[Bob4God]

Hello Brothers in Christ,

During our last camping trip, one of the boys in my youth group confessed around the campfire to being addicted to self-abuse. Soon, numerous other boys confessed to commiting this sin every night, and even sometimes in the day!!

I breathed a quick prayer for GOD to guide me to the correct answers. I read them some of the verses in the Bible about not lusting (which obviously happens during 'it') and reminded them of what happened to Onan.

Please pray for them to be able to have the strength to resist these unnatural urges, and also pray that I will be able to assist them however the Lord sees fit.

[Nobar King]

Or are you referring to self-sexual abuse? You could always have a chili cutting session before bedtime.

[Larry Lee]

Originally Posted by Bob4God

Please pray for them to be able to have the strength to resist these unnatural urges, and also pray that I will be able to assist them however the Lord sees fit.

Hmm, I don't know, Bob. I'm wondering where those boys got their ideas.

I do hope there's a sturdy, well-insulated wall separating your sleeping chambers from theirs. Can you confirm this?

And in your work with these boys, you're not encouraging them to "mix it up," are you? You're not counseling them to avoid "under-handed behavior," are you? And at the evening campfire, it's not you who's encouraging them to "beat the mesquite," is it?

And speaking frankly, I was surprised to hear you lectured them on washing their perineums. And the scheduling of those Saturday night "sock hops," that wasn't – as I've heard – your idea, was it?

Please respond to these concerns promptly, rather than with the delayed timeliness that your are – in some circles – known for.

[Bob4God]

Brother Larry,

Yes, on our camp trips we stay in cabins. I have my own cabin while the boys have theirs. They sleep in modest bunk beds, and are discouraged from sleeping in their underwear, or worse, nude. I tell them I prefer to see them in pajamas.

In my work with the youth group, all I ever encourage them to do is to take a closer walk with JESUS, and give their hearts to him. We hardly ever speak of sex, but when it does come up, all I can say is "wait until you're married" and then give them a list of verses to back up my point.

I'm almost certain of where they picked up this vile habit: The internet.

I didn't know it, but apparently you can find videos of men doing "that" on some websites. Why would anybody want to WATCH SOMETHING SO PERVERSE!??!!

Also, I'm unaware of these sock hops you're talking about.

Please rest assured, all I want for these boys is that they grow into wholesome Christian men, and to see them in Heaven on the right-hand side of our LORD and GOD.

Amen.

[Unfalsifiable]

These boys are all obviously under the age of consent, so they are surely committing statutory rape? In this case you should report them to the police.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

These boys are all obviously under the age of consent, so they are surely committing statutory rape? In this case you should report them to the police.

Masturbation is not a crime.

[Unfalsifiable]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Masturbation is not a crime.

Is having sexual relations with minors a crime?

[Bob4God]

If you are insinuating, sir, that I am having inappropriate relations with MY Youth Group, may GOD ALMIGHTY DAMN YOU TO HELL FOR CURSING THE GOOD NAME OF ONE OF HIS SERVANTS!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

Is having sexual relations with minors a crime?

Sexual relations requires at least two entities. It is a crime for an adult to have sex with a minor. It is a crime for an adult to fondle a minor. It is not a crime for a minor to fondle himself or herself.

[Unfalsifiable]

Originally Posted by Bob4God

If you are insinuating, sir, that I am having inappropriate relations with MY Youth Group, may GOD ALMIGHTY DAMN YOU TO HELL FOR CURSING THE GOOD NAME OF ONE OF HIS SERVANTS!

No, not at all, I am insulted by your tirade, control yourself you fool.

The boys are having sexual relations with themselves and they are under the age of consent, meaning they aren't able to properly agree with what they are doing to themselves. This makes it statutory rape, these boys are rapists and need to go to jail.

Dances, is masturbation not sexual? And can they not relate to themselves?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

No, not at all, I am insulted by your tirade, control yourself you fool.

The boys are having sexual relations with themselves and they are under the age of consent, meaning they aren't able to properly agree with what they are doing to themselves. This makes it statutory rape, these boys are rapists and need to go to jail.

Dances, is masturbation not sexual? And can they not relate to themselves?

Sexually stimulating oneself is not a crime. No consent is needed to touch oneself.
Why is that so hard for you to understand?

