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Default Exorcising the demons from my wife's meat wallet. - 02-10-2016, 07:08 AM

So over the past few days I have been doing my Christian duty of seeding my wifes stench trench so that God will give us a son (Genesis 1:28), but sadly she is still not pregnant. I have seeded her 17 times over the past few days, and after I finish my Godly duties I go to my prayer closet, and ask God if she is pregnant. Everytime he says she isn't pregnant. Whenever I ask God why she isn't pregnant he refuses to answer.

I have reason to believe that she may have demons inside her baby cannon that are killing my sperm babies before they can impregnate her!


I've prayed to God, and tried to find Bible verses about removing demons from a womans beef curtain, but sadly I can't find an answer. I've considered just beating the demons out of her beared oyster with a paddle (Proverbs 23:14), but I'm afraid that I will break it, and she won't be able to make any babies.


Brothers, and sisters in christ how should I handle this situation? Should I just continue to pray, or should I take action, and find out how to perform an exorcism on my wife's baby cannon?


Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

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Default Re: Exorcising the demons from my wife's meat wallet. - 02-10-2016, 04:14 PM

I would suggest that you keep praying. My mother has told me (and my father has confirmed it) that women don't show signs of pregnancy immediately after they've been seeded. It will take some time (usually several weeks) before there are any signs that the seeding worked. Esther and I will be praying that your wife will soon be pregnant with a son.
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Default Re: Exorcising the demons from my wife's meat wallet. - 02-10-2016, 05:00 PM

I also say pray to God. He will tell you what you must do. For he is all knowing. Really she may need an exorcism I don't know.
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Default Re: Demons in my wife! - 02-13-2016, 01:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vessel of Christ View Post
...I have reason to believe that she may have demons inside her baby cannon...
Shit just got expensivecomplicated.

Quote:
...Should I just continue to pray...
If your prayers haven't been answered yet, how do know it's her and not you that's the problem?

James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

Maybe you're not fervent or righteous enough. What's your tithing status like?

Quote:
...or should I take action, and find out how to perform an exorcism on my wife's baby cannon?
Hey, now, that stuff's not for amateurs. Best give Pastor Zeke a call.

Oh, and your mortgage officer.


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