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Reload this Page Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons
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View Poll Results: Which Module do you want to play?
Escape from the Synogogue of Satan 16 57.14%
Deep in the depths of StarbucksStan 3 10.71%
The Campus of Doom 3 10.71%
Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors 10 35.71%
Other (See comments) 0 0%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-06-2014, 12:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Did she pick me back up before that? Do I take another 1d6?
No, you passed a saving roll. You must have landed on a non-vital bodypart, like your head.

Anyway, Zeke has loaned the party his old Learjet, and after a very long pat-down of Alphose, (should we make up names or would that just be too confusing?) you lift off, on your quest to the Synogogue of Satan. It's a very long flight, since we live in the middle of Real America, where salt-of-the earth patriots live by the sweat of their brow, unlike Jew York with it's slick, swindling elitist conspiracy. Time to teach those parasitic intellectuals, those unpatriotic, rootless cosmopolitans, that work will set you free.

TheLittleBoy (who is not actually a zombie, Jesus is the only undead creature in the game) seems to like fresh air, he thought he could sit on the wing. He falls on the runway, losing 20 hit points, which should kill him but a successful constitution saving roll means he survives, paralized, on the runway.

I guess he thought all those fancy items could save him. But they were cheap Chinese knock-offs, since of course no first-level character would be able to afford that stuff. And don't say you inherited them, under Obama's communist dictatorship, the enterprising American dream of inheriting a fortune rugged-individual-style has been killed by death taxes.

By swallowing ants that crawl into his mouth, he recovers one hit point. But here come the crows....

Meanwhile at JFK International Airport, named after a previous president guilty of treason, the party is split up, lost in a crowd formed by the uncontrollable flood of muslim immigrants.

What do you do? What do you do?


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 07-10-2014 at 03:54 PM.
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-06-2014, 01:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Meanwhile at JFK International Airport, named after a previous president guilty of treason, the party is split up, lost in a crowd formed by the uncontrollable flood of muslim immigrants.

What do you do? What do you do?[/I]
We are stronger together. I must find by brethren. I am armed with my KJV and I seek for advice there.

John 13:35
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.


Now I know! I ask the men of Jew York if they love me, and those who love must be my Brethren.

Matthew 7:7
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:


I must knock at doors. My Brethren must be behind them.

I am also worried. I try to munch a ham sandwich while walking the mooslimed corridors. The adversary is a cunning one.

Revelation 2:9
I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan.


There are too many mooselimbs. I am waning. I wave my KJV and the ham sandwich frantically.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-07-2014, 02:43 PM

Race: American
Class: True Christian™

What did I win?


Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
Follow me on Twitter or burn in Hell for all eternity!

To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-07-2014, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
What do you do? What do you do?[/I]
I do my best to hide all the fruits and cutlery from airport security I pickpocketed (as per my racial features) from the modest pastoral Learjet.

Immediately I start looking for opportunities to satisfy my 2 basic needs, getting my semen fix and to steal an apple pie from a window sill.

(I'm fine by being Nigra Alphonse for the means of the game)
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-07-2014, 04:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Due to his ever-diligent application of top-quality antiperspirant, no, but around his neck is a cross so impressive it makes Flava-Flav's neckware look downright dainty. It's made from a metal so valuable, the place that mines it uses platinum as packing peanuts.

With a voice like thunder, he says:

"Patriots, in the far away land of the People's Republic of DesMoinstan, in that sweltering urban jungle, deep in that moist and humid nether-region, lurks a secret that must be uncovered. Hidden in ACORN HQ is a stolen Ballot Box that proves Sarah Palin, and therefore Jesus, won the 2008 election. Also Obama's Kenyan birth certificate. And his Iraqi birth certificate also. These artifacts must be recovered, if you fail the world will be destroyed. By which I mean America will be destroyed, and probably also some parts of Canada, since they're mostly downhill from us. Win and the universe is saved. Also, you'll get 200 Experience points, so you'll probably level up."

Edit: A note about races: Dwarves are not allowed, because God hates them. (Leviticus 21:17-23) Oompa-Loompas are okay, I guess. Monsterous races are okay, but until I get used to this game let's stick to monsters that are Biblically proven to exist in real life.

A note about classes: You don't have to be wealthy to be an adventurer. A level 1 "Blue Collar" gets $50 an hour or whatever minimum wage is, plus you get extra thief skills (because you've gotten practise stealing from your employer).

