1 Corinthians 9:27
27 -but I pummel my body and lead it as a slave, that, after I have preached to others, I myself should not become disapproved somehow.
Yes Brothers and Sisters, what with the rise of Masturbation and Homosexuality and Fornication in this WICKED "modern world", it is clear we need to PUMMEL our bodies into submission. I often read this scripture when I feel a stirring in my loins. I carry a small wooden hammer with me at all times and start pummelling my unspeakable parts as soon as I feel a stirring until the spitting serpent cannot rear it's ugly head for fear of further beatings.
Brother Brett