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Reload this Page My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of trouble)
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 12:58 PM

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Originally Posted by Goetien View Post
Lust? Me being lustful? That's just plain ridiculous. I am an Adept of Major Mysteries after all, having passed the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Initiations of Fire. The forge of Vulcan should never be approached by lust. Perhaps you need to get your head out of the gutter, Sister Talitha. The ninth sphere will help you destroy that vile devil.

Prayana is for the lowly neophytes. You talk the talk, but will you walk the walk? Will do work on the rough stone to forge the stone stone of the philosopher in order to bring me closer to christ or not? Or do you not really want to lead me to Christ?
I have no idea what you are jabbering on about.
usually a good-old-fashioned Ministering by one of our Pastors sorts out people like you.

Now, be a good Lad and start talking to Jesus. You know he guided you here for us to help you.
He died (temporarily) for your Sins. Please don't let him down.



Sister Talitha

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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 04:38 PM

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Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
I have no idea what you are jabbering on about.
usually a good-old-fashioned Ministering by one of our Pastors sorts out people like you.

Now, be a good Lad and start talking to Jesus. You know he guided you here for us to help you.
He died (temporarily) for your Sins. Please don't let him down.
Suuuure you don't know what I'm talking about Do you not yet realize that I can see your thoughts as clearly as I can see the monitor before me? That I don't comprehend in my great wisdom who you think me to be? I am a most profient magus after all.

You have shown yourself to be a hypocrite who speaks of bringing people to Christ, yet are unwilling to actual do what is necessary to initiate the coming of the Holy Spirit.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 04:43 PM

"******n"

I must really be getting to you, Pastor Zeke. Perhaps if you stopped identifying with your twisted egos of unnatural lust and took up the Great Arcanum with Sister Thumper you wouldn't be making a glutton out of your anger. Two men cannot create anything.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 04:51 PM

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Originally Posted by ******n View Post
"******n"

I must really be getting to you, Pastor Zeke. Perhaps if you stopped identifying with your twisted egos of unnatural lust and took up the Great Arcanum with Sister Thumper you wouldn't be making a glutton out of your anger. Two men cannot create anything.
"Two men" what part of Sister Thumper has hooters don't you get son??? Maybe that's what happens when you pooke your nose into all them magic books, you forget what girls look like.



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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 04:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
"Two men" what part of Sister Thumper has hooters don't you get son??? Maybe that's what happens when you pooke your nose into all them magic books, you forget what girls look like.
Maybe Sister Thump-a-dump is a futanari.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 05:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
"Two men" what part of Sister Thumper has hooters don't you get son??? Maybe that's what happens when you pooke your nose into all them magic books, you forget what girls look like.
He has admitted to not entering into sexual relations with Sister Thumper and he has admitted that he has personally witnessed satan's "pecker". I gave him advice to pursue the comely sister who he currently is not pursuing.

You know as well as I do that Zeke and Temperance are perverting the natural order of creation. Their behavior with each other is an offense to the Holy Spirit. You are a sodomite also so it figures that you would defend their disgusting fudge foraging forays.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 05:17 PM

Dear Sir,

Please stop trying to paint black my Honeypie and Brother T. They are not filthy depraved Homers.

Pastor Zeke and I have been courting for some time now and he is the upmost gentleman. I can assure you that.

We have bible studies 4 nights a week in which we SHOUT PRAISE for JESUS to the point we are all sweaty and worked up for HIS love. There is nothing gay about Pastor Zeke. He also brings me a nice Dicken's Cider every Sunday before Services. He treats me like gold.

One day......you will see..... we will be married and having little Soliders for Jesus.

I can see it now.............

Now I will remind you, you are a guest here on GOD'S Favorite Forum and I expect you to act like one and show your hosts respect.

Stern, Sister Thumper
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 05:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Dear Sir,

Please stop trying to paint black my Honeypie and Brother T. They are not filthy depraved Homers.

Pastor Zeke and I have been courting for some time now and he is the upmost gentleman. I can assure you that.

We have bible studies 4 nights a week in which we SHOUT PRAISE for JESUS to the point we are all sweaty and worked up for HIS love. There is nothing gay about Pastor Zeke. He also brings me a nice Dicken's Cider every Sunday before Services. He treats me like gold.

One day......you will see..... we will be married and having little Soliders for Jesus.

I can see it now.............

Now I will remind you, you are a guest here on GOD'S Favorite Forum and I expect you to act like one and show your hosts respect.

Stern, Sister Thumper
Perhaps if you absented yourself from the Bible studies and abstained from the Dick ensCid er before church, he'd propose.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 05:23 PM

Now, let's get this thread back on track and find Skeeter a wonderful wife.

I'd like to suggest Lerlene McCoy. Now, I admit she isn't much to look at, but she is one heck of a good cook, a virgin, can knit a mean sweater and she recently quit smoking. I realize that they are only tin tithers so I'm just putting her out as a suggestion.

Let me know if you want me to send her over for an interview Mother G.

Lve, Sister Thumper
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 09:21 PM

certainly she is a good cook, as she is pleasantly plump. But can I worry as to her ability to produce Christian Warriors, since smoking is a sin that causes death to parts of the body that control reproduction. Even if she has quit smoking and is a virgin, there is a chance that her womb might not be suitable as a home for a Future Christian baby.... And her tin-level tithing would suggest that she has not been entirely faithful to Christ, since He has not seen fit to bless her with blessings of wealth...


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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 10:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Dear Sir,

Please stop trying to paint black my Honeypie and Brother T. They are not filthy depraved Homers.

