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MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-27-2007, 10:14 PM

Hello Brothers and Sisters.

It is with good news I post this ad. My True Christian Niece is looking for a new fiancee!

Our prayers were answered last week when her Unsaved, Hellbound boyfriend was sent home to Hell in an unfortunate hunting accident. I don't know why, but it seems we get a lot of those around here.

Anyway, here is a picture of my sweet little niece. If you are interested in courting precious little Gracie, please post here what you will expect of her as a GODLY wife and what you have to offer her. As you can see she is a very good cook and loves the outdoors and guns. She is also ready to start bearing new warriors for CHRIST!

GLORY!!!!!!!

P/S: please forgive her provacative pose, however she thought it might attract more potential True Christian husbands. You know how kids are these days.

Lve, Sister Thumper
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-27-2007, 10:15 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Hello Brothers and Sisters.

It is with good news I post this ad. My True Christian Niece is looking for a new fiancee!

Our prayers were answered last week when her Unsaved, Hellbound boyfriend was sent home to Hell in an unfortunate hunting accident. I don't know why, but it seems we get a lot of those around here.

Anyway, here is a picture of my sweet little niece. If you are interested in courting precious little Gracie, please post here what you will expect of her as a GODLY wife and what you have to offer her. As you can see she is a very good cook and loves the outdoors and guns. She is also ready to start bearing new warriors for CHRIST!

GLORY!!!!!!!

P/S: please forgive her provacative pose, however she thought it might attract more potential True Christian husbands. You know how kids are these days.

Lve, Sister Thumper
What a nice picture! I certainly see the family resemblance, but that pose might be a little TOO provocative.


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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-27-2007, 10:24 PM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
please post here what you will expect of her as a GODLY wife and what you have to offer her.
Praise sister! Not often a looker like her comes on the market available.
My neighbour is looking for a new love in his life and at 75 years, he's a bit slow but apparently still has plenty of Seed left PLUS his own teeth!
He asked if you'd take an 89 Chevy Pick-up as an exchange. 4 good tires and only just had a new Battery fitted



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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-28-2007, 02:53 PM

You have a very attractive niece, Sister Thumper. But her photo is a little provocative for my tastes. Sure, the automatic weapon and the camo says, "I'm Godly and a True Christian™," but the hiked-up denim skirt says, "I'm likely to sass talk or take a peek during the act of child creation." Am I wrong? Perhaps I could have the army fly her to Baghdad for a meeting if she's interested in an up-and-coming Young Republican.

In the meantime, I'm going to pin up this picture in my room, if she doesn't mind.


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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-28-2007, 07:15 PM

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Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post

You have a very attractive niece, Sister Thumper. But her photo is a little provocative for my tastes. Sure, the automatic weapon and the camo says, "I'm Godly and a True Christian™," but the hiked-up denim skirt says, "I'm likely to sass talk or take a peek during the act of child creation." Am I wrong? Perhaps I could have the army fly her to Baghdad for a meeting if she's interested in an up-and-coming Young Republican.

In the meantime, I'm going to pin up this picture in my room, if she doesn't mind.
Gosh Mr Trent, you have excellent taste in the ladies! Can we expect a lvematch on Landover in the near future?

... best of luck to you both, noddy


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-29-2007, 03:40 PM

No offence but searching for love on a forum is dispeared. But when I saw her picture I knew why she searched it on a forum
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-29-2007, 07:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Karo View Post
No offence but searching for love on a forum is dispeared.
Don't worry, people usually have to be able to understand what you're saying before they can get offended.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-29-2007, 10:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr. View Post
You have a very attractive niece, Sister Thumper. But her photo is a little provocative for my tastes. Sure, the automatic weapon and the camo says, "I'm Godly and a True Christian™," but the hiked-up denim skirt says, "I'm likely to sass talk or take a peek during the act of child creation." Am I wrong? Perhaps I could have the army fly her to Baghdad for a meeting if she's interested in an up-and-coming Young Republican.

In the meantime, I'm going to pin up this picture in my room, if she doesn't mind.

GLORY Brother Trent!

I just talked to Gracie and she'd love to go to Baghdad for an interview and is very interested in dating an up-and-coming young Republican!

She also said she would love to send you more photos. I just pm'ed you with her email addy.

Oh, I just looooove young love! You two would make a DARLING couple!

