Aspies Play Nerf to Train for Combat

Regis Alexandrus

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Join Date: Dec 2014

Posts: 218
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Aspies Play Nerf to Train for Combat

05-19-2016, 02:10 PM

Nerf is played by many boys and girls, but Aspergians especially like to play it because they are training for combat to establish the kingdom of the Antichrist by killing every Christian man, woman, and child on sight without pity, mercy, or remorse.

They are planning sabotage missions against Freehold and this aspergirl, as they call themselves, is one of the enemy's top agents. We do not know her identity except that she is Canadian. What should Landover do to prepare for such attacks?

Revelation 19:15 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God."
Tags: toy terrorism, toys
Mary Etheldreda

Gushing for Jesus

Join Date: Sep 2011

Posts: 23634
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05-19-2016, 04:18 PM

Re: Aspies Play Nerf to Train for Combat

Originally posted by Regis Alexandrus View Post

What should Landover do to prepare for such attacks?

Nothing, dear. Why do you think Jesus would let Landover Baptist Church be attacked? We never let anyone into Freehold except for those who have been verified by the Department of Faith as having been genuinely Saved™. In this way, we can be assured that no indecency happens in the city limits. We even go so far as to outlaw pets lest Jesus accidentally step in some doo-doo whilst He tip-toes around, keeping us safe (Deuteronomy 23:12-14).

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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