat and unattractive. We have found that it's the hole that Jesus leaves in the soul that the practitioner of evil arts is trying to fill with peanut butter and ice cream.

    The constant summoning of demons and handling evil familiars ages these women quickly as well. The image of the witch as an evil old looking crone is based on reality.
    Wow. These are clearly NOT the same people.

    Where is the study report? Where are the reports of samples, procedures, and empirical data to back up this claim that Wicca makes people unattractive?

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

      Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
      Wow. These are clearly NOT the same people.

      Where is the study report? Where are the reports of samples, procedures, and empirical data to back up this claim that Wicca makes people unattractive?
      The empirical data is quite clear friend - just look at ANY wicker witch. The fact is Wicker witches get bloated from years of baby eating and dancing with goats.

      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

      Hot Must ReadThreads!


      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

        Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
        Wow. These are clearly NOT the same people.

        Where is the study report? Where are the reports of samples, procedures, and empirical data to back up this claim that Wicca makes people unattractive?
        Most definitely not. The demon-ravaging has left them bloated parodies of their former selves. Trust a hateful atheist to be flippant about such misery!
        sigpic
        Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

        John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

        Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
        The truth about volcanos
        Sex and debauchery in public schools
        Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
        God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
        Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

          This may be a shocking revaluation for you.

          Describing someone filling a gas tank is normal and mundane to us, but try to understand what it's like if you never had the gift of sight.

          You're able to see the Wiccans in their bulbous grotesque visages because you've always been blessed with the light of God and can see through their magics. To any other heathen, they look sprite, lean, and supple. Once the Wiccan falls into the "Easy Way" and just makes themselves look good through magics, they tend to gorge on whatever they like and en masse. Giving into Gluttony, Sloth, and Pride whenever they can.

          So be wary, it's a fact that a woman's intelligence is inversely proportionate to her beauty... If you ever meet a woman who's both beautiful and intelligent... Chances are she's a powerful witch, or the Devil.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

            Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
            The empirical data is quite clear friend - just look at ANY wicker witch. The fact is Wicker witches get bloated from years of baby eating and dancing with goats.
            I sincerely doubt anyone who is not living in a third world village in South America and South Africa is eating babies. Some tribes in these villages are the only ones around the world who still practice cannibalism.

            And what proof do you have of this anyway? You cannot even prove this is in fact what Wiccans do.

            Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
            Most definitely not. The demon-ravaging has left them bloated parodies of their former selves. Trust a hateful atheist to be flippant about such misery!
            If you go to my profile you can see I am not an atheist but I guess being agnostic would still put me in that category in your eyes. Those pictures are clearly not the same women in their "before and after" pictures. It is so obvious whoever posted this just took pictures of attractive skinny women and replaced them with random photos of obese women.

            Originally posted by Rev.Dr. Six Fingers View Post
            So be wary, it's a fact that a woman's intelligence is inversely proportionate to her beauty... If you ever meet a woman who's both beautiful and intelligent... Chances are she's a powerful witch, or the Devil.
            I personaly consider myself a beautiful person inside and out and I think I am reasonably intelligent...does that automatically make me a witch or the devil? Even though I do not believe in either? I think not.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

              Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
              I personaly consider myself a beautiful person inside and out and I think I am reasonably intelligent...does that automatically make me a witch or the devil? Even though I do not believe in either? I think not.
              Rev. Dr Fingers is not interested what it's like inside you. Your status regarding bondage to satan is determined by your own words:

              If you go to my profile you can see I am not an atheist but I guess being agnostic would still put me in that category in your eyes.
              For anyone interested, her profile is HERE
              Agnostic and loving it

              You are an unregenerate heathen because you deny The Truth of God's Word —> He says one thing: you think something else.

              He tells you how to worship Him: you disagree.

              II CHRONICLES 15
              12
              And they entred into a couenant to seeke the Lord God of their fathers, with all their heart and with all their soule:
              13 That whosoeuer would not seeke the Lord God of Israel, should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.
              14 And they sware vnto the Lord with a loud voice, and with shouting, and with trumpets, and with cornets.
              15 And all Iudah reioyced at the oath: for they had sworne with all their heart, & sought him with their whole desire, and he was found of them: and the Lord gaue them rest round about.

              ©1611

              No doubt you disagree with that sentiment (because it's so "beautiful inside" you). God responded to others like you in this way:

              ZEPHANIAH 2
              10
              This shall they haue for their pride, because they haue reproched and magnified themselues against the people of the Lord of hostes.
              11 The Lord will be terrible vnto them: for he will famish all the gods of the earth, and men shall worship him, euery one from his place, euen all the Iles of the heathen.

              ©1611

              Praise Him!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                Rev. Dr Fingers is not interested what it's like inside you. Your status regarding bondage to satan is determined by your own words:
                For anyone interested, her profile is HERE
                You are an unregenerate heathen because you deny The Truth of God's Word —> He says one thing: you think something else.

                He tells you how to worship Him: you disagree.

