Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > False Religions and Cults
Reload this Page Women: keep your hands by your side and not in your pockets
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 02:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athiest FTW View Post
Well, I was just saying nice cause you got her good but yeah
Welcome to the forum. Now shut up.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
You've already been given scripture that tells you that the LORD your GOD finds it repulsive! That's reason enough!
Well you're a stick in the mud. Masturbation feels sooooo good!
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole View Post
Well you're a stick in the mud. Masturbation feels sooooo good!
You ought to spend some of that energy LEARNING TO SPELL!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Athiest FTW's Avatar
Athiest FTW Athiest FTW is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jan 2009
Athiest FTW is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Athiest FTW is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Athiest FTW is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Welcome to the forum. Now shut up.
For a pastor your awful pissy
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athiest FTW View Post
Well, I was just saying nice cause you got her good but yeah
Indeed I did.
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
Nurse Clampett's Avatar
Nurse Clampett Nurse Clampett is offline
Jesus's Favorite Nurse
Forum Member

True Christian Lady True Christian Beauty Bronze Tither Best Pie Cleanest Kitchen One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian True Scientist™ Jailed for JESUS 

 
Posts: 974
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Landover Basement
Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™Nurse Clampett is a True Christian™
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athiest FTW View Post
Well, I was just saying nice cause you got her good but yeah
So says the illerate atheist...
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Bob4God's Avatar
Bob4God Bob4God is offline
Moderator
Arms Dealer for CHRIST
Hands folded for Jesus
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '06 2008 Witch Hunt Award Silver Tither Real American™ Heaven Bound Home Schooled Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Ex-Gay Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Christian Love Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off 

 
Posts: 5,248
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: On the Straight and Narrow (Earthly location: Freehold, Iowa)
Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bob4God will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:05 AM

How can you be so shameless about your if-it-feels-good-do-it lifestyle? Think about the families you are destroying!



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
Athiest FTW's Avatar
Athiest FTW Athiest FTW is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 31
Join Date: Jan 2009
Athiest FTW is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Athiest FTW is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Athiest FTW is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Clampett View Post
So says the illerate atheist...
I did that so the that " I " becomes before "E"veryone who believes in ridiculous religions
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You ought to spend some of that energy LEARNING TO SPELL!
What did I misspell?
Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athiest FTW View Post
I did that so the that " I " becomes before "E"veryone who believes in ridiculous religions
Good idea. Watch this closely: nothing up my sleeves, and ET VOILA!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#31)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
How can you be so shameless about your if-it-feels-good-do-it lifestyle? Think about the families you are destroying!
How does my masturbation destroy families?
Reply With Quote
(#32)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole View Post
What did I misspell?
Back up a bit. Did YOU say you were bad at English......by which, since you say you can speak in complete sentences, I presume means spelling? Or did I dream it?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#33)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
You will go blind.
If I go blind it's because of genetics, not masturbation.
Reply With Quote
(#34)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Back up a bit. Did YOU say you were bad at English......by which, since you say you can speak in complete sentences, I presume means spelling? Or did I dream it?
Yes I said I'm bad at English.
Yes I said I can speak.
But when I talk I don't spell out each word. If I want to say "cat," I say "cat," not "C-A-T".
Reply With Quote
(#35)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole View Post
Yes I said I'm bad at English.
Yes I said I can speak.
But when I talk I don't spell out each word. If I want to say "cat," I say "cat," not "C-A-T".
What I am trying to ask politely, you dumb tart, is whether you have a learning disorder due to masturbation, or whether you are just too busy playing sticky finger to bother learning to spell?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#36)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 03:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
What I am trying to ask politely, you dumb tart, is whether you have a learning disorder due to masturbation, or whether you are just too busy playing sticky finger to bother learning to spell?
I sucked at spelling WAY before I even heard of the word masturbation. Masturbation has had no negative effects on me.
Reply With Quote
(#37)
Old
Countrymouse Countrymouse is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Feb 2009
Countrymouse is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 04:07 AM

First i must say im not atheist, I believe in Christ, and do try to follow his teachings....but you people.....are truly frightening. You try to scare people into believeing what you do through fearful threats of becomeing blind, being sent to hell, ect, and what this ultimitley makes all of you...are terrorists. For you english buffs, the definition of Terrorism is the systematic use of terror (imposing fear) to make people behave in an involuntary way. I find the little smiley of a mid eastern people being blown up very racist (not that it would bother any of you, most of you seem to be very racist) image of mid eastern people and incensitive, there are many inocent people dieing there, human lives you ignorant people. But i digress. In the end i don't really care what you people think of me or my life, call me trash, bastartd child, or any other fun names you people like to use. In the end I will be judged by the person who matters, and If he decides that i should not have treated all men and women as my equal, and should have feared every aspect of my life, then so be it. But really what scares me is that there are still people who think african americans should be slaves, women should know there place witch is under men, and think that.....masturbating will send you to hell.
Reply With Quote
(#38)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 04:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Countrymouse View Post
First i must say im not atheist, I believe in Christ, and do try to follow his teachings....but you people.....are truly frightening. You try to scare people into believeing what you do through fearful threats of becomeing blind, being sent to hell, ect, and what this ultimitley makes all of you...are terrorists. For you english buffs, the definition of Terrorism is the systematic use of terror (imposing fear) to make people behave in an involuntary way. I find the little smiley of a mid eastern people being blown up very racist (not that it would bother any of you, most of you seem to be very racist) image of mid eastern people and incensitive, there are many inocent people dieing there, human lives you ignorant people. But i digress. In the end i don't really care what you people think of me or my life, call me trash, bastartd child, or any other fun names you people like to use. In the end I will be judged by the person who matters, and If he decides that i should not have treated all men and women as my equal, and should have feared every aspect of my life, then so be it. But really what scares me is that there are still people who think african americans should be slaves, women should know there place witch is under men, and think that.....masturbating will send you to hell.
Thats great, that really is.
Reply With Quote
(#39)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 04:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Countrymouse View Post
women should know there place witch is under men, and think that.....masturbating will send you to hell.
Great! Now we have two of you from the same school.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#40)
Old
Nicole's Avatar
Nicole Nicole is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 65
Join Date: Feb 2009
Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Nicole is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Women Masturbating - 02-22-2009, 04:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Great! Now we have two of you from the same school.
We don't go to the same school.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
slutpocalypse, women are unclean

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2015 all rights reserved