Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Reload this Page Godly Advice For Keeping Your Man
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life 

 
Posts: 79,360
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Godly Advice For Keeping Your Man - 03-24-2016, 09:29 PM

Every woman on God's Green Earth should study THIS article, written in the glorious 1950's, in order to teach them how to keep their man happy and contented. Whether you're married or courting, all females should take this advice to heart!

Quote:

7 Tips for Keeping Your Man

1. DON'T TALK


Oh, did Mavis from next door insult your prize winning squash? Did little Timmy get sent home for starting fires again? That shooting pain in your left arm just keeps getting more intense? Keep it to yourself! Your man works all through his day and the last thing he needs to hear about is yours. Refer to the first four commandments on “How to be a Good Wife” Edward Podolsky gives in his 1943 book, Sex Today in Wedded Life:
Don’t bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work.
Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman’s business.
Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
In his 1951 book, Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage, Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer has more to add to that. Do not ask for things. This is called "nagging":
I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look.
Unless your husband wants you to talk. Then don’t you dare disappoint him. Says Reverend Tyrer:
“If [the husband] is intellectually inclined, and from time to time seeks to explain little things to her so that she may have at least a bare knowledge of what it is that interests him, and, without the slightest comment, she takes up again the fashion magazine she laid down when he commenced to speak, we may be pretty sure that there is going to be a ‘rift in the lute’ sooner or later in that house.”



2. BAD COOKING WILL DRIVE YOUR MAN TO SEEDY SALOONS

My god woman, this turkey tastes like wet toilet paper stuffed inside a burnt basketball. Have you no pride? Oh, you had a late shift at the hospital and then went straight to Timmy’s intervention? No excuses! Heed Reverend Tyrer!
A social service meeting, an afternoon tea, a matinee, a whatnot, is no excuse for there being no dinner ready when a husband comes home from a hard day’s work.
Housekeeping accomplishments and cooking ability are, of course, positive essentials in any true home, and every wife should take a reasonable pride in her skill. Happiness does not flourish in an atmosphere of dyspepsia.
Or listen to the even more plain-spoken Dr. William Josephus Robinson:
Bad cooking is responsible for dyspepsia, dyspepsia is responsible for grouchiness and irritability, grouchiness and irritability lead to quarrels and squabbles. And bad cooking, which is the usual thing in the average American home, has been responsible as much as any other factor for driving the husband to the saloon, and to other places. And when she does cook, she should cook, and not be, as somebody said, a mere can opener.
If you didn’t want your husband to become a syphilitic alcoholic, you should have learned to make a damn pot roast properly.



3. BE THE HOT STEAK, NOT THE CHEAP PORK

Speaking of cooking, Reverend Tyrer has a metaphor for you.
Picture a woman preparing a fine meal for her husband. “She remembered his choice of meat and was careful to get an extra-fine cut…her best cutlery and dishes and finest linen are all in evidence, and a little colorful decoration has been tastefully displayed….and as he comes into the house she greets him with a smile of welcome and a touch of manifest love.” Now, say that linen was a bed sheet, the colorful little decoration was fuzzy handcuffs, and you had the privilege of being that extra fine cut of meat. What does all that equal? A husband who doesn’t cheat on you!
But say that same wife "is constantly setting him down to indigestible meals, cold and unappetizing, with nothing properly cooked, set out on a kitchen table with a dirty cloth, she need not be surprised if her husband frequently telephones from the office that business will prevent him from being home for dinner."
All because you weren’t properly cooked when he was hungry!



4. BUT DON'T BE A SEXUAL VAMPIRE OR A FRIGID FRANNY

Of course, as Dr. Robinsontells us, it is possible to be over-cooked. Then you become a “sexual vampire” and you will drive your husband to his grave, feasting on his life force.
Just as the vampire sucks the blood of its victims in their sleep while they are alive, so does the woman vampire suck the life and exhaust the vitality of her male partner—or "victim."
It is to be borne in mind that it is particularly older girls—girls between thirty and fifty—who are apt to be unreasonable in their demands when they get married; but no age is exempt; sexual vampires may be found among girls of twenty as well as among women of sixty and over.
The opposite of that is to be frigid, of course. That means you take no particular pleasure from the sexual act with your husband. Oh, "we should talk it out openly and honestly," you say? Maybe see a doctor, a therapist?
You disgust me. What do you think that will do to your husband’s ego? Listen to Dr. Robinson and save your marriage!
Now, if you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it. To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not unless he knows that you are frigid. And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Heed this advice. It has saved thousands of women from trouble.



5. PINK PANTIES ARE A MUST

And while we’re on the subject of you performing convincingly in the boudoir, you better be costumed correctly, too.
That the underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the color should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.



6. LET HIM HAVE A LITTLE FUN NOW AND THEN

What if your man strays after marriage? Well, Dr. Robinson is here for you again. He says that ultimately, a wife will react to infidelity as her heart dictates. But he still offers some advice.
Get over it.
But in case of an occasional lapse on the part of the husband—there a bit of advice may prove acceptable. And my advice would be: forgive and forget. Or still better—make believe that you know nothing. An occasional lapse from the straight path does not mean that he has ceased to love you. He may love you as much; he may love you a good deal more.



7. YOUR HUSBAND IS THE BOSS OF YOU

It is fitting to close with a simple truism from the renowned Eugenicist Prof. B.G. Jefferis, in hisSearchlights on Health, The Science of Eugenics:
The Number One Rule. Reverence Your Husband.—He sustains by God’s order a position of dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. Any breaking down of this order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from duty.
Stop talking, slap on some pink drawers, and start worshipping!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is online now
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing 

 
Posts: 17,388
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Godly Advice For Keeping Your Man - 03-25-2016, 02:01 AM

What fabulous advice! Thank you, Pastor! I shall print this out and add it to my collection. Some of my favorite books include,















Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Johny Joe Hold's Avatar
Johny Joe Hold Johny Joe Hold is offline
Mayor of Freehold
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mayor True Republican Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Saved 1 Year Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Eats the Most Pork Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Stamp of Approval Guns ablazin' Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel 

 
Posts: 4,815
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Johny Joe Hold will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Godly Advice For Keeping Your Man - 03-25-2016, 03:23 AM

Sister E, what a fine collection of books for any housewife to keep at hand.

I always admonish new wives in Freehold to visit with you and other wives in Freehold who keep their husbands happy. You are truly an inspiration.

I like, also, to remind young wives about national role models. One is beautiful Michele Bachmann. She rushes home to fix hubby's dinner and always has his interests close to her heart. Today, he ask her to tell Obama the bombing in Europe was God's revenge for his sinfulness. She did a good job and I'm sure her husband is pleased.

But then, Bachmann suggested that the reason for the attack was for God to demonstrate the “foolishness” of Obama’s policies.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson's Avatar
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Heaven Bound Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Prayer Warrior Best stoning bucket A for Effort One Year/1000 posts Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico 2015 Witch Hunt Award 

 
Posts: 1,149
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Godly Advice For Keeping Your Man - 03-30-2016, 01:28 AM

That article is such a good reminder! I've printed it out and hung it in my sewing room to help remind myself (as a woman, I have such a tiny brain) on how to be a good, submissive wife as he calls me to be in Ephesians 5:22.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2015 all rights reserved