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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 09-28-2007, 02:28 AM

ohh sorry, I joined here because is interesting this Os, catolic guy. I will write some about me.
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 09-28-2007, 03:29 AM

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Originally Posted by pplandarts View Post
ohh sorry, I joined here because is interesting this Os, catolic guy. I will write some about me.
Who are you adressing? There is no "catolic guy" here. We are True Christians™, not mary worshiping cultists.

I look forward to hearing about your favorite Bible verses.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 09-28-2007, 03:30 AM

Well, friend. I'll tell you how you can get JesOS. It isn't available as a download. It's free as in salvation. First, you have to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you have to demonstrate your salvation by setting up a generous tithing schedule.

Once you have been a member in good standing for long enough, we will send a technician over to your house to install the software. As part of the License Agreement, you will have to agree to a search of your property for alcohol, drugs, pornography, and books about liberal politics or science, with all contraband being confiscated, and your tithing schedule adjusted upwards accordingly.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 10-01-2007, 06:03 PM

We need to conduct an audit. Some atheist over at RichardDawkins.net has a copy of the JesOS install CD. Who is missing their copy? You will be much better off if you come clean now instead of waiting for Bobby Joe's security detail to perform house-to-house searches.

Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calilasseia
Unfortunately I couldn't get Jes-OS to run on my PC. I kept hearing voices calling me a "goat pleasuring son of a one eyed whore" whenever I put the CD-ROM in the drive, and sulphurous smoke kept erupting from the back of the system case ...
Yeah, that will happen. Did you admit that you are a worthless sinner, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and provide your bank account number and routing number to Landover Baptist Church during the install, as the license agreement requires?

The programmers use a faith-based approach to software development, so they know the software is 100% free of bugs, and testing is not required. Because of the developers' faith, the Holy Ghost adds tons and tons of surprising and unexpected features. Only a unsaved heathen would consider such to be bugs. They are working on getting PraiseZilla up and running, so that a list can be compiled of all the exciting additional features the users have been blessed with. The LORD is so good!

I have to ask how you obtained your copy. I thought it was only supposed to be available to silver-level tithers or higher in good standing.

Pastor Billy-Reuben
LandoverBaptist.net


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 10-01-2007, 07:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
We need to conduct an audit. Some atheist over at RichardDawkins.net has a copy of the JesOS install CD. Who is missing their copy? You will be much better off if you come clean now instead of waiting for Bobby Joe's security detail to perform house-to-house searches.
PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 10-01-2007, 09:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.
What's AAI, Pastor? "American Atheist Intervention?" by any chance?

I want to go too
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 10-02-2007, 01:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
What's AAI, Pastor? "American Atheist Intervention?" by any chance?

I want to go too
Don't ask, sweet sister. And whatever you do, do not google AAI.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 10-02-2007, 05:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
PDF's copy disappeared while he was at the AAI convention.
I would not be too concerned Pastor Pistle, JesOS is encrypted and the license agreement mentions Leviticus (26) as punishment to all those who violate its covenants (something that heathen Bill Gates never thought of).


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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 10-02-2007, 02:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Don't ask, sweet sister. And whatever you do, do not google AAI.
Good advice, I only wish I'd taken it. The Athletics Association of Ireland is a horrific thing indeed.


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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 11-29-2007, 08:11 PM

WTF?!!??!!!?!?! yall r soooooo gay! like someone is going to actually care if yall gave the download to other people or not. yall r being just like Mircrosoft! JesOS should be a freely distributed form of OS and remember that Jesus wants to good to ALL humanity not only Christians so if you just kept that OS to ur selves Jeses him self is going to get mad at you.
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 11-29-2007, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fock You View Post
JesOS should be a freely distributed form of OS
What are you, a communist or something?

Next you'll tell us you want it open source so you can re-compile it with the automatic tithing and porn blocking disabled.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 11-29-2007, 08:29 PM

lol i didnt say i want the source i just said the OS i never said anything about the source plus puttin that in reality its just like what Jesus said that everyone have the right to choose what ever he wants but if he choose the wrong path then your pretty much going to hell and thats the same thing for the software if someone disabled the porn blocker then good for him, the spiders in hell r also waitin for him
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 11-29-2007, 08:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fock You View Post
lol i didnt say i want the source i just said the OS i never said anything about the source plus puttin that in reality its just like what Jesus said that everyone have the right to choose what ever he wants but if he choose the wrong path then your pretty much going to hell and thats the same thing for the software if someone disabled the porn blocker then good for him, the spiders in hell r also waitin for him
Friend, I can't make heads or tails of that post. Would you mind rewriting that, using complete sentences, a spell checker, and punctuation?

Thank you.

Pastor Billy-Reuben


Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
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iggybeans iggybeans is offline
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 04-28-2012, 02:09 PM

Where's the download link?
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Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 04-28-2012, 02:44 PM

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Originally Posted by iggybeans View Post
Where's the download link?
Dear friend:

Please read the thread before posting. Thank you, and have a blessed day.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 04-28-2012, 03:14 PM

Pastor Peters, is there a newer version of JesOS? I currently have 7.21 Not there is anything wrong with it but I was wondering if there are any enhancements to improve the Biblical experience.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 04-28-2012, 06:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
Dear friend:

Please read the thread before posting. Thank you, and have a blessed day.

Forgive me pastor, I didn't realize it was that simple.
I don't even have to install it myself?
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: JesOS: What's in YOUR future? - 04-28-2012, 11:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Pastor Peters, is there a newer version of JesOS? I currently have 7.21 Not there is anything wrong with it but I was wondering if there are any enhancements to improve the Biblical experience.
I've been meaning to ask you if you're ready to step up to "Gold Tither" status, friend. After all this time stuck at the silver level, wouldn't it be good to know what the inside of the Gold Tither Men's Lounge looks like?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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