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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Love Jesus The South American Gay Agenda - 04-04-2017, 02:19 AM

Glory to God!


I was able to find a copy of the South American Gay Agenda today, translated into American. This document will assist us in fighting the scourge of s-e-x perversion as it heads toward our borders. Here are just a few of the items in this shocking attack on Christianity:


1. Find really stupid (but cute) Americans. Call them things like "sweetie" and "honey." They eat that stuff up like crazy.


2. Befriend Americans through pen pal sites and on social media. Send them pictures of you - smiling, holding a puppy or kitten. Show yourself at least to mid-calf, and be sure your pinga is bulging.


3. Invite them to the border to chat in areas where the wall is nonexistent. Seduce all the straight men you can and then blackmail them with photos unless they help you get across into the USA.


4. Fight Christianity - even Catholicism - and ask for satan to infiltrate your soul. Silly - there is no satan. Just wanted to make sure you're listening.


5. Try to learn the whereabouts of anti-gay activists. Shoot and kill them.


6. Get teaching licenses for Spanish in American schools. Recruit every boy you can - even fat, ugly ones. Someone has to have sex with fat ugly boys - why not other fat ugly boys?


Brothers and Sisters, there are other items on this agenda that are unsuitable even for male True Christians™ except perhaps Brother Porter and Brother Elmer. Even Ezekiel Flint himself might be taken aback.


The ultimate goal is to take over America with homer influences by the year 2020. I believe the author of the South American Gay Agenda can help me latch onto the 2017 version of the American Gay Agenda. PLEASE pray for me as I try to obtain information. I need all the intelligence I can get to be successful.


Stay fabulous, all!
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Scared Re: The South American Gay Agenda - 05-26-2017, 04:59 PM

I'm Gay
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Default Re: The South American Gay Agenda - 05-26-2017, 05:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoGayyyyyy View Post
I'm Gay
I'm sorry to hear that. Why don't you introduce yourself properly so we can get to know and pray for you. You can do so conveniently on our dedicated sub-forum, called, cleverly enough, the Introduction Forum.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: The South American Gay Agenda - 05-26-2017, 05:16 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoGayyyyyy View Post
I'm Gay

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.


God often calls upon His people to enforce His laws and, knowing this, few unsaved homosexual perverts flaunt themselves before us. We are peaceful Christians here and do not want to be harassed by wretches such as you. What do you want here, pervert?


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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