Can i be a post apolypitic mutant? I always wanted to play a mutant! Or some other kind of cross-breed. Maybe a nephalim? They're biblically true!


Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-07-2014, 04:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
There are too many mooselimbs. I am waning. I wave my KJV and the ham sandwich frantically.
A darkie sees your ham sandwich, and, thanks to the powers in his Nike Sneakers of Uncanny Dexterity +2, grabs it from you and swallows it whole.

"That ain't enough!" he hollars.

The crowd starrts chanting. "Just say no to inadequate welfare payments!"

"You call this reparations, bee-eye-atch?" A mob starts to form, as they use noise to work themselves into a frenzy.

The Mob will probably deal 2d6 of damage per round if someone doesn't stop them. But where is everybody? What are they doing?

Nigra Alphose is probably in the crowd somewhere, but it's hard to tell since they all look the same.

A crow has landed a critical hit on The LittleBoy's left eyeball, picking it right out. Another crow fights with it, inflicting 1 hit point of damage on crow #1. It drops the eyeball, which rolls onto an anthill.


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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 08-21-2014 at 09:09 AM.
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 07-07-2014, 05:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
A darkie sees your ham sandwich, and, thanks to the powers in his Nike Sneakers of Uncanny Dexterity +2, grabs it from you and swallows it whole.

"That ain't enough!" he hollars.

The crowd starrts chanting. "Just say no in inadequate welfare payments!"

"You call this reparations, bee-eye-atch?" A mob starts to form, as they use noise to work themselves into a frenzy.
I shall NOT surrender. The ham sandwich failed me but I have the final weapon.



I start to PRAY that my enemies scatter!

Psalms 59:9
Because of his strength will I wait upon thee: for God is my defence.

Psalms 59:11
Slay them not, lest my people forget: scatter them by thy power; and bring them down, O Lord our shield.


At least I am at peace, come what may!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
How to teach children FACTS not FICTION! Show them how God CREATES new animals! Make them FEAR God!
Never EVER
allow life support or CPR !
Help me SAVE THE WORLD and find NEW SOLDIERS for Jesus!
Follow my adventures in Godless France: Day 1 (cavities), Day 2 (cat licks), Day 3 (Turd of France), Day 4 (Answered prayers).
Dolphins are 'cute' but they are also HOMOSEXUALS CORRUPTED by SATAN!
The TRUTH about 'homeopathy'.
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Default Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors - 07-08-2014, 09:04 AM

Quote:
Having checked out what happens in a ghetto (& noted how shininess is often almost always invariably not associated with dissociated from antipong) I now feel able to tick-a-box in the poll and to be honest it's probably best not to look at the heads during research in this area.
Race:.......... Human-hybrid.............. Genesis 6:2
Class:......... 0......................... Galatians 3:28
Alignment:..... Costumes and adornment.... II Kings 22:14
Profession:.... Good before many witnesses I Timothy 6:12
Powers:........ Taste..................... Hebrews 6:5
Items of Power: ...........................Job 6:30
Weapons:....... Paddles................... Deuteronomy 23:13
Armor:......... Non-carnality............. II Corinthians 10:4





Emerging from the ghetto and failing to identify Mr Alban by behavioural profile I spot a trustworthy face.

Although frightened by the noise and some unusual herbal fragrances (especially in the light of my recent enquiries where ideas never occurring to me before were explained in excessive detail) I manage to crawl unnoticed towards this [possible] rock through an ocean of unexpected vigour.

Just as I'm about to stand up, having identified my quarry by footwear, a most peculiar aroma suffuses the air at ground level and I feel as though I am falling.

..A descent into The Maelström.

. . Electric shocks and echoes.
In desperation I cling to the solidly contructed boot hoping that it leads me like the gentle zephyr out from this abyss and sails me to the light once more.

__________________

1. I am willing to allow that any unexpected contact was not intentional.
2. click here for image of the boot I clung to
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 08-21-2014, 09:07 AM

Sorry for not keeping up, I might have bitten off more than I can chew. If anyone else wants to be SM, please volunteer now.

I think I've lost inspiration due to the negativity, all the focus on, well, sleasepits and sinners.