                II CHRONICLES 15
                12 And they entred into a couenant to seeke the Lord God of their fathers, with all their heart and with all their soule:
                13 That whosoeuer would not seeke the Lord God of Israel, should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.
                14 And they sware vnto the Lord with a loud voice, and with shouting, and with trumpets, and with cornets.
                15 And all Iudah reioyced at the oath: for they had sworne with all their heart, & sought him with their whole desire, and he was found of them: and the Lord gaue them rest round about.

                ©1611

                No doubt you disagree with that sentiment (because it's so "beautiful inside" you). God responded to others like you in this way:

                ZEPHANIAH 2
                10 This shall they haue for their pride, because they haue reproched and magnified themselues against the people of the Lord of hostes.
                11 The Lord will be terrible vnto them: for he will famish all the gods of the earth, and men shall worship him, euery one from his place, euen all the Iles of the heathen.

                ©1611

                Praise Him!
                Obviously you're the one with the perverted mind when you think that "beautiful on the inside" would mean someting so vulgar. The expression means beautiful in the way that you are kind, generous, and a good person at heart.

                Also, how is being an agnostic make me "bondaged to satan?" I do not believe such a being exists so why would I be bonded to him?

                If being a heathen to you means I am able to think for myself, then yes, I am one then.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                  Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post

                  I personaly consider myself a beautiful person inside and out
                  Prove it. Either post a picture date stamped that says, "Hi Pastor Will" or send it to me confidentially at my email address in my signature. 100% confidentiality assured.

                  Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
                  and I think I am reasonably intelligent...does that automatically make me a witch or the devil?
                  I'm afraid so, but you are posting here. That will get you on the right track faster than anything. I'll be praying for you.

                  John 8:43-47 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.
                  Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
                  And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
                  Which of you convinceth me of sin? And if I say the truth, why do ye not believe me?
                  He that is of God heareth God's words: ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.
                  Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


                  Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                    Originally posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
                    Prove it. Either post a picture date stamped that says, "Hi Pastor Will" or send it to me confidentially at my email address in my signature. 100% confidentiality assured.



                    I'm afraid so, but you are posting here. That will get you on the right track faster than anything. I'll be praying for you.

                    John 8:43-47 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.
                    Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
                    And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.
                    Which of you convinceth me of sin? And if I say the truth, why do ye not believe me?
                    He that is of God heareth God's words: ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.
                    Click image for larger version

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                    I do not think I am a witch or the devil. Just agnostic.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                      Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
                      [ATTACH]17333[/ATTACH]

                      I do not think I am a witch or the devil. Just agnostic.
                      Definitely a Witch.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                        Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
                        [ATTACH]17333[/ATTACH]

                        I do not think I am a witch or the devil. Just agnostic.
                        Nice, but we're not there yet.

                        No date stamped sign saying "Hi Pastor Will."
                        Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.


                        Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                          Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
                          "beautiful on the inside" would mean someting so vulgar.
                          So vulgar as what? They're not my words.

                          The Bible tells us that failing to support Jesus is the same as being aligned with His adversary.

                          Christians do support Jesus. We are alive because He is alive.

                          John 1:4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.
                          ©1611

                          He is more alive than we are; God explains it like this:

                          John 1:5 And the light shineth in darknesse, and the darknesse comprehended it not.

                          I don't know whose words dissuaded you, but obviously you're not following Him - agnostics do not accept God's commandments - and how could you? Evidently you have heard about them but in darkness you have no light to see. That is why you disobey:

                          EPHESIANS 5
                          6
                          Let no man deceiue you with vaine words: for because of these things commeth the wrath of God vpon the children of disobedience.
                          7 Bee not yee therefore partakers with them.
                          8 For yee were sometimes darkenesse, but now are yee light in the Lord: walke as children of light,

                          ©1611

                          God has warned us.

                          God has identified our adversary:

                          I Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant: because your aduersary the deuill, as a roaring Lion walketh about, seeking whom he may deuoure
                          ©1611

                          Even with Him in us, our perceptions are meagre and dim - but at least we can see something: it will not ever be so..

                          I Corinthians 13:12 For now we see through a glasse, darkely: but then face to face: now I know in part, but then shall I know euen as also I am knowen.
                          ©1611

                          ..and we look forward to that outcome. There won't be any agnostics there.

                          That is how we know that you are in the service of satan.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                            Originally posted by peaceandlove420 View Post
                            [ATTACH]17333[/ATTACH]

                            I do not think I am a witch or the devil. Just agnostic.
                            I don't know if it's just me, but I think you are going cross-eyed or at least developing a squint.

                            I'm sure you wouldn't have had that if you were Christian.

                            And I see that you are wearing stripes... women wear those to appear slimmer...
                            sigpic


                            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                            Author of such illuminating essays as,
                            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? A study.

                              Aargh is this poisonous wilful harpy now trying to seduce one of us into fornication?
                              sigpic
                              Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                              John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                              Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                              The truth about volcanos
                              Sex and debauchery in public schools
                              Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                              God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                              Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                              Comment

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