The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED! |
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-17-2006, 09:35 PM
Psalm 58
1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-17-2006, 10:44 PM
Fine!
OK, Poets, just so you know, you may reline this already-perfect poetry above,
or you may condense, or emplace alternate metaphor; as to "update" (as if -that- were needed).
Fifty Godly Points for the best haiku version.
Negative fifty points for the worst Limerick form.
Ballad form is suggested for those Poets in Love with this Word.
Or, simple narrative form--that's allowed.
Neatness counts toward your soul's chances,
along with snowballs in hell if you "f" fup.
Peter
prefect
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-17-2006, 10:57 PM
I KNEW I recognized that horrid jap haiku in your work!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-17-2006, 11:06 PM
My love for you is like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
A poem of Love, by Sister Thumper
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-17-2006, 11:50 PM
No haiku in my work; no squint here.
It was encouragement for the Limey at
"Greetings, poetical Christianicles!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
<snip>
Although I hate all
Japs, I still find haikus to
Be somewhat pleasing.
<snap>
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Not a bad quasi-verse in itself; nearly epigrammatic,
I daresay, haw haw
Peter
haw-haw ing
like a lord
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-17-2006, 11:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
No haiku in my work; no squint here.
It was encouragement for the Limey at
"Greetings, poetical Christianicles!"
Not a bad quasi-verse in itself; nearly epigrammatic,
I daresay, haw haw
Peter
haw-haw ing
like a lord
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Obviously a Brit. No one else would understand that reference.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-18-2006, 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Psalm 58
1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.
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Hmmm...
Break their teeth O LORD, break their teeth O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, break their teeth O LORD.
Melt their snails O LORD, melt their snails O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, melt their snails and melt their snails and break their teeth O LORD.
Cut their bows O LORD, cut their bows O LORD, before your pots can feel the thorns, cut their bows and melt their snails and break their teeth O LORD.
Wash our feet in their blood and weigh the violence of their hands and estrange their souls from the wombs before your pots can feel the thorns, and BREAK THEIR TEETH O LORD!
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-18-2006, 02:18 AM
Amazingly good. I've very little to criticize of your adaptation.
Admirable restraint. Great rhythms going on in there.
Line breaks--might do with some rethought.
Would cherish an audio reading.
Poetry is most definitely an oral tradition.
(no Oral Roberts jokes please).
I've yet to start my poem.
Having read yours, I'll admit to being cowed!
Your poem is so good, that if mine isn't,
it'll look awful sucky by comparison.
In meditation,
Peter
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-18-2006, 02:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
My love for you is like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in
A poem of Love, by Sister Thumper
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Great poetry (and humor poetry is eligible) begins with a concept.
Sister, you have a concept worthy of a Caroll. If you happen to
be twelve? You'd be worthy to Mr. Caroll.
Line breaks:
avoid similes, "like", in particular
(exceptions can be made, bend over
flexible rules)
But for such a short--such a bon mot, "like" is pedestrian.
Consider too, that diarrhea is prosaic.
Roll the sound of diarrehea and then savor a more beautiful word:
dysentary. This might be the better way to work up the poem.
Look for sonics, look for graces. Dyssennntarrryyyy.
That's a musical word! Not only that, it has great connotations
as an illness annihilating millions of third-word mudders every year!.
Verrrry crude idea for you to consider,
it's just perspective. But your poem is too good a concept
to just let it go without revision.
Something along this line--sketched roughly, mind you:
Love, you are a dysentary
I drink salted fluids to restore
electrolytes to balance
when your surges bring on purges.
Thank you for standing at the Korner.
Many are they who do admire you.
Petter
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-18-2006, 12:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Psalm 58
1Do ye indeed speak righteousness, O congregation? do ye judge uprightly, O ye sons of men?
2Yea, in heart ye work wickedness; ye weigh the violence of your hands in the earth.
3The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
4Their poison is like the poison of a serpent: they are like the deaf adder that stoppeth her ear;
5Which will not hearken to the voice of charmers, charming never so wisely.
6Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth: break out the great teeth of the young lions, O LORD.
7Let them melt away as waters which run continually: when he bendeth his bow to shoot his arrows, let them be as cut in pieces.
8As a snail which melteth, let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun.
9Before your pots can feel the thorns, he shall take them away as with a whirlwind, both living, and in his wrath.
10The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
11So that a man shall say, Verily there is a reward for the righteous: verily he is a God that judgeth in the earth.
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Just a tad; mine is bad.
Wishing for a cyclone
to drop a House of God upon it:
_________________________
1 Do you speak of truths terrific?
Do you judge your fellow mystics?
O wicked sons of men.
Your hearts are pebbles in a rabble;
you'd create another cabal,
if you only had some brains.
2 The wicked wander wombless,
homeless souls--tend to go roomless,
then they bugger off astray,
snaking lies as hip-hop adders;
as if tar patter really matters.
(sigh)
If they only had some brains.
