PRAYER REQUESTS Please check regularly |
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Prayer request - please help -
06-06-2008, 06:22 PM
Here is a prayer request - please ask the Lord to force Deaner to suspend me and ban me for life from these posts.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-06-2008, 06:30 PM
This is a rather unusual request, Brother/Sister. Have you Prayed upon it also, or do you simply seek to Pray upon Brother Deaner?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-06-2008, 07:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunned
Here is a prayer request - please ask the Lord to force Deaner to suspend me and ban me for life from these posts
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Oh, but you just got here! Why don't you tell us something about yourself, such as your favorite Bible verse? Do you tithe? What about your sexual orientation? If you are a homer, of course JESUS will drop your sorry butt into satan's lake of fire when you die (Jesus forgive noddy)
In fact, while you're at it, why don't you tell us what you think is ...
WRONG!
... with our GODLY forums, stun boy?
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-06-2008, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunned
Here is a prayer request - please ask the Lord to force Deaner to suspend me and ban me for life from these posts.
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What would be the point of that?
There's a big red X in the upper-right corner of your screen. Click it, and you will never have to look upon God's Favorite Forum again. Well, until He shows you the point where you could have turned to Him, but chose to be snarky instead . . . and then drop-kicks you straight into Hell! <-- I like this one. I shall use it often.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 43
Join Date: May 2008
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-07-2008, 12:54 AM
Stunned, Jesus brought you here for a reason. Why fight? Embrace the teachings of these Godly Brothers and Sisters and accept Jesus. Jesus will reward you for it.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-09-2008, 10:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by stunned
Here is a prayer request - please ask the Lord to force Deaner to suspend me and ban me for life from these posts.
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As Benjamin Franklin said, "God helps those who help themselves." As an example, if you asked me to help you desecrate a catlick church, but then just watched me as I set it alight for you, I was not actually helping you. I would be doing the work for you.
Many Christians fall into the trap of inactivity. Many Christians ask God for help, but then expect God to do everything Himself. They excuse this by pointing to the fact that God will provide according to His will and in His timing. However, this is not a reason for inactivity.
Hence we see that your first port of call should be a polite note to Brother Deaner himself. Brother Deaner is almost too keen to help those suffering and by The Lord’s Word and Mercy he will be guided.
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compassion personified
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,721
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Zealand
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-11-2008, 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
There's a big red X in the upper-right corner of your screen. Click it, and you will never have to look upon God's Favorite Forum again.
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Marvellous advice for the unsaved and slack-jawed masses, Brother. Unfortunately they have great trouble finding that elusive "X", and we, God's Elect™, must trawl through their snivelling posts.
I believe that reading their posts is akin to the tortures of Hell; By God, I hope they suffer when they get there!
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-11-2008, 04:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers
Marvellous advice for the unsaved and slack-jawed masses, Brother. Unfortunately they have great trouble finding that elusive "X", and we, God's Elect™, must trawl through their snivelling posts.
I believe that reading their posts is akin to the tortures of Hell; By God, I hope they suffer when they get there!
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Perhaps, Godly Mrs. Rogers, they will be forced to read their own drivel while simultaneously being sodomized by demons!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 52
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bible belt, USA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-12-2008, 05:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Perhaps, Godly Mrs. Rogers, they will be forced to read their own drivel while simultaneously being sodomized by demons!
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It would serve them right!
oh wait, I'm unsaved trash
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,840
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nice house on Nob Hill
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-12-2008, 06:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotfan
It would serve them right!
oh wait, I'm unsaved trash
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Yoooooou betcha! And unfortunately you will continue to be so, until you ...
ACCEPT JESUS AS YOUR SAVIOR!
... else you shall remain an outcast among GODLY TRUE CHRISTIANS™! For it is written ...
2nd John 1:10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed ...
Grimly, Sister Noddy
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 52
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bible belt, USA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-12-2008, 08:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Noddy
Yoooooou betcha! And unfortunately you will continue to be so, until you ...
ACCEPT JESUS AS YOUR SAVIOR!
... else you shall remain an outcast among GODLY TRUE CHRISTIANS™! For it is written ...
2nd John 1:10 If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed ...
Grimly, Sister Noddy
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but, i dont deserve Jesus
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-12-2008, 10:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotfan
It would serve them right!
oh wait, I'm unsaved trash
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Have you hit the GODLY Paypal button at the bottom of your screen?
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 52
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bible belt, USA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 08:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Have you hit the GODLY Paypal button at the bottom of your screen?
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oh is that how you change from unsaved trash to a True Christian?
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 08:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotfan
oh is that how you change from unsaved trash to a True Christian?
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NO!!
You have to let the warmth of Jesus enter you.
Show that you've read The Bible (King James Version ONLY).
THERE IS NO SHORT CUT TO SALVATION.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2008
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 09:16 AM
I've always had a really bad problem with praying.... i dont know if you can help me. every time i pray, i feel the urge to pass wind, is this god trying to contact me? it's been happening for some time now.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 52
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bible belt, USA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 09:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
NO!!
You have to let the warmth of Jesus enter you.
Show that you've read The Bible (King James Version ONLY).
THERE IS NO SHORT CUT TO SALVATION.
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I've read the KING JAMES VERSION ONLY bible through twice, thank you.
Yet I'm still unsaved trash
Quote:
Originally Posted by peter_p
I've always had a really bad problem with praying.... i dont know if you can help me. every time i pray, i feel the urge to pass wind, is this god trying to contact me? it's been happening for some time now.
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ohhhhhhhhh i bet it is!
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 11:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by slipknotfan
I've read the KING JAMES VERSION ONLY bible through twice, thank you.
Yet I'm still unsaved trash
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There's alot more to acheiving True Christian status than claiming to have read the Good Book a couple of times. You have yet to quote from any verse in the Bible, and your smart-alecky cartoon avatar doesn't endear you any to Christ.
Not to mention that we have yet to receive your Tithe. That's what that shiny Paypal button is for at the bottom of the page.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 52
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bible belt, USA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
There's alot more to acheiving True Christian™ status than claiming to have read the Good Book a couple of times. You have yet to quote from any verse in the Bible, and your smart-alecky cartoon avatar doesn't endear you any to Christ.
Not to mention that we have yet to receive your Tithe. That's what that shiny Paypal button is for at the bottom of the page.
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ohhh, so the paypal button is a direct link to salvation!
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 06:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesussaysslipnotsucks
but, i dont deserve Jesus
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That's true, Sucks.
Nobody deserves Jesus. We are all filthy, disgusting sinners with no value in God's eyes except as fuel for His fire. Humans are not worthy to lick His toe, and must recognize their place as His playthings. The more fortunate sinners might aspire to be the Hellfire over which He toasts His evening marshmallow some cold winter's night in Heaven.
But, God decided He didn't want to torture ALL of His creation for all eternity, so He came to Earth as Jesus, to give us all a chance to be Saved©! This elite group consists of those who hear the Word of God, read and follow the entire KJV Bible, and who love and fear God with all their hearts.
Those of us who are Saved© can look forward to spending OUR afterlives in Heaven, enjoying the occasional Hellfire-toasted marshmallow ourselves. Wouldn't you like to join us?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 52
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bible belt, USA
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Re: Prayer request - please help -
06-13-2008, 07:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Wouldn't you like to join us?
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I would, but how? Its just to good to be true, its far to much for my finite, stupid little mind to grasp.
For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.--- 1 Corinthians 9:19
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