Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 12:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord
You are lucky I am not a moderator here or I would ban you right now for posting Satanic gibberish. We speak American here as that is GOD's favorite language, we do not use nipspeak here.
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Merely translating a question about his honor, and telling him to get his friend a hobby.... And of course putting a verse from the most Holy KJV1611 bible that he can understand. Sorry if it offends.....
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 01:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Dr. Davidson
あなたはなぜ質問に答えませんか? あなたの友人は常に欲情しないために趣味を必要としています。
あなたの名誉〔尊敬〕はどこにありますか?
賛美歌137:1 バビロンの川のそばで、そこで、私たちはダウン(肯定)を受けて、シオン〔イスラエル人〕を覚えていた時、 泣きました。
The above 137:1 is in reference to Psalms 137:1
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okay this is sound stupid in my language. may be is translation or may be is bible I am not know. AND is not very helping. I am get better wisdom by open cracker jack box or fortune cookie.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 02:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
okay this is sound stupid in my language. may be is translation or may be is bible I am not know. AND is not very helping. I am get better wisdom by open cracker jack box or fortune cookie.
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Did you just refer to this Godly forum as a box of crackers? I am disgusted at the racism shown by the Godless little gook Japaninny thing.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 02:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Did you just refer to this Godly forum as a box of crackers? I am disgusted at the racism shown by the Godless little gook Japaninny thing.
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That's like a proud computer programmer saying 'I am disgusted by electronic gadgets'.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 01-23-2007 at 02:39 AM.
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 02:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
That's like a proud computer programmer saying 'I am disgusted by electronic gadgets'.
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or is same like you saying 'I am disgusted by vibrating electronic gadgets.' you need real man honey.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Location: Red Peking
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 02:58 AM
I think you miss the point, Hitoshi.
With regards to your friend, print out this picture and have him look at it until he doesn't feel horny anymore.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 03:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
or is same like you saying 'I am disgusted by vibrating electronic gadgets.' you need real man honey.
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I don't know what's considered appropriate over there in Japan, but here in America we do not discuss "real man honey" in the company of ladies!
FOR SHAME!
Edit: After seeing your followup, Van Hornswoggle, that goes DOUBLE . . . no, TRIPLE for you!
Last edited by OnYourKnees; 01-23-2007 at 03:01 AM.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 06:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
first respect please. am I call you white gorilla? no! please no yellow monkey. RESPECT please.
second I am start thread for advice for friend who is too much horny. I am not start thread for advice on how become fat American. If I want become fat American I start eat sloppy joe and make inferior electronic product and car. ANYONE can be like american. only people who are have discipline can be like Japanese.
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Dear Hibachi. I apologize for disrespecting yellow monkeys by calling you one. I have no excuse except that I was in a hurry because I was cold. You see, there is a little nip in the air. Where was I? OK, I remember, we were discussing your sicko friend, Honto Bugpecker. I understand why he is horny and I am going to explain it to you. He's a gay caballero and he is trying to give you the clue that he wants you to be his girlfriend.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Apostle of the North
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Posts: 11,870
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
I think you miss the point, Hitoshi.
With regards to your friend, print out this picture and have him look at it until he doesn't feel horny anymore.
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Ms. van Hellswinger
I'll have you remember that this is a Christian forum. Please peddle your ware elsewhere.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 10:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish
Ms. van Hellswinger
I'll have you remember that this is a Christian forum. Please peddle your ware elsewhere.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees
Edit: After seeing your followup, Van Hornswoggle, that goes DOUBLE . . . no, TRIPLE for you!
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Bah. That's something I found with google image search. If you googled the same search string you'd find the same thing.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Bah. That's something I found with google image search. If you googled the same search string you'd find the same thing.
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That's the difference, my dear.
Whatever search string you googled, I would not.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 05:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Bah. That's something I found with google image search. If you googled the same search string you'd find the same thing.
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Hey, it's true! Try googling "Rachael Van Helsing", everyone!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 06:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Hey, it's true! Try googling "Rachael Van Helsing", everyone!
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okay this is funny joke but point of thread is for help hornyness. everyone is try to be funny and not take serious my thread. Name of thread is 'my friend is have more problem' not 'baptist landover comedy show time for everyone make joke'. there is joke thread in lounge area for joke okay. GET WITH PROGRAM AND SERIOUSLY NEED GET SERIOUS! total ridiculous!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 06:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
there is joke thread in lounge area for joke okay.
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Then why aren't you posting in it? Everyone knows GOD just made Nippongo dogs for us to laugh at, anyway.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Apostle of the North
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Posts: 11,870
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Then why aren't you posting in it?
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Because he's yellow? *snicker*
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
okay this is funny joke but point of thread is for help hornyness. everyone is try to be funny and not take serious my thread. Name of thread is 'my friend is have more problem' not 'baptist landover comedy show time for everyone make joke'. there is joke thread in lounge area for joke okay. GET WITH PROGRAM AND SERIOUSLY NEED GET SERIOUS! total ridiculous!
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OK, so your friend has a problem because he's horny. Why doesn't he become a True Christian, then get a wife? A good, Christian wife would submit to him sexually upon his demand.
Here, let me put that in words you might more easily understand:
Quote:
Doesn't he why does not become true Christian, and obtain the wife? It is good, the wife of Christianity in that request the embankment is present sexually in him.
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Then why aren't you posting in it? Everyone knows GOD just made Nippongo dogs for us to laugh at, anyway.
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just as like GOD made your private area for all woman to laught at
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees
OK, so your friend has a problem because he's horny. Why doesn't he become a True Christian, then get a wife? A good, Christian wife would submit to him sexually upon his demand.
Here, let me put that in words you might more easily understand:
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okay this is advice very good. may be is landover lady who is like for help my friend? no fatty and must be willing for move to Japan when he is finish school.
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Rock Worshipper
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,083
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Location: Flat Rock, MN
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:18 PM
Look you buck-tooth slant-eyed rice eater....
First you ask for help and then you insult the people who are trying to help you. Just the type of behaviour to be expected from the lying nip.
First, apologise for your behavior; second speak nicely and not in your usual gibberish; third, HIT THE PAYPAL BUTTON!
Then you will get your answers. That's what I did and I have never regret a moment.
SF
I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 07:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
just as like GOD made your private area for all woman to laught at
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Our Private Area is private! No women (or homers) allowed!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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