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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 07-21-2012, 04:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Malfunction View Post
Exactly what do we gain by tithing? I am just curious to know.
Gain?

How about not spending eternity being satan's favorite party ewe? How's that?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Captain_Malfunction is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain_Malfunction is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Captain_Malfunction is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 07-21-2012, 02:02 PM

Hmm we Urantians do not have a concept of Hell in our religion, but I would be more than happy to tithe to you all.

Can I get a pony though, since I will not become Satan's favorite party ewe?
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Cool Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 07-21-2012, 05:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain_Malfunction View Post
Hmm we Urantians do not have a concept of Hell in our religion, but I would be more than happy to tithe to you all.

Can I get a pony though, since I will not become Satan's favorite party ewe?
Sure, we will send you a pony, (it will be a little one) once your accounts zero out.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-03-2013, 08:10 PM

I have tried a couple times to tithe the LBC, but there seems to be something wrong with the paypal acct. Is my money not good enough to do the Lords work or has some sinner been hacking on it?


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-03-2013, 08:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai View Post
I have tried a couple times to tithe the LBC, but there seems to be something wrong with the paypal acct. Is my money not good enough to do the Lords work or has some sinner been hacking on it?
The Bible tells them to be cautious about accepting donations:

Deuteronomy 23:18 "Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the Lord thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the Lord thy God."

You aren't trying to launder your pimping income, are you?



"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." - George Orwell
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Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-03-2013, 08:38 PM

Exodus 25:2 - Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-03-2013, 08:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai View Post
Exodus 25:2 - Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.
Evading the question and implying that the Bible is internally contradictory: yeah, you should fit in around here.



"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." - George Orwell
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Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Donovan A. Mordecai is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-03-2013, 08:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Evading the question and implying that the Bible is internally contradictory: yeah, you should fit in around here.

to answer your question, I have never, practiced rentals, only sales to Good Christian Men

Exodus 21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-06-2013, 07:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai View Post
Exodus 25:2 - Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.
Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering. And this is the offering which ye shall take of them; gold, and silver, and brass, And blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, And rams' skins dyed red, and badgers' skins, and shittim wood, Oil for the light, spices for anointing oil, and for sweet incense, Onyx stones, and stones to be set in the ephod, and in the breastplate. Exodus 25:1-7

We aren't willing to take your Paypal, but if you have a spare ephod or goats' hair garment to donate, that can be arranged.


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-09-2013, 01:13 AM

Don't Jew Jesus? Are you serious?! What are you, five, resorting to stereotypes like this? That's alright, I'm sure the FBI enjoys finding links to stuff like this, makes their job more interesting
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 08-09-2013, 03:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lannah Aikens View Post
Don't Jew Jesus? Are you serious?! What are you, five, resorting to stereotypes like this? That's alright, I'm sure the FBI enjoys finding links to stuff like this, makes their job more interesting
Be sure and record the call.

I can't wait to hear your local FBI office's reaction to you reporting us for practicing Christianity according to the Holy Bible.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 05:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Amen sister.
damn daddy ezekial i want you to put your ***Stupid attempt to gain teenage kudos by shock value removed*** please father ***Antoher stupid attempt to gain teenage kudos by shock value removed***i want to fit ***Still another stupid attempt to gain teenage kudos by shock value removed***
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 05:30 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Be sure and record the call.

I can't wait to hear your local FBI office's reaction to you reporting us for practicing Christianity according to the Holy Bible.
okay but seriously now, how can all of the christians on this site be so hateful? religion and god are both supposed to be a beautiful thing. how can you believe every word in a book thats been written and rewritten by man so many times? life is supposed to be enjoyed and explored, living in such a closeminded world how do you even make it through the day, focusing on others lives so much. how can you go on being so bitter, like seriously, ive seen people on here saying cannabis (a gift from god) is heroin, and that gothgirls should be raped. truly evil and despicable, for every thought of hate or judgement you all just stray further from your lord. you think that god, a supposedly omnipotent being, creator of the entire universe, can fit in a bible? do you think that we as humans can even comprehend what he intends for us? get a grip, flatearther
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Prayer Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 05:38 AM

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Originally Posted by whydochristianshate View Post
okay but seriously now, how can all of the christians on this site be so hateful? religion and god are both supposed to be a beautiful thing. how can you believe every word in a book thats been written and rewritten by man so many times? life is supposed to be enjoyed and explored, living in such a closeminded world how do you even make it through the day, focusing on others lives so much. how can you go on being so bitter, like seriously, ive seen people on here saying cannabis (a gift from god) is heroin, and that gothgirls should be raped. truly evil and despicable, for every thought of hate or judgement you all just stray further from your lord. you think that god, a supposedly omnipotent being, creator of the entire universe, can fit in a bible? do you think that we as humans can even comprehend what he intends for us? get a grip, flatearther
Dear Sinner,

