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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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09-22-2006, 01:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith
So...Mrs R? Is it true that's because TC men believe that proximity to cleaning products will cause...um..vital..bits of their anatomy to drop off?
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No, it is because God so ordered it.
Leviticus 15:19 And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. 15:20 And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.
15:21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:22 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:23 And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
15:24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean. Sex with menstruating women
A man who has sex with a menstruating woman "shall be unclean seven days." But in Lev.20:18 God says that such a man and his menstruating partner "shall be cut off from among their people." Which is the correct punishment?
15:25 And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.
15:26 Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.
15:27 And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:28 But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.
15:29 And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
15:30 And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness.
15:31 Thus shall ye separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness; that they die not in their uncleanness, when they defile my tabernacle that is among them.
15:32 This is the law of him that hath an issue, and of him whose seed goeth from him, and is defiled therewith;
15:33 And of her that is sick of her flowers, and of him that hath an issue, of the man, and of the woman, and of him that lieth with her that is unclean.
I assume every True Christian female has this section of the Holy Bible committed to memory.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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09-22-2006, 03:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith
So...Mrs R? Is it true that's because TC men believe that proximity to cleaning products will cause...um..vital..bits of their anatomy to drop off?
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Why would any real man go near anything so effeminate as household cleaning products? Assuredly you must notice the sorry house keeping the all male crews of those Ukrainian ships you “visit”.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
True Christian™
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Posts: 636
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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09-22-2006, 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Why would any real man go near anything so effeminate as household cleaning products? Assuredly you must notice the sorry house keeping the all male crews of those Ukrainian ships you “visit”.
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So true, Brother. Cleaning, doing dishes, etc. is women's work. God created women to be submissive and to serve men and cleaning and all that is part of being submissive.
Colossians 3:18: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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09-22-2006, 06:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike
I've already tithed the chaperone fee ($200) via paypal, when Pastor Pistle gets here we'll organize something.
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Are we going on a date?! Oh my God I haven't been on a date since....wow....since MK! I have to see if Thumper will go shopping with me for a proper dress to wear. I could also bring you some cherry pie if you'd like.
Moon
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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09-23-2006, 11:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Are we going on a date?! Oh my God I haven't been on a date since....wow....since MK! I have to see if Thumper will go shopping with me for a proper dress to wear. I could also bring you some cherry pie if you'd like.
Moon
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I took the liberty of sewing you this lovely little number.
The purple will compliment your dark hair. I'm going to have to give you a good shampooing and of course give you a hair style to flatter the dress before you go out.
How did the pies turn out?
With love, Sister Thumper
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-25-2006, 08:20 PM
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!!!!
*hugs Thumper*
Oh sister thumper thank you so much! You know how much I LOOOOVE flower designs! Did you make the cute little bonnet too??
Now to find shoes for that adorable little dress...
Moon
PS - The pies are in the fridge. Mikey hasn't responded yet...I'm sure SS scared him away.
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:09 AM
Got Jesus?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:18 AM
Well, what kind do you like, love? I made Key Lime, Cherry, Apple, Peach Cobbler, and a yummy Chocolate Fudge Pie. If you'd like I could just bring a sampler??
So...when should we get together?? *blushes* Sister Thumper was kind enough to make me a beautiful dress to wear. *blushes even more*
Ok, I gtg, my tummy hurts....
*runs away*
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Well, what kind do you like, love? I made Key Lime, Cherry, Apple, Peach Cobbler, and a yummy Chocolate Fudge Pie. If you'd like I could just bring a sampler??
So...when should we get together?? *blushes* Sister Thumper was kind enough to make me a beautiful dress to wear. *blushes even more*
Ok, I gtg, my tummy hurts....
*runs away*
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Moon I have organized a chaperone from the Church, we can meet at the Church Cafeteria, I have a temporary pass for you. This Saturday sound good? (Any pie you like will be fine I like them all)
Got Jesus?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike
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Awww man...I gotta wait till Saturday? We could always go to Bible Study together, I don't break out in cold sweats or vomit anymore at the sight of a Bible, so I think that would be perfect!
With all her love,
Moon
PS - you only bought one pass for me??
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Awww man...I gotta wait till Saturday? We could always go to Bible Study together, I don't break out in cold sweats or vomit anymore at the sight of a Bible, so I think that would be perfect!
With all her love,
Moon
PS - you only bought one pass for me??
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Well I'm at Bible Study when I'm not out hunting vermin or ministering to homers you know where to find me
I'll see if any of the homers I minister to have any cash on them, I might be able to buy you another pass to come to Church. Unless you have an extra $400 on you.
Got Jesus?
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:47 AM
Brother Mike, forewarned is forearmed. When Moon was my daughter we did some DNA testing and (makes sure no one is listening)
she is part Venezuelan.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Brother Mike, forewarned is forearmed. When Moon was my daughter we did some DNA testing and (makes sure no one is listening)
she is part Venezuelan.
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I though I was..... Cuban
You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 12:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Brother Mike, forewarned is forearmed. When Moon was my daughter we did some DNA testing and (makes sure no one is listening)
she is part Venezuelan.
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Ewwwwww...
She will have to tithe extra for that.
Got Jesus?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 01:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike
Well I'm at Bible Study when I'm not out hunting vermin or ministering to homers you know where to find me
I'll see if any of the homers I minister to have any cash on them, I might be able to buy you another pass to come to Church. Unless you have an extra $400 on you.
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Hunting?.... As long as I don't see them dead, it's ok. I'll pass by the church. I'd hate for you to have to borrow money from the homers...or ME. Don't you worry your cute little TC head...I'll show up and bring food so we could have a little picnic.
With all her love,
Moon
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother_Mike
Ewwwwww...
She will have to tithe extra for that.
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You pray...I dance naked in the forest
Last edited by MoonFlower; 09-26-2006 at 01:05 AM.
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True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 104
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IOWA Ministry: Promise Enforcers, H.A.T.E. Ministry
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-26-2006, 01:15 AM
See you there
Got Jesus?
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
08-31-2007, 08:24 PM
I just thought I would bump this thread. I've seen a lot of unsaved whores on the board lately and I'm sure they could use this information.
L ve, Sister Thumper
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-01-2007, 01:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower
Like I've said a million and one times before...I SHAVE ALL MY BODY HAIR (except for my head) TO PREVENT FLEAS. And, just in case you haven'ty heard...I TITHE TO LANDOVER EVERY SUNDAY (if not Pa'daddy will come to my Sycamore and beat me silly).
So, now that I tithe AND shave, what's my next move Mikey? I'm already going to start my Bible Studies ™ ® and Healings™ ® with Lar baby.
Moon
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Ewww you get fleas in your body hair? EW.
Anyways, any woman who thinks like this is degrading herself.
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True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-01-2007, 01:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poison__x
Ewww you get fleas in your body hair? EW.
Anyways, any woman who thinks like this is degrading herself.
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Yeah.. I suppose you want women to be masculine looking, buff, and hairy all over:
So you cannot notice that it's actually a woman and not a man unless she takes off her clothes.
Jesus pukes at your depravity!
Gender confusion is straight from satan!
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 09-01-2007 at 01:14 AM.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 174
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-01-2007, 08:56 AM
I didn't say there was something wrong with shaving, in fact, I prefer it. I simply was commenting that you have low personal hygiene if you get fleas in your body hair.
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