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Satan's Entertainment Discussion for Movies/TV/Music/Video Games/Pop Culture. How HELLY-wood is destroying our society and parents can learn to protect their children from sinful influences like Disney, Pacman, and Tic-Tac-Toe.

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Old 06-27-2015, 02:38 PM
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Guns Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor? Answer: JESUS!!!

I don't understand how Christians can say Jesus or god was powerful and made miracles, but what are his feats of battle? Making sand storms? You people DO know that Norse Armies had flying horses and Thor could wield the thunder itself as his weapon along with his mighty hammer. Jesus was killed by mortal men. Also, Thor has muscle, Jesus was a scrawny guy, how could he be strong? I mean let's look at a comparison here:

VS


He looks like a cupcake! Why would anyone side with HIS army, the fella was nailed to a piece of wood I mean I will give you Christians this: you're women are quite conservative and cute, but no adultery? Bah! No fun there eh? Sorry but when Odin unleashes his wrath you guys are screwed! I'd think about switching sides to a real army! Bu seriously, I offer a debate. Who has their coin on Jesus? Any takers? Surely you Christian folk love a good bloodbath once in a while? Why not a good fight between these two?
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Old 06-27-2015, 02:52 PM
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Bible Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThorkellOfNordic View Post
I don't understand how Christians can say Jesus or god was powerful and made miracles, but what are his feats of battle? Making sand storms? You people DO know that Norse Armies had flying horses and Thor could wield the thunder itself as his weapon along with his mighty hammer. Jesus was killed by mortal men. Also, Thor has muscle, Jesus was a scrawny guy, how could he be strong? I mean let's look at a comparison here:

He looks like a cupcake! Why would anyone side with HIS army, the fella was nailed to a piece of wood I mean I will give you Christians this: you're women are quite conservative and cute, but no adultery? Bah! No fun there eh? Sorry but when Odin unleashes his wrath you guys are screwed! I'd think about switching sides to a real army! Bu seriously, I offer a debate. Who has their coin on Jesus? Any takers? Surely you Christian folk love a good bloodbath once in a while? Why not a good fight between these two?
Dear Sinner,

You try to mock Jesus but this has been foreseen. The mighty battles of Jesus when it comes to warfare are in the future. This future is not distant at all and you are going to see very very soon how mistaken you are!

Revelation 17:14
These shall make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb shall overcome them: for he is Lord of lords, and King of kings: and they that are with him are called, and chosen, and faithful.

In contrast, in the poetic Edda that is the source of the data regarding the demon Thor (the poem you're looking for is the Ţrymskviđa), there is a poem, where your 'mighty' Thor dresses as a woman bride and 'his' friend Loki as the bridesmaid*. Thus, Thor is nothing but a sorry sodomite transvestite who will receive his rightful punishment (Deuteronomy 22:5) at the End of Days!


Your Thor is such a pretty girl!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer

*The actual text is as follows (I am sure you know it by heart but this is for out Christian Brethren to see also): "Bundu ţeir Ţór ţá brúđar líni ok inu mikla meni Brísinga, létu und hánum hrynja lukla ok kvenváđir um kné falla, en á brjósti breiđa steina, ok hagligaum höfuđ typpđu.
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Old 06-27-2015, 03:13 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
In contrast, in the poetic Edda that is the source of the data regarding the demon Thor (the poem you're looking for is the Ţrymskviđa), there is a poem, where your 'mighty' Thor dresses as a woman bride and 'his' friend Loki as the bridesmaid*. Thus, Thor is nothing but a sorry sodomite transvestite who will receive his rightful punishment (Deuteronomy 22:5) at the End of Days!
So if Thor had not been imaginary then he (or she, if he decided he wanted to be called she) would have been the Laverne Cox of his time, except he would have been a natural blond?
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Old 06-27-2015, 03:26 PM
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GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Bahahaha! Are you daft?! Thor gets more dames than Jesus ever did besides didn't Jesus die a virgin? Yahahaha what a joke! Besides your False God sacrificed his own son! What a great father. Dying for people's sins? So Jesus has weak people in his army who need a martyr? The Nordic Army were powerful and had men a strong are bears! You worship a false god and even weaker man! Thor would destroy Jesus and Odin would tear his father from his throne! Gyahahaha! When the rapture comes the Norse will surely be fine, not your weak army!
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Old 06-27-2015, 03:46 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThorkellOfNordic View Post
Bahahaha! Are you daft?! Thor gets more dames than Jesus ever did besides didn't Jesus die a virgin? Yahahaha what a joke! Besides your False God sacrificed his own son! What a great father. Dying for people's sins? So Jesus has weak people in his army who need a martyr? The Nordic Army were powerful and had men a strong are bears! You worship a false god and even weaker man! Thor would destroy Jesus and Odin would tear his father from his throne! Gyahahaha! When the rapture comes the Norse will surely be fine, not your weak army!
What is death to God? When Jesus was done with being dead He simply resurrected Himself, I have yet to see thor doing that. And God's army, the US military, is the strongest army the world has ever seen, being strong as a bear doesn't stop a Hellfire missile from a Predator drone
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Old 06-27-2015, 04:32 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

