Christian history forum This forum is dedicated to the history of Christianity, and its impact on the history of the world. |
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-30-2015, 02:23 PM
If there is one thing clear in the Bible, it is that nakedness will not be tolerated in Heaven. Proper clothing has been theme in Christianity ever since God created Adam.
I get angry when I see depictions of angels wearing what look to me to be very thin gowns. If men can see through a gown, it is the same sin as if there were no gown. Angels wear proper robes, period.
We don't see enough written about practical things like what is proper attire for heaven. I know you will enjoy reading this link:
http://www.christianpost.com/news/th...heaven-136190/
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-30-2015, 05:05 PM
Certainly nothing that could entice a man into committing homorectal sins would be tolerated in Heaven, and that means anything that reveals the shape of a man. The following Youtube link discloses the sort of technology that will be necessary to prevent men from visualizing gay sex at a glance, a nanotech invisibility cloak:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mZ8C1ToHqs
While the Japs are no doubt developing the invisibility cloak to work mischief, such as poisoning the Emperor's food, or snapping pictures of American military installations, they have inadvertently assisted Christian operations to thwart gay thinking, and cross-purposed unnatural functionality of the male anus. God has a plan for everything, even tricky jap games.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 324
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Gods flat Earth
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 01:14 AM
This is why dead people are dressed up when they are put in the casket.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 01:41 AM
I have to pack this crap, too?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 01:48 PM
I'm for sure bringing my wedding dress. I'll need it for when I get married to !
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 02:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
I'm for sure bringing my wedding dress. I'll need it for when I get married to !
|
Amen, Sister!
We'll be like Sister Wives in Heaven!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 06:32 PM
Good idea, Sister Daisy! I'll bring mine with me; I can't wait to be the Bride of Christ, though for now, my own husband is a good, kind, and godly Pastor and a very good husband!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 06:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
I'm for sure bringing my wedding dress. I'll need it for when I get married to !...
|
It might as well get some use, huh?
|
|
Repenting ex-homer
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 116
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Godless Scotland
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 06:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
It might as well get some use, huh?
|
You disgusting atheist dog.
This isn't a forum for petty childish insults. I can't wait for you to split hell wide open.
In Christ!
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
03-31-2015, 11:07 PM
Will undergarments be necessary?
Matthew 22:27-30 KJV
And last of all the woman died also. Therefore in the resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. Jesus answered and said unto them, Ye do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
context
|
|
Unsaved trash, eating grubs in a cave
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 24
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: In my lover's bed
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 01:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Will undergarments be necessary?
|
I never wear knickers anyway. Definitely a nice bra though, which will show me off to best advantage.
Ezekiel 23:16-17 And as soon as she saw them with her eyes, she doted upon them, and sent messengers unto them into Chaldea. And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them, and her mind was alienated from them.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 02:09 AM
Whore, what makes you think you're going to Heaven? Satan is going to have a great time with you!
|
|
Unsaved trash, eating grubs in a cave
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 24
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: In my lover's bed
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 02:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
Whore, what makes you think you're going to Heaven? Satan is going to have a great time with you!
|
Oops! Sorry, I forgot. That's what comes from spending too much time with good people like yourselves.
Ezekiel 23:16-17 And as soon as she saw them with her eyes, she doted upon them, and sent messengers unto them into Chaldea. And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them, and her mind was alienated from them.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 02:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aholibah
I never wear knickers anyway. Definitely a nice bra though, which will show me off to best advantage.
|
You can wear anything you fancy when you're scrubbing toilets in hell.
|
|
Curry slurping demon
|
|
Posts: 323
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Godless Scotland
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 01:40 PM
Yes. Harsha Shah here. I am still a young woman but I am aware of my mortality. If my religion is right I will be re-born with no need for clothes, eh? Yes. No need. Maybe I shall be a baby naked and defenseless. But I have not been very good so maybe I'll be a cicada singing for an evening and then dying off for the next life. Maybe that is all we ever are. Yes. Beautiful but sad. And it is sad that I really do not believe that any more. Yes. I am thinking that as I pass the clothes will pass too.
"Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."Yes. Women are saving lives. It is time we are speaking! Yes!
|
|
Unsaved trash, foreign papist
|
|
Posts: 76
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: ring kissing antichrist headquarters
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 06:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
Good idea, Sister Daisy! I'll bring mine with me; I can't wait to be the Bride of Christ, though for now, my own husband is a good, kind, and godly Pastor and a very good husband!
|
Oh can I join and marry our Lord too then? As you know I am a really true Christian and when I think of the time Jesus were a delicate little boy teaching the rabbis in the temple I must say I would have married him right there on the spot!
Ex 20:4-5 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; <--- That includes Mary
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-01-2015, 08:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Regens Kuechl
Oh can I join and marry our Lord too then? As you know I am a really true Christian and when I think of the time Jesus were a delicate little boy teaching the rabbis in the temple I must say I would have married him right there on the spot!
|
I hate to disappoint you, but He's no longer a little boy.
Secondly, has it occurred to you He may not want to marry a ring-kissing papist?
Thirdly, you're off to Hell with Alibaba, anyway.
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-02-2015, 01:06 AM
I think it is beautiful that our True Christian™ ladies are planning ahead to be brides of Christ.
A line in the sand have been drawn for homers, however. Don't even think about being a bride of Jesus. He hates you.
Don't try your trick of going in drag either.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-02-2015, 04:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
It might as well get some use, huh?
|
Stop being rude to our darling Sister Daisy! She's a good, respectable, lovely woman, and sets a good example to athiest scum like you!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Packing for Heaven: Here are the Clothes You Will Need. -
04-02-2015, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aholibah
I never wear knickers anyway. Definitely a nice bra though, which will show me off to best advantage.
|
Wait what! Hold it! You aren't going to Heaven as a slut. "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Revelation 21:8 God wants you to cover those lumps of fat, not whore them out! Goodness!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|