Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Forum Member
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Posts: 574
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-10-2007, 06:41 AM
I'm engaged to be married soon to a fine, God-fearing girl from West Virginia. I know she'll be a fine wife as she doesn't know how to read. And you can be darn sure that I won't let her learn how to!
I sure wish she had a full set of teeth, though....
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-10-2007, 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by roserougesang
Broccoli isn't that bad, tastes better than croutons in my opinion.
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And who asked for your opinion?
Nobody, that's who, which may have something to do with the fact that you are a woman, and an unsaved one at that, who needs to disappear from God's favourite masculine forum double-quick!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baphomet
I don't see you doing any good for the world! And, as a matter of fact, she killed my abusive step-dad (who was practically the anti-christ)!
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What happened? Did he mistake her for a fellow homer and catch the AIDS off her?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-10-2007, 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Jingles
I'm engaged to be married soon to a fine, God-fearing girl from West Virginia. I know she'll be a fine wife as she doesn't know how to read. And you can be darn sure that I won't let her learn how to!
I sure wish she had a full set of teeth, though....
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Is it safe to presume you've done a check to make sure that you guys aren't brother and sister?
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-10-2007, 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Women need to shut up. I get tired of hearing that background yapping all the time. A man needs some quiet. Even the Holy Bible says that women should shut their pie hole around men.
All any woman really needs to say is "Yes sir!" most of the time. And maybe "How do you want your steak done?".
Thank you Brother E for bringing up this long overdue topic. And I'd like to compliment you on the way you keep Glendora in line.
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I bet a woman would beat the shit outta you. Let me guess, you dont have sex with women, they have sex with you? Thats if you even like women.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-10-2007, 10:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by freespeech
I bet a woman would beat the shit outta you.
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Put your money where your mouth is, Jewboy. How much do you bet? This could be a valuable new source of income for the Church coffers.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Unsaved Trash
Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-10-2007, 11:42 PM
Women should only ask how you want your steak cooked ONCE.
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Nasty and Mean-Spirited
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Posts: 564
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-11-2007, 11:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Hellion killed your step-dad? How many years did she get?
You are all going to hell for that alone, I hope you realize. Especially Matty.
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He was trying to kill me for protecting Matty. I got off with self defense. Besides, he didn't die.....immediately.......
"I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."
Moderatio est Figmentum
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Nasty and Mean-Spirited
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Posts: 564
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-13-2007, 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by callmeapatriot
Women should only ask how you want your steak cooked ONCE.
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Fags aren't allowed in the men's forum either, ya chippy...
"I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."
Moderatio est Figmentum
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-13-2007, 01:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion
Fags aren't allowed in the men's forum either, ya chippy...
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You wanna go back to quarantine bulldyke?
Accept Christ now! go bake a pie!!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Nasty and Mean-Spirited
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Posts: 564
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-13-2007, 09:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
You wanna go back to quarantine bulldyke?
Accept Christ now! go bake a pie!!
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What did I do?!
And I'm too full from dinner for pie.
"I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."
Moderatio est Figmentum
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-13-2007, 10:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion
What did I do?!
And I'm too full from dinner for pie.
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Hellion my dear, you are in the Men's room and you are being spoken to by a Pastor. Please don't make our men angry as they will take it out on the Ladies.
I think you'd better do as you're told and bake a Pie. If you've got any Nigras in your neighborhood you won't have to worry about eating it anyway.
Sorry Boys (and Pastors), I'm outta here too.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007 -
09-15-2007, 10:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion
What did I do?!
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Well, whatever you did, it certainly wasn't baking a pie! What's wrong with you people?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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