This is the dumbest thread ever. How could The Lord Jesus Christ fight an imaginary, made-up comic book character who doesn't exist? Stop wasting bandwidth, son.
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Old 06-27-2015, 05:30 PM
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GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.GilbertThork is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by A Follower View Post
What is death to God? When Jesus was done with being dead He simply resurrected Himself, I have yet to see thor doing that. And God's army, the US military, is the strongest army the world has ever seen, being strong as a bear doesn't stop a Hellfire missile from a Predator drone
Too bad death is still a concept as Jesus stayed dead for how many days? Hahahaha, while Jesus can still die and takes days to come back Thor and the other Asgards became immortal from eating the Golden Apples of Iduun. Wanna know what's funny about machines? They can't beat nature. Thor wields thunder and flying horses what can helicopters do to storms? What a joke, such a lush! Your imaginary Jesus loses it seems.
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Old 06-27-2015, 05:39 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThorkellOfNordic View Post
Too bad death is still a concept as Jesus stayed dead for how many days? Hahahaha, while Jesus can still die and takes days to come back Thor and the other Asgards became immortal from eating the Golden Apples of Iduun. Wanna know what's funny about machines? They can't beat nature. Thor wields thunder and flying horses what can helicopters do to storms? What a joke, such a lush! Your imaginary Jesus loses it seems.
You do know that Thor is based on a comic book, don't you?



YIC
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Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Old 06-27-2015, 05:51 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThorkellOfNordic View Post
Too bad death is still a concept as Jesus stayed dead for how many days? Hahahaha, while Jesus can still die and takes days to come back Thor and the other Asgards became immortal from eating the Golden Apples of Iduun. Wanna know what's funny about machines? They can't beat nature. Thor wields thunder and flying horses what can helicopters do to storms? What a joke, such a lush! Your imaginary Jesus loses it seems.
Jesus wasn't dead for days, He was busy.

You talk about Thor and his army of horses, but they cannot compare to Jesus army of FLYING HORSES (Revelation 19:14)! And when Jesus returns, He'll upset the world so fast it will make your head spin! The dead will rise and spontaneously float up to the clouds (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17), the sky will be on fire (2 Peter 3:10-13), God will throw a giant star right into the earth (Revelation 8:10), everyone who had and used the Mark of the Beast will break out in disgusting sores, water will turn into blood, and there will be no more sushi for hipsters (Revelation 16: 1-4), and all kinds of things that your silly Marvel comic hero could never accomplish, not in real life anyway. Just you wait.
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Old 06-27-2015, 05:55 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Dear Imbecile;

Thor is just another demon that Jesus has vanquished to the trashbin of history. There are Christian Churches in every country on earth, filled to the brim each and every Sunday, with open hearts and open wallets.

Name one "thor church" anywhere on earth.

Now shut your yap and listen up, miss: Jesus called you here to His favorite forum for a reason. That reason wasn't to make childish arguments, it was to get you washed clean of sin through His sweet, sweet blood. If I were you, I'd get on my knees RIGHT NOW and BEG Christ Jesus to take over your life and get those demons out of your rectum permanently.

