[Thaddeus Allerton]

In my anticipation of bringing home my ripened, beautiful, firm 15 year old bride, I rented a very nice 3 bedroom apartment last night, which will be a good starter home for the two of us and at least 3 sons. After morning services I started observing the 3 Mexicans I hired (for a pittance) moving in my furniture when I noticed a queer hanging around the front of the building. I observed this queer from behind the curtain of my bedroom window when I noticed 2 more queers arrive and all three went in the building. I come to find out that one of the queers lives in the apartment DIRECTLY BELOW ME. You cannot imagine my horror. I immediately called the buildings management office only to be told I was in an air tight lease for the next 13 months. My question here, Brothers and sisters, is can you beat the queer out of someone? I mean (hypothetically speaking) what if someone were to come from behind this queer with a tire iron and start unmercifully beating him with it within an inch of his life? Would this drive the queer out? The sooner I can get a solid answer, the better.

[Faith_Machine]

I would say a lot would depend on whether you have Christian love in your heart while you're administering the beating.

I wouldn't worry too much about having a gay neighbor, though. Those guys tend to be really fastidious about mowing their lawn and not over-filling their trash cans. The only real downside is if they play their techno music too loud.

[John Creeser]

The unfortunate thing about trying to beat the queer out of someone is that we have to follow secular laws.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

I think Brother Deaner did some time for something similar.

I would contact a senior Pastor and have them send you our Ex-Gay™ promo kit (complete with printed material and a 45 minute VHS explaining why they are going to hell). Then suit up (you don't want to catch the AID).



And go drop it off

We have many ex-gays here at Landover, make sure you point out the testimonials to your fag neighbors.

[Faith_Machine]

Well said, Brother John! There is nothing quite like a testimony from a former homosexual. You really see the practicing homosexual's eyes light up when they hear about how much better life can be if they abstain from sexual pleasure and physical intimacy or closeness with another human being and just focus on reading the Bible and praying!