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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-14-2010, 05:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley
Summer should be for working! All kids should be forced to get jobs over the summer, how else are they to grow up and be functioning members of society? If you ask me the number one reason for America's downfall is because we don't force children to work. Why just today I went outside my house and the neighbor kids had set up a Slip 'n Slide in their front yard. These future Democrats were Slippin' and Slidin' all over the place and THERE WAS NO ACCOUNTABILITY!
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Brother, you have the right of it. Back when our founding fathers envisioned compulsory education for the masses ( so they could read the Bible), the school year was established with summer off so that children could assist with farming chores. In our formerly agrarian society, it was understood that children were, first and foremost, economic units. They spent their summers laboring to grow crops (which were going to feed them during the rest of the year) and did not waste valuable time galivanting, willy-wallying or hooting at any nannies. Children worked! Summer was for field labor, Winter for hauling firewood and spinning, weaving, sewing etc, at the same time as studying.
Children today are accesories to their parents' vanity. They do no work. They are not taught proper morals or guilt or how to glorify the Lord. They are dressed up and dragged around to sporting or musical events so parents can show up the other parents with their children's "accomplishments."
As to the original theme about summer-- children are allowed to engage in indulgent play and eat endulgent food --ice cream. Women wear clothes that display more skin than they cover and men are tempted to go tieless!
Back to the fields for summer, I say! Bible tent meetings and lemonade are all the indulgence needed. Summer sin, indeed!
Righteously Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 04:53 AM
11. Dressing like a dog in heat (as said by the GODLY Mel Gibson, not me) will get you raped by a pack of nigras. It will be your fault and you will deserve it.
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 09:03 AM
Thankfully it's winter in wretched New Zealand, but this thread had reminded me of a common summer danger ...
12. The Beach. Many dangers are found near the sea, too many to list. But here is a selection:
The wanton display that is beach volleyball; a mating ritual which involves much jiggling and exposed flesh.
The disgustingly named body boarding (sometimes known as boogie boarding): I have no idea what body boarding entails to be perfectly honest, but it sounds dreadful.
The beach puts children's salvation at risk also: building sandcastles is a pointless, time-wasting exercise -- Christian children would be better off spending their time contemplating the following verses:
Matthew 7:25-27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
The depravity which is half-burying people in sand, and using sand to build a body on top of the buried person -- usually consisting of huge bosoms, and enormous tallywhackers. Very popular among those sinners who have been drinking heavily, and perhaps have a touch of sunstroke.
Perhaps the worst danger is -- may GOD forgive me for being graphic here -- the indignity of getting sand up the crack of one's backside. Personally I have NEVER experienced this, and am a loss as to how one would get sand in such a personal area; I have a theory though that some sinners are so addicted to exfoliation that it becomes a sort of fetish for them, and not content with exfoliating only their face and inoffensive body parts, they rub sand upon their nether regions.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 11:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
The disgustingly named body boarding (sometimes known as boogie boarding): I have no idea what body boarding entails to be perfectly honest, but it sounds dreadful.
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You're Right, Mrs Rogers, it Certainly does.
I prefer President Bush's favorite sport: Waterboarding
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 03:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
1. Public Pools! They can cause pregnancy. True Christian women should never get in them past their knees. Public pools also spread the AIDS. Come to think of it JUST STAY OUT of them.
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The high levels of chlorine in public pools would kill any sperm that might have been released into the water.
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2. Sun Screen. Putting sunscreen on your self or others. Often the rubbing on of sun screen will cause arousal in you or the person you are putting it on (even children). This often leads to fornication or self abuse from M'ing.
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Only if you're rubbing it on your privates.
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3. Sun Dresses. As a woman I know that wearing a cute sun dress in the sweltering is not only fashionable, it's down right comfortable. BUT did you know that perverted men are just dying to get a peek of your legs and arms! Just the sight of ankles or bare arms can send some men in to a sexshual frenzy causing them to M for hours on end fantasizing about YOU. This will send YOU BOTH TO HELL. YOU will be the one who caused him to "sin in his heart".
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If bare ankles and arms are enough to send a guy over the edge, he really needs to get a life.
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 03:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God
And here's what just gets my goat: NOWHERE in the Constitution does it say kids should be allowed to not work all summer. NOWHERE.
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Nowhere does it say that they should be forced to either.
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GALS 4 GOD Guidance Counseler Expert at baking, sewing, and rebuking unsaved scum
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Posts: 2,619
Join Date: May 2010
Location: At all times between Genesis and Revelation
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 03:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tchoupitoulas
Nowhere does it say that they should be forced to either.