I'm Praying for you anyway.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Old 06-27-2015, 06:04 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by ThorkellOfNordic View Post
Too bad death is still a concept as Jesus stayed dead for how many days? Hahahaha, while Jesus can still die and takes days to come back Thor and the other Asgards became immortal from eating the Golden Apples of Iduun. Wanna know what's funny about machines? They can't beat nature. Thor wields thunder and flying horses what can helicopters do to storms? What a joke, such a lush! Your imaginary Jesus loses it seems.

I don't know what kind of golden apples you have over there in godless Sweden, but I can tell you that when Induns leave golden apples in these parts, they come out of the ponies and it is the hindmost part that produces them. I've never heard any claims that eating horse apples will lead to immortality, even from the Induns and they believe all kinds of nonsense. As far as your flying heathens: We haven't seen any in this area, but if any come by, they had best not violate our airspace, or they will get a Stinger missile right up the golden apple factory.
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Old 06-27-2015, 07:56 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
This is the dumbest thread ever. How could The Lord Jesus Christ fight an imaginary, made-up comic book character who doesn't exist? Stop wasting bandwidth, son.
What she said.

There's no such flying as flying horses!

Like, if you're that dumb why not take up mohammedanism? They have flying horses they call them "buraq" (rhymes with "burqa") but it's all made up, as follows:

KORAN 17 bani Isra'il The Israelites Pickthall
1 Glorified be He Who carried His servant by night from the Inviolable Place of Worship to the Far distant place of worship the neighbourhood whereof We have blessed, that We might show him of Our tokens! Lo! He, only He, is the Hearer, the Seer.
Sound like gobbledygook? That's because it is.
So due to you can't really make out what's going on they made up some extra stuff.
From the hadith:
SAHIH-BUKHARI 5:58 "Merits of al-Ansaar" Abu Abdullah Muhammad bin Ismail bin Ibrahim bin al-Mughira al-Ja'fai
227 Malik bin Sasaa said that Allah's Apostle described to them his Night Journey saying, "While I was lying in Al-Hatim or Al-Hijr, suddenly someone came to me and cut my body open from here to here." I asked Al-Jarud who was by my side, "What does he mean?" He said, "It means from his throat to his pubic area," or said, "From the top of the chest." The Prophet further said, "He then took out my heart. Then a gold tray of Belief was brought to me and my heart was washed and was filled (with Belief) and then returned to its original place. Then a white animal which was smaller than a mule and bigger than a donkey was brought to me." (On this Al-Jarud asked, "Was it the Buraq, O Abu Hamza?" I (i.e. Anas) replied in the affirmative). The Prophet said, "The animal's step (was so wide that it) reached the farthest point within the reach of the animal's sight. I was carried on it, and Gabriel set out with me till we reached the nearest heaven.


Oh yes that's so much clearer ·· NOT ·· but at least we get it that Thor has no monopoly on flying horses or phantasms in general. Mythology can never deliver Salvation.

Sin is real.

Events leading to atonement are historical facts culminating in Jesus incarnation, His death, His resurrection and His ascension into Heaven ···· NO FLYING HORSES REQUIRED.


Soon Jesus will be returning. But what's happened to Thor? Guess he's lost his hammer..


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Old 06-27-2015, 10:26 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

Thor was a nazi and the nazis loved Thor. The japs probably too.
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Old 06-28-2015, 12:50 AM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Jesus wasn't dead for days, He was busy.