[Unfalsifiable]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Sexually stimulating oneself is not a crime. No consent is needed to touch oneself.
Why is that so hard for you to understand?

They are under the age of consent, they can't decide whether they enter into sexual relations with anyone, even if they unanimously agree, that doesn't make the person touching them ok, even if it is them.

Why do you think sexually stimulating minors is ok, Dances?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

They are under the age of consent, they can't decide whether they enter into sexual relations with anyone, even if they unanimously agree, that doesn't make the person touching them ok, even if it is them.

Why do you think sexually stimulating minors is ok, Dances?

I think it's ok for minors to sexually stimulate themselves; I don't think it's ok for other people to sexually stimulate minors, and it's especially not ok for adults to sexually stimulate minors.

[Bob4God]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

No, not at all, I am insulted by your tirade, control yourself you fool.

The boys are having sexual relations with themselves and they are under the age of consent, meaning they aren't able to properly agree with what they are doing to themselves. This makes it statutory rape, these boys are rapists and need to go to jail.

Dances, is masturbation not sexual? And can they not relate to themselves?

Unfalsifiable, I apologize for losing my temper. (I have to pray about that a lot.) It's just that when I perceive somebody is discrediting GOD or my work for him, I tend to fly into fits of uncontrolable passion for our precious SAVIOR, PRAISE HIS NAME AND AMEN!

Again, sorry I mis-interpreted.

[Unfalsifiable]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

I think it's ok for minors to sexually stimulate themselves; I don't think it's ok for other people to sexually stimulate minors, and it's especially not ok for adults to sexually stimulate minors.

But you agree that minors are minors, and therefore unable to consent, so you agree that raping themselves should not be ok. You either say that minors are either A) not minors and fair game, or B ) rape is ok. What you are saying right now is not logically consistent.

And Bob, I forgave you before you even did it.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

But you agree that minors are minors, and therefore unable to consent, so you agree that raping themselves should not be ok. You either say that minors are either A) not minors and fair game, or B ) rape is ok. What you are saying right now is not logically consistent.

It is not possible for a person to rape him or herself.

[Unfalsifiable]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

It is not possible for a person to rape him or herself.

What about engaging in sexual relations with yourself before the age of consent? Even if you do consent, which you probably will because you are doing it, you are still raping yourself.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Unfalsifiable

What about engaging in sexual relations with yourself before the age of consent? Even if you do consent, which you probably will because you are doing it, you are still raping yourself.

Your level of ridiculousness beggars description.

[Larry Lee]

Originally Posted by Bob4God

Unfalsifiable, I apologize for losing my temper. (I have to pray about that a lot.) It's just that when I perceive somebody is discrediting GOD or my work for him, I tend to fly into fits of uncontrolable passion for our precious SAVIOR, PRAISE HIS NAME AND AMEN!

Again, sorry I mis-interpreted.

Son, your contrition seems heartfelt... Would this not be the time to disclose your contributions to the boys' relentless embrace of onanism?

[Bob4God]

Brother Larry,

I certainly hope with all my heart that I have NOT contributed to the boys' lustful sins in any way, shape, or form.

Many of them have spent hours on the phone with me since their confessions trying to take their minds off the temptations that the devil has laid before them. Some of them are at the point in their struggle where they are losing hope of ever being able to get out of this spiraling addiction, and are now trying to rationalize their behavior saying it's "natural" and even saying it's "healthy."

I understand exactly where they're at, as I struggled with the M-word long and hard in my teen years. I found that singing hymns loudly and proudy whenever the temptation strikes is a great way to take your mind off of it, I tell them. I remember waking my own parents up more than once in the middle of the night in a soulful rendition of "I've got a home in gloryland."

What's worse is that I have reason to believe that a couple of the boys are even practicing this vile sin WITH EACH OTHER! One of them called me the other night and hinted that this was the case. Apparently, there is a game that involves seed and saltine crackers, where the sinner who spills his seed last must CONSUME the violated cracker! THIS IS SURELY A SIGN OF UNDERLYING HOMOSEXUAL TEMPTATIONS!

PLEASE pray that the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY WILL INTERVENE AND SAVE THESE BOYS' SOULS!