As you know, I'm a big music fan, and when I go on my annual trips to Asia to inspect my factories, I like to bring a live band. Unfortunately,
my favorite trombonist Don Drummond recently passed away.
Let me tell you, NO ONE could produce as much pleasure as Mr. Drummond when he put his lips on my instrument and blew. The sweet, sweet Jamaican trombone can produce waves of ecstacy, let me tell you.
Here is what they wrote about him in the Jamaican press:
Quote:
Arguably the best trombone player Jamaican ever produced DON "D" was what most people called him. Some of them didn't know his name. Others never saw him in person or seen him perform, but most people who were connected to any kind of music in Jamaica during the fifties and sixties would probably know about the best Trombone player of that era. There were not very many Trombone players during that period. Of course there men like Carl Masters, Von Muller (Mullo) and a few more that were there before Don came along, but none of them lit up the spotlight like he did. This man has been heard by a number of foreigners who gave laurels for his brand of music. He was undoubtedly the best at the short time he spent with us.
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RIP, Mr. Drummond. You will be missed.
Nevertheless, the passing of Mr. Drummond requires that I hire someone to take his place. So if you know of anyone who plays the Jamaican Trombone, please let me know. I'm thinking of placing an ad on Craigslist, but if you know someone out there, that would be helpful. I prefer to be discreet.
I will supply the instrument, all he has to do is put his lips together and blow. Unfortunately, since the climate in the southeast Asian jungle can be very humid, sometimes it might be necessary to play the rusty trombone. My friend Don sometimes recoiled in horror when I demanded he play the rusty trombone-- which didn't go over very well sometimes, because I believe that enthusiasm matters.
Also, if possible, I would prefer that the trombonist is also a conservative Republican, preferably a teabagger. We will be traveling quite a bit in the US, and I'd prefer not to end up arguing with the musicians. If we see any teabagging demonstrations, I'd like to be able to jump right in and participate. Last year when I was making a speech at a convention in Cleveland, I brought my band on a boat outing into Lake Erie, and it was wonderful. There is nothing like teabagging all day, and then getting some Jamaican trombone while sitting on a Cleveland steamer.
If you know of anyone who would be interested, please give me their number one of these nights after Bible study.
Thanks,
Monty
P.S. We will be flying instead of taking the boat to Asia this year, so we won't meet up with an angry pirate again.