3 Who will heed the songs of charmers ?
those unwise ones, the disarmers:
demoncrats of present days.
Break their teeth with heavy mallets.
Laze some lions beneath their pallets.
Lions like a little brain.
__________________
gnash, grinnnd
(my gears just stripped)
Peter
pawls
and ratchets Mary
Last edited by Poetic Peter; 11-18-2006 at 12:48 PM.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-18-2006, 02:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
Just a tad; mine is bad.
Wishing for a cyclone
to drop a House of God upon it:
_________________________
1 Do you speak of truths terrific?
Do you judge your fellow mystics?
O wicked sons of men.
Your hearts are pebbles in a rabble;
you'd create another cabal,
if you only had some brains.
2 The wicked wander wombless,
homeless souls--tend to go roomless,
then they bugger off astray,
snaking lies as hip-hop adders;
as if tar patter really matters.
(sigh)
If they only had some brains.
3 Who will heed the songs of charmers ?
those unwise ones, the disarmers:
demoncrats of present days.
Break their teeth with heavy mallets.
Laze some lions beneath their pallets.
Lions like a little brain.
__________________
gnash, grinnnd
(my gears just stripped)
Peter
pawls
and ratchets Mary
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It's pretty good so far.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-21-2006, 02:23 AM
Thank you BT.
I think that was far enough to take the silly idea.
----
I would like to begin a series of BLC poems;
odes to the various luminaries of our Church.
Members, please create verse uplifting your Godly peers.
Womenfolk are requested to enjoin.
I shall compose an honorarium in the next form
for a fine Landover leader.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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LBC Personality Verse #1 -
11-21-2006, 02:51 AM
Ode to Ezekiel
GOD created
all the rocks
reminding us:
they are God's own
messengers enforcing Truth.
Here we have
Ezekiel
a rock of God
he is like rock
as hard as rock
with smarts like rock
when rock is thrown in stonings.
Pastoral, this song—an ode
for he who hurls and doth hurl us.
Ode to our Ezekiel
our thug-drug-free;
our rock and roller
total stoner.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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LBC Personality Verse #2 -
11-21-2006, 04:26 AM
Sister Sue Vera
Showers With Jesus
Moderator
Sister Sue is offline
Showering With Jesus,
The Moderator of her heart.
How we wish
Her love were ours;
This cannot be because
Sister Sue is offline
Showering With Jesus,
The Moderator of her heart.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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LBC Personality Verse #3 -
11-21-2006, 04:54 AM
Atop Cathedral Notre Damn
gargoyles gob
green eggs and ham.
Dead Dr. Seusse
seen hov'ring there, that
versing Jew of cat-hat-where.
The smallest of damned gothic charms
corrodes in stone in Satan's arms.
Yes, it is the gentle pixie
girlie goth we know as Ixi.
Last edited by Poetic Peter; 11-21-2006 at 05:14 AM.
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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LBC Personality Verse #4 -
11-21-2006, 03:33 PM
Dean Emeritus
Professor of English
Landover University
Ministering to
the Liebral Godless
of New Zealand
Senior Pastor Enobarbus
offers feasts of barbeque.
The neighbors all enjoy his treats.
NZ is where we all should eat.
It's not surprising, it's just true:
his fellow Kiwis all are ewes.
Say,
isn't lamb delicious?
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Re: LBC Personality Verse #2 -
11-21-2006, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
Sister Sue Vera
Showers With Jesus
Moderator
Sister Sue is offline
Showering With Jesus,
The Moderator of her heart.
How we wish
Her love were ours;
This cannot be because
Sister Sue is offline
Showering With Jesus,
The Moderator of her heart.
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Glory, Brother - Glory!
And despite what you might have heard,
I ain't the least bit Hoary!
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: LBC Personality Verse #1 -
11-21-2006, 09:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter
Ode to Ezekiel
GOD created
all the rocks
reminding us:
they are God's own
messengers enforcing Truth.
Here we have
Ezekiel
a rock of God
he is like rock
as hard as rock
with smarts like rock
when rock is thrown in stonings.
Pastoral, this song—an ode
for he who hurls and doth hurl us.
Ode to our Ezekiel
our thug-drug-free;
our rock and roller
total stoner.
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You appear to be confusing Pastor Ezekiel with Star-Finder.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: LBC Personality Verse #1 -
11-21-2006, 09:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
You appear to be confusing Pastor Ezekiel with Star-Finder.
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Pastor Ezekiel is certainly going to be cheesed about that!
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Christian Poet Emeritus
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Re: The Poetasters' Korner -
11-21-2006, 09:46 PM
? I don't know "Star-Finder".
I only know that Pastor E lately suffers
frequent headaches
___________
Sister Sue--you are a Grace.
I'm not clever, near to you.
You gentle rough males in your view.
It's for you that some will say
'women are the fairer sex'.
I know this is completely true;
I've seen Perfection. She is you.
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