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Default Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 01:29 AM

Folks, did you know that Abraham's family had to eat Locust Biscuits because there wasn't very much food in the desert, but there were lots locusts? Anyway, I was having a slow baking day, so I came up with a good recipe for what may have been Abraham's favorite dish.

1/3 cup shortening
1 3/4 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup locusts
3/4 cup milk

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Mix ingredients and spoon out on a greased cookie sheet. Bake for ten minutes.

PS Grass Hoppers or Almonds can be substituted for the locusts.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 08:32 AM

Cicada's are coming this year I hear. Might be even better than Locust because they age much longer. But they do make so much noise.
http://www.cicadamania.com/cicadas/

Perhaps you should send them your recipe!
http://www.newsdesk.umd.edu/pdf/cicada%20recipes.PDF
We could put all them homeless people to work gathering these critters and we could feed them too!
and here's a recipe for Cicada pie, mmmmm.
http://www.wlwt.com/news/2968023/detail.html
Quote:
Cicada Pie


2 pie pastries, slightly thawed
50 female cicadas
1 pint of cream
About 2 cups of stale bread or bread crumbs
1 tsp rhubarb flavor
Soak the cicadas, bread, cream and rhubarb flavor in a bowl until softened. Prepare the pie crust. Add the cicada mixture. Lattice the second pie crust over the cicada mixture. Cook at 350 degrees until golden brown (about 11 to 14 minutes).


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 09:43 AM

Oooooooh I love swapping Recipe's!!
If you have access to Chocolate there's nothing better than:

Chocolate Cricket Chip Cookies

1. 2 1/4 cup flour
2. 1 tsp. baking soda
3. 1 tsp. salt
4. 1 cup butter, softened
5. 3/4 cup sugar
6. 3/4 cup brown sugar
7. 1 tsp. vanilla
8. 2 eggs
9. 1 12-ounce chocolate chips
10. 1 cup chopped nuts
11. 1/2 cup dry-roasted crickets
12. Preheat oven to 375. In small bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt; set aside. In large bowl, combine butter, sugar, brown sugar and vanilla; beat until creamy. Beat in eggs. Gradually add flour mixture and insects, mix well. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop by rounded measuring teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 8-10 minutes.

Of course, if your Crickets aren't already Dry-Roasted just catch-em and cook-em anyway.


Tasty



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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
Cicada's are coming this year I hear. Might be even better than Locust because they age much longer. But they do make so much noise.
http://www.cicadamania.com/cicadas/

Perhaps you should send them your recipe!
http://www.newsdesk.umd.edu/pdf/cicada%20recipes.PDF
We could put all them homeless people to work gathering these critters and we could feed them too!
and here's a recipe for Cicada pie, mmmmm.
http://www.wlwt.com/news/2968023/detail.html

Cicada Pie


2 pie pastries, slightly thawed
50 female cicadas
1 pint of cream
About 2 cups of stale bread or bread crumbs
1 tsp rhubarb flavor
Soak the cicadas, bread, cream and rhubarb flavor in a bowl until softened. Prepare the pie crust. Add the cicada mixture. Lattice the second pie crust over the cicada mixture. Cook at 350 degrees until golden brown (about 11 to 14 minutes).
I know I'm going to be sorry I asked this, but how do you tell a female cicada from a male one?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 02:43 PM

GLOWry, Mother Glynndie! Sounds close to the baked goods I myself am famous for here at Landover Baptist.

I won't commit the Sin of Pride yet one more time in bragging about it, but it's also nice iced with Mayonnaise and looks sort of thus:


Last edited by SUV; 05-22-2007 at 07:36 PM.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 03:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
GLOWry, Mother Glynndie! Sounds close to the baked goods I am myself am famous for here at Landover Baptist.

I won't commit the Sin of Pride yet one more time in bragging about it, but it's also nice iced with Mayonnaise and looks sort of thus:

Maybe a bit of brown mustard on a sandwich, but ICED with mayo?
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 07:03 PM

Speaking of recipes, I have one for Geoduck, a large clam that grows in the waters off the Pacific Northwest. The geoduck (pronounced gooey-duck) meat sticks out of its shell, and is very delicious.



My wife Delores loves geoducks steamed, just like I learned when I was growing up in Cleveland. When I put on my chef's hat, Delores gets excited because she knows she's going to get a delicious Cleveland Steamer. Then, after dinner, we go downstairs to the damp music room in the basement and Delores plays my rusty trombone.


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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 07:46 PM

My GOD, Brother H. Monty, that does indeed look every bit as Delicious as the one Pastor gave me!!!

(So who needs "steamed hams?")

PS Bless you for helping me to ignore this new Sinner, Dances with Joy. If female, this sounds rather Gomer/wicker to me. And didn't she also used to do Dances with Wolves, too? Abomination!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
Speaking of recipes, I have one for Geoduck, a large clam that grows in the waters off the Pacific Northwest. The geoduck (pronounced gooey-duck) meat sticks out of its shell, and is very delicious.