Please look at your first post just above your second one. It contained only insults and references to fornicatory violence and you actually thought that that would be a decent way to make your first post on a Christian Forum? It was so rude that it was impossible to let is remain on a Forum that is visited by women and children. Can you see how the constant flow of hate that the newcomers pour down on us eventually affects the rhetoric of the Interwebs and just breeds more hate?!

Matthew 7:5
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Our mission is to warn the populace that if they go on business as usual, Jesus is not going to spare them come Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17). Their eternity is at stake. Now, are you seriously calling that "hate" when it's in reality our labor of Love.

Now, please tell us how your first post promoted making this world a "beautiful thing"? How does you ad hominem scorn "flatearther" advance your ideals?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 06:20 AM

Yeah you're right that first post was pretty funny haha, but I don't recall violence, I was just so attracted to Zeke bc he puts the "stud" in bible study. Sinning's pretty fun tho! I can do whatever I want without repercussions from some spaghetti monster in the sky. And maybe I helped some poor little gay child think outside a box, even if it was a very vulgar and profane joke lmao, and you're correct, it was pretty hypocritical but that's cool, like I said, sinning's fun, and as long as people don't look down on others or judge them in hateful ways like all of the "good" Bible thumpers on this website, I respect them and let them live their own lives. Touching yourself is fun, feels good, and doesn't make you a bad person
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 06:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by whydochristianshate View Post
Yeah you're right that first post was pretty funny haha, but I don't recall violence, I was just so attracted to Zeke bc he puts the "stud" in bible study. Sinning's pretty fun tho! I can do whatever I want without repercussions from some spaghetti monster in the sky. And maybe I helped some poor little gay child think outside a box, even if it was a very vulgar and profane joke lmao, and you're correct, it was pretty hypocritical but that's cool, like I said, sinning's fun, and as long as people don't look down on others or judge them in hateful ways like all of the "good" Bible thumpers on this website, I respect them and let them live their own lives. Touching yourself is fun, feels good, and doesn't make you a bad person
Goody for you!

But you're not a True Christian™, and this is their forum, not yours, so no one cares what you think.

*sound of someone's bubble bursting*




"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." - George Orwell
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Question Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 06:30 AM

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Originally Posted by whydochristianshate View Post
...and as long as people don't look down on others or judge them in hateful ways like all of the "good" Bible thumpers on this website, I respect them and let them live their own lives...
Dear Person, what a wonderful principle! What would you say to someone who posts things such as the one below? Does it contain looking down on people of judging them? How does it represent respect and letting people live their own lives?
Quote:
Originally Posted by whydochristianshate View Post
I'd have to disagree, they're a racist homophobic piece of judgmental garbage who's probably not mentally stable! Everyone should care what they have to say, maybe it'll prevent a school shooting damn christians are bad people
We respect God and His Ways!

Psalms 119:15
I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.

The Way is Jesus!

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
How to teach children FACTS not FICTION! Show them how God CREATES new animals! Make them FEAR God!
Never EVER
allow life support or CPR !
Help me SAVE THE WORLD and find NEW SOLDIERS for Jesus!
Follow my adventures in Godless France: Day 1 (cavities), Day 2 (cat licks), Day 3 (Turd of France), Day 4 (Answered prayers).
Dolphins are 'cute' but they are also HOMOSEXUALS CORRUPTED by SATAN!
The TRUTH about 'homeopathy'.
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 06:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Dear Person, what a wonderful principle! What would you say to someone who posts things such as the one below? Does it contain looking down on people of judging them? How does it represent respect and letting people live their own lives?

We respect God and His Ways!

Psalms 119:15
I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.

The Way is Jesus!

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer
Yeah, you guys are right, I've been pretty childish, I will not make any more posts on this website, sorry for my annoyances and trying to start fights, I need to let all of you live your own lives without my input. Goodluck in your future.
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Default Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! - 05-13-2017, 06:43 AM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Goody for you!

But you're not a True Christian™, and this is their forum, not yours, so no one cares what you think.

*sound of someone's bubble bursting*

Yeah true man, ya didn't really burst my bubble or anything but I've been being very childish and I honestly apologize, goodnight.
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