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Reload this Page I Despise Tourists in NYC
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Default I Despise Tourists in NYC - 10-04-2017, 03:41 PM

Any red blooded American male will find this disgusting.

Godless NYC is a haven for tourists and many of them are downright annoying. They will ask you for directions when there are maps available everywhere, stop in the middle of busy sidewalks to take selfies, and dress like whores and pimps thinking it will make them more "New York." But anyway...

I was walking past the venerable Trump Tower, to which I always bow in reverence to our dear president. I heard a guy say, "Why do they have those stupid military guys guarding the door? What's Trump afraid of?" Well, I almost dropped my Sabrett hot dog with extra mustard. I turned to this guy and said, "Look, you half breed Alabama white trash Joo boy! Our President's tower deserves our respect and protection. Everyone wants a piece of him and our illustrious and brave military is ensuring that Donald has a home to come back to if he ever decides that he doesn't want to be our leader any longer. Go back to wherever it is you came from and leave us alone." I did this in the Name of Jesus, because we are to be welcoming and kind to strangers just as Lot was in the days of Sodom and Tomorrow.

People were looking at me in derision (they were also obviously tourists) as if I was being mean, but I couldn't help it. The sight of those tough, burly men in their uniforms, their weapons in hand and at the ready as they protect the erection that bears our president's name stirs something within my loins and fills me with pride.

Gentlemen, was I wrong? Am I being too sensitive? It just made me want to slap them.


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Default Re: I Despise Tourists in NYC - 10-05-2017, 12:07 AM

They're just jealous, Brother. And you gave them something REAL to be jealous of! The Light of Christ in your Life!

Glory!


\0/


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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