My wife Delores loves geoducks steamed, just like I learned when I was growing up in Cleveland. When I put on my chef's hat, Delores gets excited because she knows she's going to get a delicious Cleveland Steamer. Then, after dinner, we go downstairs to the damp music room in the basement and Delores plays my rusty trombone.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 07:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
PS Bless you for helping me to ignore this new Sinner, Dances with Joy. If female, this sounds rather Gomer/wicker to me. And didn't she also used to do Dances with Wolves, too? Abomination!!!
I'm not sure what you mean by "do Dances with Wolves" but it is one of my favorite movies, and the screen name is a nod to it.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 08:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I'm not sure what you mean by "do Dances with Wolves" but it is one of my favorite movies, and the screen name is a nod to it.
An appropriate enough move for the likes of you; main character starts the movie attacking Southerners whose only crime is protecting their civil liberties. Then, when wallowing in a orgy of Christian blood during the bloodiest war in American history isn’t enough for him, he heads off into the west, takes up with the Indians to help them slaughter helpless settlers. It is regrettable that Costner chose to delete the Missionary Scene form the movie but I suppose showing his character rapping and torturing a Preacher and his family do death would make the anti-Christian, Anti-American message too obvious.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 09:10 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
An appropriate enough move for the likes of you; main character starts the movie attacking Southerners whose only crime is protecting their civil liberties. Then, when wallowing in a orgy of Christian blood during the bloodiest war in American history isn’t enough for him, he heads off into the west, takes up with the Indians to help them slaughter helpless settlers. It is regrettable that Costner chose to delete the Missionary Scene form the movie but I suppose showing his character rapping and torturing a Preacher and his family do death would make the anti-Christian, Anti-American message too obvious.
You evidently didn't see the same Dances with Wolves I saw.
I saw a beautiful movie about a soldier who was so sick of killing that he was ready to die, who went west to see the frontier before it was gone, met the people who lived there, he and they overcame language and cultural differences to forge a friendship, they basically adopted him into the tribe, he fell in love, defended his newfound extended family against attack, and when he was later attacked, they came to his defense.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 09:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
You evidently didn't see the same Dances with Wolves I saw.
I saw a beautiful movie about a soldier who was so sick of killing that he was ready to die,.
Yes well that bit should have given the movie the title “Runs with the Chickens”. If Costner’s character had been less of a wuss and more of man he would have gone Jack Baur on those Confederate’s backsides and ended the entire American Civil War then and there. He would have been over that fence in slow motion with both guns blazing, karate kicking anything that moved. Instead, what does he do, rides back and forth begging them to shoot him because he has a boo boo on his leg.



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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Yes well that bit should have given the movie the title “Runs with the Chickens”. If Costner’s character had been less of a wuss and more of man he would have gone Jack Baur on those Confederate’s backsides and ended the entire American Civil War then and there. He would have been over that fence in slow motion with both guns blazing, karate kicking anything that moved. Instead, what does he do, rides back and forth begging them to shoot him because he has a boo boo on his leg.

I'd say that it was a bit more than a boo boo. I wonder how loud you would cry for mommy with a similar wound, about to have your foot sawn off with no anesthetic and knowing that you would likely lose what was left of your leg to gangrene anyway. It's easy to see why a quick death would have been preferable.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 09:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I'd say that it was a bit more than a boo boo. I wonder how loud you would cry for mommy with a similar wound, about to have your foot sawn off with no anesthetic and knowing that you would likely lose what was left of your leg to gangrene anyway. It's easy to see why a quick death would have been preferable.
How is death for a heathen preferable?

Please explain to me how HELL would ever be a good option?
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 09:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother V View Post
How is death for a heathen preferable?

Please explain to me how HELL would ever be a good option?
I don't see hell as an option since I don't believe that it exists.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-22-2007, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I don't see hell as an option since I don't believe that it exists.
Well isn't that nice for you? YOU don't believe hell exists, and so therefore it doesn't, right?

Little missy, you are going to be one surprised heathen when Jesus drop-kicks you down into hell. Whether you believe anything or not doesn't matter a bit to the reality of your fate. When your eyeballs boil and pop, when satan is ramming his razor blade encrusted tallywacker up your poop chute, when you are gagging on scalding hot bile, when all this is happening to you for all eternity.....then maybe you'll re-think your obstinate position. Praise Jesus.

Of course by then it will be far too late.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-23-2007, 04:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
When your eyeballs boil and pop, when satan is ramming his razor blade encrusted tallywacker up your poop chute, when you are gagging on scalding hot bile, when all this is happening to you for all eternity.....then maybe you'll re-think your obstinate position. Praise Jesus.

Of course by then it will be far too late.

Why are you people so consumed with fantasies about the size and shape of the private parts of imaginary creatures?
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-23-2007, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Why are you people so consumed with fantasies about the size and shape of the private parts of imaginary creatures?
So your theory is that satan has a tiny tallywacker like your homer husband's? I suppose you'll find out which of us is correct, but as I said, by then it will be too late for you. I wonder if your imagination is rich enough to fully comprehend the unspeakable pain and never ending agony that you will suffer in hellfire?

Accept Jesus now, before it is too late.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 12:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
So your theory is that satan has a tiny tallywacker like your homer husband's? I suppose you'll find out which of us is correct, but as I said, by then it will be too late for you. I wonder if your imagination is rich enough to fully comprehend the unspeakable pain and never ending agony that you will suffer in hellfire?

Accept Jesus now, before it is too late.
Since I believe Satan is imaginary, I'm not concerned about his penis.
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Default Re: Glendora's Locust Biscuits - 05-24-2007, 02:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Since I believe Satan is imaginary, I'm not concerned about his penis.
Jesus is very concerned about your language. Here at HIS favorite church, we avoid using the "P" word. Choo Choo, Tallywhacker, Seed Worm, or preferably Part A are much more acceptable. Please refer to our sex (forgive me Jesus) education guidelines at this link. HELPFUL MOTHER GLENDORA


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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