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Excuse me Greek person,
You may have comments to make on here, but how about you show a little common courtesy and make a post on the INTRODUCTION FORUM.
Please do it NOW.
YIC
Mrs.P.Wintersnow.
There's Jesus here,
Just see what He offers me....
Down here my sins forgiven,
Up there a home in heaven
Praise God, That's the way for me!!
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 03:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. P Wintersnow
Excuse me Greek person,
You may have comments to make on here, but how about you show a little common courtesy and make a post on the INTRODUCTION FORUM.
Please do it NOW.
YIC
Mrs.P.Wintersnow.
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The name isn't Greek, it's the name of a band of Mardi Gras Indians.
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,342
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 04:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tchoupitoulas
The name isn't Greek, it's the name of a band of Mardi Gras Indians.
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Mardi Gras as in the Latin for "fat Tuesday" indicating a day of indulgent behavior immediately prior to Ash Wednesday and the somber observation of Lent?
I'm not seeing any connection with Injuns of any kind Mr. Choup--toot-ass.
Inquiringly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 04:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
Thankfully it's winter in wretched New Zealand, [...]
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Are you sure? It's not just a cold summer or you're using other words (e.g. Fall and Autumn)?
Anyhoo, be that as it may, there are those who, encouraged by a slight rise in temperature, go wandering around in the wilderness, mountains, deserts, etc.
How many times does the Bible refer to people going on holiday simply to wander aimlessly? I'll tell you - Zero.
You should always have a purpose and that purpose is praising God. You can do that in your own home.
God made the Israelites wander for 40 years. Does anyone nowadays believe this was an extended hiking tour? No!
It was a hint for them to stay at home.
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 04:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
Mardi Gras as in the Latin for "fat Tuesday" indicating a day of indulgent behavior immediately prior to Ash Wednesday and the somber observation of Lent?
I'm not seeing any connection with Injuns of any kind Mr. Choup--toot-ass.
Inquiringly Yours,
Handmaiden
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Not Latin, French.
I'm not Catholic, so I don't do Lent - I just love going to Mardi Gras parades.
The Tchoupitoulas (pronounced chop-i-TOO-lus) aren't real Indians - they're New Orleans musicians. But they look great in breechcloths and feathers dancing their way through the French Quarter.
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 04:52 PM
Summertime brings carnivals and fairs. So BEWARE of these:
13. Corn Dogs. No self-respecting gentleman would let one of these homer loving things anywhere near his mouth.
I can't speak for the ladies, but men should avoid these at all costs.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Summertime brings carnivals and fairs. So BEWARE of these:
13. Corn Dogs. No self-respecting gentleman would let one of these homer loving things anywhere near his mouth.
I can't speak for the ladies, but men should avoid these at all costs.
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Everyone should definitely avoid the ones that come from the freezer case - they're full of preservatives and made from inferior quality meats.
Hebrew National Beef Franks, cooked in home-made cornbread batter, and served with a dab of brown mustard, however, are delicious.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:16 PM
You couldn't just by a decent American hot-dog?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
You couldn't just by a decent American hot-dog?
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Hebrew National is an American hot dog - the company is headquartered in New York City.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:28 PM
Well Excuuuse ME! I thought the hebrew nation was in Israel.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
Well Excuuuse ME! I thought the hebrew nation was in Israel.
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The Hebrew nation, such as it is, is in Israel.
Hebrew National Franks are kosher hot dogs made in New York.
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Fourm Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,266
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: On my way to Paradise
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tchoupitoulas
Everyone should definitely avoid the ones that come from the freezer case - they're full of preservatives and made from inferior quality meats.
Hebrew National Beef Franks, cooked in home-made cornbread batter, and served with a dab of brown mustard, however, are delicious.
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Of course they have inferior quality meats in them. Do you really think Hebrew National fills theres with Filet Mignon?
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Unsaved trash, firewater-gulping squaw
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Posts: 183
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod
Of course they have inferior quality meats in them. Do you really think Hebrew National fills theres with Filet Mignon?
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Filet mignon, no. But they also don't just stuff whatever bits are leftover from processing main cuts, plus whatever cartilage and organ meats can be boiled down into a skin and call it food, either.
It's not like anyone is dimb enough to think that a steady diet of hot dogs is good for you, even if they're the higher quality hot dogs.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: WARNING! Summer Can Send You to HELL -
07-15-2010, 05:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tchoupitoulas
Hebrew National Franks are kosher hot dogs made in New York.
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This is all messed-up. It's as bad as that "New York Texas Toast"
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