Anyone want to play Heavenhalls And Halos? It's basically the same, only set in heaven, and similar heavenly places. A good starting campaign is Zeke's Summer Retreat, and I'm willing to lend the hardcover edition. Be sure to bring a lugguge lifter when you come get it, because it's pretty heavy. It's got as many pages as the actual bible, after all. Here's the map:



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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 08-22-2014, 01:11 AM

I want in!


Race: Very White

Class: Temporarily Embarassed Millionaire


Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 09-11-2014, 12:49 PM

The idea is to stay as far from Hell as possible
Not to see how close we can get without being burned
It could be that a 'good' RPG is plausible
Yet, not likely from the lessons that I've learned
There's too much danger in these games for the likes of me
I'm afraid from all such wicked things the only answer is to flee



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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 11-17-2014, 09:28 PM

I'm joining in.

Race: White
Class: Spellcaster?
Alignment: Chaotic Good
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Straight 4 His Love Straight 4 His Love is offline
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Thumbs up Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 11-18-2014, 04:28 AM

An ingenious idea, brother! This could be an excellent opportunity for me to practice GODLY heterosexuality!

Race: Pure Nordic

Class: A Real Man's Man–with the least amount of homer by volume possible. So, something like this I guess:



Except covered in King James Bible verses in war paint. And with way more muscle, leather straps, and seething rage for the abomination of sin.


If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. – John 8:36
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Quentin W (On Moderation) Quentin W is offline
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 04-23-2015, 05:30 PM

I shall join this noble quest!

Race: Eldritch Abomination
Class: Vendor
Alignment: Slightly Holy, follows a path of righteous redemption!
Weapon:

Description: A 7 foot tall, bipedal creature with mighty wings, any unholy people who gaze upon him go insane, the head of an octopus, a coat brimming with items to purchase. Can produce food from seemingly nowhere as an added bonus.

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kussarojam kussarojam is offline
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 04-30-2015, 08:28 PM

Aw, this is dead. Such a shame, this looked promising...
Maybe Elmer, GOD=Life, or one of the other True Christians could pick this back up again?
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dummifluidSwill dummifluidSwill is offline
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Jesus' eternal love Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 05-02-2015, 02:26 AM

Race: Swiss
Class: Eskimo
Alignment: Socialist
Weapon: blubber
Armor: Cheese


Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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Quentin W (On Moderation) Quentin W is offline
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 05-09-2015, 06:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kussarojam View Post
Aw, this is dead. Such a shame, this looked promising...
Maybe Elmer, GOD=Life, or one of the other True Christians could pick this back up again?
Why don't we continue it? Us against them, their "God" against whatever we believe in...

Example:

The party notices a large, hunchbacked creature rise from a dark section of the many alleyways of New York. It is Quel'Thon, the Guardian of Currency and he can smell the wealth on them gang in front of them.

Cranky and Mary attempt to shield their pockets, but a d24 success roll makes the spare change and $$$$ fly out of their jackets and Mary's deep purse. The total amount is $40.32

Quel'Thon then disappears from the mortal relam, but not before forcing Alphose to regurgitate a single penny.
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 08-21-2015, 02:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
Who here wants to play Sleasepits And Sinners™, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons?

Instead of goblins and orcs we face sinners. Instead of magic spells we use prayer.

Don't worry, you won't need to roll dice or do any elitist math. As the SpM (Sleasepit Master) I'll take care of all that for you. You just tell me what your character wants to do and I'll tell you what happens.

Here are some modules we can play:
  1. Escape from the Synogogue of Satan
  2. Deep in the depths of StarbucksStan
  3. The Campus of Doom
  4. Journey to the Ghetto of Terrors

We'll start playing right away, the first thing you do is choose your race and class.
Race: Human
Class: Artificer
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Default Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 08-21-2015, 04:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The new guy View Post
Race: Human
Class: Artificer
I leave my house, see you guys and run to you, asking what you're doing.
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Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is online now
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Prayer Re: Let's play Sleasepits And Sinners, the Christian alternative to Dungeons and Dragons - 08-21-2015, 04:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The new guy View Post
I leave my house, see you guys and run to you, asking what you're doing.
Mr. Guy,

Thank you for asking. This game was discontinued a year ago and we've been concentrating on more urgent issues, especially praying and Worship. Had you read a few previous posts in this thread you'd probably have noticed that. We recommend that you join us in praising God and Jesus!



1 Thessalonians 3:10
Night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face, and might perfect that which is lacking in your faith?


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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