Yes, I have done some astral investigations and perhaps you are correct about Temperance, but Zeke is bisexual. But that isn't important to you at all is it, lovely lady?

Pastor Zeke and I have been courting for some time now and he is the upmost gentleman. I can assure you that.

Courting? Is that so... in Freehold, Colorado?

We have bible studies 4 nights a week in which we SHOUT PRAISE for JESUS to the point we are all sweaty and worked up for HIS love. There is nothing gay about Pastor Zeke. He also brings me a nice Dicken's Cider every Sunday before Services. He treats me like gold.

One day......you will see..... we will be married and having little Soliders for Jesus.

I can see it now.............

Now I will remind you, you are a guest here on GOD'S Favorite Forum and I expect you to act like one and show your hosts respect.

Stern, Sister Thumper
Dear, comely Sister Thumper, I fear that in your fanatical attachment to a bisexual man who no doubt corrupts the sacred semi-etheric thread through infrasexual sodomy you plunge yourself into the spear of Lilith. There is no glory in being anti-sexual like the catholic nuns and priests. It leads to all sorts of sexual disorders like homosexuality and pedophilia. God forbid, you ever did form the sacred equal armed cross with such a half-vampire, you would inherit all the Karma of his evil ways.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-14-2007, 10:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ******n View Post
Dear, comely Sister Thumper, I fear that in your fanatical attachment to a bisexual man who no doubt corrupts the sacred semi-etheric thread through infrasexual sodomy you plunge yourself into the spear of Lilith. There is no glory in being anti-sexual like the catholic nuns and priests. It leads to all sorts of sexual disorders like homosexuality and pedophilia. God forbid, you ever did form the sacred equal armed cross with such a half-vampire, you would inherit all the Karma of his evil ways.
Son, all that glue sniffing has really had a bad effect on what little brains you had in the first place. You may seem impressive and cool to your fellow sheltered workshop "employees", but let me assure you that what plays well on the short bus isn't amusing to Jesus. You just aren't making any sense Goatboy.

Stop reading Harry Potter and stop watching Start Trek reruns, and GET JESUS in your life boy.

And by the way, we live in Freehold, Iowa. Our Church is famous enough that even a half-wit like you should be able to get it right....


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-15-2007, 02:29 AM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Now, let's get this thread back on track and find Skeeter a wonderful wife.

I'd like to suggest Lerlene McCoy. Now, I admit she isn't much to look at, but she is one heck of a good cook, a virgin, can knit a mean sweater and she recently quit smoking. I realize that they are only tin tithers so I'm just putting her out as a suggestion.

Let me know if you want me to send her over for an interview Mother G.

Lve, Sister Thumper
Skeeter is worried about Lurlene's plumbing. Something about a spigot instead of a drain? Anyway, as poorly as this thread has gone, with all of these heathens and homosexuals and homosexual heathens trying to sidetrack, we have swithched to plan B. Plan B is to get Paris Hilton out of jail in exchange for her wedding vow (to Skeeter of course).
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-15-2007, 05:11 AM

I'm sorry all these Hellbound, depraved homers and satanists have roont this thread Mother Glynndie.

Plan B does sound enticing. But I hope things can hurry before she turns into a rug munching, tatooed, hardend lezbean and shanks people.

At least she is not sporting a rat tail and plaid shirts .......yet.

Lve, Sister Thumper

P/S: I wonder what her prison nickname is.....? Do you know?




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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-15-2007, 05:39 AM

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Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I'm sorry all these Hellbound, depraved homers and satanists have roont this thread Mother Glynndie.

Plan B does sound enticing. But I hope things can hurry before she turns into a rug munching, tatooed, hardend lezbean and shanks people.

At least she is not sporting a rat tail and plaid shirts .......yet.

Lve, Sister Thumper

P/S: I wonder what her prison nickname is.....? Do you know?
Thumper, you have me worried about Paris. Certainly, a Republican icon like Paris will be able to resist the advances of prison bull-dykes long enough to avoid being called the Hilton Hoover.


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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-15-2007, 11:49 AM

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Son, all that glue sniffing has really had a bad effect on what little brains you had in the first place. You may seem impressive and cool to your fellow sheltered workshop "employees", but let me assure you that what plays well on the short bus isn't amusing to Jesus. You just aren't making any sense Goatboy.

I think I'm making alot of sense, Homer Zeksual. Turn away from your vile ways not just outwardly and due to social promises, but turn away from the sin within your heart. Untwist the sexual energies that are corrupted in your heart and stand up only to the cross, the lingam and yoni united. Stop your inner sacrilege against the Holy Spirit.

Matthew 5 [28] But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
[29] And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Do not think that it is OK to lust after a man, for that to is adultery of the heart as well. Cast out thine evil eye!!! Cast out thy ego of perverted lust!!!

Stop reading Harry Potter and stop watching Start Trek reruns, and GET JESUS in your life boy.

All you walk the Path of the Razor's Edge seek the Christ. The Christ does not just give itself unto anyone. You have to work for it. You have to be worthy. The work in the ninth sphere is just one part of the Arcanum A.Z.F. The death of the inner satan is foremost.

And by the way, we live in Freehold, Iowa. Our Church is famous enough that even a half-wit like you should be able to get it right....
Ooooh, Freehold in Iowa... in the United States, hai? You cleared that up for me. Domo arigato gozaimasu, pastor.
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-15-2007, 11:52 AM

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P/S: I wonder what her prison nickname is.....? Do you know?
Yes, it's "Suite Syphilis".
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Default Re: My Son Needs a Good Christian Woman (to keep him out of troub - 06-15-2007, 12:45 PM

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Yes, it's "Suite Syphilis".
Clam Dip?


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