Delighted, Sister Thumper




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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-30-2007, 01:19 PM

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Originally Posted by Karo View Post
No offence but searching for love on a forum is dispeared. But when I saw her picture I knew why she searched it on a forum
I don't understand you, Karosyrup. You accuse us of attacking people when all we've done is to judge righteous judgment by pointing out that they're hellbound trash, but then you judge poor Gracie according to her appearance.

John 7:24: Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.


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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 04:09 AM

Oh! Oh! I have a cousin that would probably like her!!
His name is Weight Watchers.
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 05:40 AM

Well, She is defininately American I'll give her that, Americans = Fat.
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 06:30 AM

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Originally Posted by SoccerItalia View Post
Well, She is defininately American I'll give her that, Americans = Fat.
Where is all your professed Christian "love" and tolerance? According to you "Americans are 80% European", so does this mean "Europeans = Fat"?

The last time I checked your were Gonged, who let you back in here? Did you give false testimony to one of the Pastors to get yourself back in?


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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 06:47 AM

I don't hate Americans, Infact my family are from Little Sicily, New york.

I just don't like Americans who are big headed and think Christianity is the best and racist.
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 06:53 AM

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Originally Posted by SoccerItalia View Post
think Christianity is the best
So you're saying Jesus was wrong when He said that He is the ONLY WAY?
And you dare call yourself a Christian? (Or well.. a cathylick.. But according to yourself, you're Christian. Even if you aren't.)


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 07:07 AM

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Originally Posted by SoccerItalia View Post
I don't hate Americans, Infact my family are from Little Sicily, New york.

I just don't like Americans who are big headed and think Christianity is the best and racist.
Wait a second. You are Sicilian BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY IS FROM LITTLE SICILY, NEW YORK, USA?!?!?!?!?

You dumbass. Get out of here before I ban your black butt for eternity!


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoccerItalia View Post
I don't hate Americans, Infact my family are from Little Sicily, New york.

I just don't like Americans who are big headed and think Christianity is the best and racist.
There is actually no such place. It's called "little Italy" because every wop has a tiny tallywacker.

And I wonder if you really know what the greaseballs down there think about porch monkeys and spics? That section of joo york city is not known for its tolerance.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Joshua Brooks's Avatar
Joshua Brooks Joshua Brooks is offline
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Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 06:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari View Post
Oh! Oh! I have a cousin that would probably like her!!
His name is Weight Watchers.
I am sorry, ma'am, but I must say that was quite rude and insensitive. Not everyone is blessed with a fast metabolism nor does raw fish and white rice agree with the palette of every person. I think you owe Ms. Thumper an apology for such a disrespectful comment toward her niece. There are plenty of men like Mr. Trent who adore bovine women.

This is why we have anorexics and bulimics today. It is not enough for you to have a personal opinion on the poor girls appearance, you have to publicly attempt to humiliate her. You wish to make her so self-conscious and so self-loathing that she forsakes proper nutrition and starves herself to death. You might as well just take a butcher's knife and stab it right between two rolls of her superfluous flabs and cut some bacon out of her lifeless corpse.

I am glad that I am Saved and have left behind such childish and juvenile behavior. You are no different than a murderer, Miss Hikari.
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 06:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoccerItalia View Post
I just don't like Americans who are big headed and think Christianity is the best and racist.
That's alright, we don't think Christianity is racist.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Miss Hikari Miss Hikari is offline
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Miss Hikari is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 08-31-2007, 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua Brooks View Post
I am sorry, ma'am, but I must say that was quite rude and insensitive. Not everyone is blessed with a fast metabolism nor does raw fish and white rice agree with the palette of every person. I think you owe Ms. Thumper an apology for such a disrespectful comment toward her niece. There are plenty of men like Mr. Trent who adore bovine women.

This is why we have anorexics and bulimics today. It is not enough for you to have a personal opinion on the poor girls appearance, you have to publicly attempt to humiliate her. You wish to make her so self-conscious and so self-loathing that she forsakes proper nutrition and starves herself to death. You might as well just take a butcher's knife and stab it right between two rolls of her superfluous flabs and cut some bacon out of her lifeless corpse.

I am glad that I am Saved and have left behind such childish and juvenile behavior. You are no different than a murderer, Miss Hikari.
Al right, I'll apologize. Ms. Thumper, I am sorry that when you go swimming in the ocean, whales start singing, "We are family....Even thought you are fatter than we."
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Poison__x Poison__x is offline
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Poison__x is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Meet My Niece Gracie - 09-01-2007, 12:10 AM

Now that's just piffleing gross. Seriously, put some clothes on and go to the gym or something and lose some weight.
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