You talk about Thor and his army of horses, but they cannot compare to Jesus army of FLYING HORSES (Revelation 19:14)! And when Jesus returns, He'll upset the world so fast it will make your head spin! The dead will rise and spontaneously float up to the clouds (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17), the sky will be on fire (2 Peter 3:10-13), God will throw a giant star right into the earth (Revelation 8:10), everyone who had and used the Mark of the Beast will break out in disgusting sores, water will turn into blood, and there will be no more sushi for hipsters (Revelation 16: 1-4), and all kinds of things that your silly Marvel comic hero could never accomplish, not in real life anyway. Just you wait.
Gyahahaha! You realize Asgard is above Earth, God showering earth means nothing to Odin or Thor as it is located in one of nine worlds. Bahahaha, Jesus was not working he died and needed 7 days, he is too weak he was killed and beaten by mortal men! Also Thor is based or Nordic tales which inspired Marvel comics gyahaha your ignorance is humorous at best. You people have fun praying to an imaginary man while the Asgards pillage your towns. I've killed a few people like you in war, on the field I was a Demon and am still a demon! No, I am a devil! Go ahead and ban me though, I have many a yonder tales to jest about among my superior than you peers. Thor would demolish petty Jesus any day of the week! Maybe if he begs Odin will show mercy and make him a jester and perform magic tricks for the homeland yahahaha!
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Old 06-28-2015, 01:13 AM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by GilbertThorkellOfNordic View Post
Gyahahaha! Go ahead and ban me though, I have many a yonder tales to jest about among my superior than you peers... yahahaha!
.

In many ways, your language is like American, but it is difficult to understand. Can you translate into real American?
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Old 06-29-2015, 07:43 AM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by GilbertThorkellOfNordic View Post
Gyahahaha! You realize Asgard is above Earth, God showering earth means nothing to Odin or Thor as it is located in one of nine worlds. Bahahaha, Jesus was not working he died and needed 7 days, he is too weak he was killed and beaten by mortal men! Also Thor is based or Nordic tales which inspired Marvel comics gyahaha your ignorance is humorous at best. You people have fun praying to an imaginary man while the Asgards pillage your towns. I've killed a few people like you in war, on the field I was a Demon and am still a demon! No, I am a devil! Go ahead and ban me though, I have many a yonder tales to jest about among my superior than you peers. Thor would demolish petty Jesus any day of the week! Maybe if he begs Odin will show mercy and make him a jester and perform magic tricks for the homeland yahahaha!
Your craven idolatry is entirely without substance, heathen. Your False God was worshipped by sodomites whose personal hygiene was on a par with that of goats and swine, running around in animal skins and plundering the women and raping the sheep. Add to that his retarded brother Loki. The Bible is clear as day on this matter: Exodus 20:3 Thou shalt have no other Gods before me.
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Old 06-29-2015, 08:21 AM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by Eucharista McBride View Post
...Add to that his retarded brother Loki....
You're thinking of the Marvel Comics version... The original myths and poems have Loki as the unofficial-adopted brother (ie."Best friend") of Odin...

Marvel Comics just switched everything around to fit their stories to make money. Entertaining? Yes. Historically/poetically accurate? Not in the least.
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Old 06-29-2015, 09:04 AM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by Damned Angelique View Post
You're thinking of the Marvel Comics version... The original myths and poems have Loki as the unofficial-adopted brother (ie."Best friend") of Odin...

Marvel Comics just switched everything around to fit their stories to make money. Entertaining? Yes. Historically/poetically accurate? Not in the least.
According to Heathen Lore, Loki appeared to suffer second child syndrome on top of being a tard. As for historical accuracy? There's no place on a Christian message board for discussing idolatry. There is no accuracy to discuss. Praise the Lord, The One True God. Amen.
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Old 06-29-2015, 11:54 AM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor?

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Originally Posted by Damned Angelique View Post
Historically/poetically accurate? Not in the least.
This is, at least correct.

My young, naiver, clean limbed, youthful young Nephew actually tried to tell me these comic books were written in the Bronze Age.

I explained to him how radiation had not been invented then (and even it it had by some genius of the time the decay rates would have been very different) but I had to take him to his parent to be punished for lying.

YIC
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Old 07-08-2015, 07:35 PM
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Default Re: Who would win in a fight Jesus Christ or the Mighty Thor? Answer: JESUS!!!

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Originally Posted by GilbertThorkellOfNordic View Post
Besides your False God sacrificed his own son! What a great father. Dying for people's sins? So Jesus has weak people in his army who need a martyr?
Please correct me if I'm wrong, but, according to the Norse mythology, didn't Odin die as well, making a self-sacrifice - I vaguely remember reading something about him hanging from a tree like a ripe apple? Wouldn't that make him a weak god, according to your own definition?
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