[Buford T Scoggins]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Oh, my dear Sister, nothing would give me more pleasure than explaining to you all about parting... how Moses took his powerful hand, and guiding it firmly, separated the trembling sea in two trembling mountains, and got his People in, fast and swiftly, until all of it was between the two humid walls! Tonight I'll be busy with dear sister BTB, but when you are in Freehold, we'll have plenty of time for these discussions

That´s really generous of you, Brother Santiago, to take time off from your busy medical practice to educate a sister in need.

It brings tears to my eyes when I see how selfless are the members of LBC.

YIC,
Brother Buford, marooned in Bananaland

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins

That´s really generous of you, Brother Santiago, to take time off from your busy medical practice to educate a sister in need.

It brings tears to my eyes when I see how selfless are the members of LBC.

YIC,
Brother Buford, marooned in Bananaland

Oh, dear Brother, I am a doctor, yes, but in Flood Geology and Biblical Science (you know they don't give those titles just because! You have to work hard!) But yes, I am willing to take some of my valuable time away from the academy, to spend it with my dear Sisters, in loving discussion of the mysteries of the Lord... Have you had a chance to use the words I sent you? Have they work properly? Are Big Macs there as good as the American ones? Are you still chaste?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

And work hard he does PRAISE JESUS!

Bless his hard working heart!

LORD-A MERCY!

See you tomorrow Bother Doctor!

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

And work hard he does PRAISE JESUS!

Bless his hard working heart!

LORD-A MERCY!

See you tomorrow Bother!

Oh, I am looking forward to it, dear Sister, why, I'm sure we will study about the Flood harder than ever this time, until I have you shouting Glory to the Lord and asking Jesus to come to you right now and give you all of his Precious Love deep within you... The whole idea already has me hot and trembling, full of the Holy Spirit, ready to give it all to you...

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Ohhhhhhh, Yes! yes! yes! bring it now! I'm ready and trembling to testify.

Don't tarry Brother I'm in a state of pert near GLORY that just needs your touch to take it to completion. Thank you LORD. I'm HEALED!


Breathless, Sister T.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Yes! yes! yes! bring it now! I'm ready and trembling to testify.

Don't tarry Brother I'm in a state of pert near GLORY that just needs your touch to take it to completion. Thank you LORD. I'm HEALED!


Breathless, Sister T.

I'll be there in an hour.

[Dr. Otto Bond Sr.]

Don't drink the water.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Oh, I am looking forward to it, dear Sister, why, I'm sure we will study about the Flood harder than ever this time, until I have you shouting Glory to the Lord and asking Jesus to come to you right now and give you all of his Precious Love deep within you... The whole idea already has me hot and trembling, full of the Holy Spirit, ready to give it all to you...

A cold shower will help that.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Oh, dear Brother, I am a doctor, yes, but in Flood Geology and Biblical Science (you know they don't give those titles just because! You have to work hard!) But yes, I am willing to take some of my valuable time away from the academy, to spend it with my dear Sisters, in loving discussion of the mysteries of the Lord... Have you had a chance to use the words I sent you? Have they work properly? Are Big Macs there as good as the American ones? Are you still chaste?

Dear Dr Santiago,

Whenever I get out of this God-forsaken banana republic, I´ll schedule an appointment. I´m impressed by your credentials in Flood Geology - I´ve been having a problem with my prostate for a couple of years now.

Also, thanks for letting me know about all the fine work Chiquita Bananas is doing supporting right-wing death squads in Columbia. It´s great to know that some American companies are willing to fight the terrorists over there, so that we don´t have to fight them in God´s chosen country, the USA.

Of course I am remaining chaste! I wouldn´t touch Panamian harlot with a 10-foot pole, even if the pole was wearing a condom. I understand that they have a form of AIDS here so contagious that you can catch it by just talking to a Panamanian by telephone.

To answer your other question, the Big Macs taste the same here, surely they are imported from the USA, was there ever any doubt? You wouldn´t be suggesting that they use any local cows or vegetables to produce burgers, are you? Or that the Coca-Cola is bottled any place other than the good old USA? Why, if they produced any of that stuff here, it would be...FRAUD! A violation of America´s intellectual property laws! A crime against humanity. Please tell me it ain´t so!

The horror, the horror!

Buford,
lost in the Devil´s lair

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins

Dear Dr Santiago,

Whenever I get out of this God-forsaken banana republic, I´ll schedule an appointment. I´m impressed by your credentials in Flood Geology - I´ve been having a problem with my prostate for a couple of years now.

I'm sorry to hear that, I will pray for you, and direct you to an appropriate especialist about that, for I haven't made a prostate examination in ages...

Also, thanks for letting me know about all the fine work Chiquita Bananas is doing supporting right-wing death squads in Columbia. It´s great to know that some American companies are willing to fight the terrorists over there, so that we don´t have to fight them in God´s chosen country, the USA.

Amen, Brother! Why, using terrorism to fight terrorism is indeed God's way, I'm sure, and who really cares about Culombians killing each other anyway? That is just worth maybe a bit of a mention in the Presidential candidates 20-second interviews, or something (and you know what they say, the only good beaner is a...)

Of course I am remaining chaste! I wouldn´t touch Panamian harlot with a 10-foot pole, even if the pole was wearing a condom. I understand that they have a form of AIDS here so contagious that you can catch it by just talking to a Panamanian by telephone.

Avoid all public telephones, of course, and needless to say, public toilets.

To answer your other question, the Big Macs taste the same here, surely they are imported from the USA, was there ever any doubt? You wouldn´t be suggesting that they use any local cows or vegetables to produce burgers, are you?

Does McDonald's actually use cows? Nothing says "America" like the aftertaste of a Big Mac shipped all the way from good ol' USA, I can tell you that, Glory!

Or that the Coca-Cola is bottled any place other than the good old USA? Why, if they produced any of that stuff here, it would be...FRAUD! A violation of America´s intellectual property laws! A crime against humanity. Please tell me it ain´t so!

The horror, the horror!

Buford,
lost in the Devil´s lair

Oh, Brother, do you really think the Coca Cola Company could be so greedy as to sell the franchise of the name and just sell the concentrate, and actually let America's favourite drink be made with just any water from any sewer Latin American river or sugar from ungodly jungle sugar cane and not good old Midwest corn syrup? Oh, and don't even think in crossing the border into Culombia, that place is most surely the entrance to Hell itself

[Buford T Scoggins]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Nothing says "America" like the aftertaste of a Big Mac shipped all the way from good ol' USA, I can tell you that, Glory! Oh, Brother, do you really think the Coca Cola Company could be so greedy as to sell the franchise of the name and just sell the concentrate, and actually let America's favourite drink be made with just any water from any sewer Latin American river or sugar from ungodly jungle sugar cane and not good old Midwest corn syrup? Oh, and don't even think in crossing the border into Culombia, that place is most surely the entrance to Hell itself

Thank you Brother, I feel better by your reassurance. I also have some other good news - today I found a large chain supermarket called "Super 99" which has just oodles of 100% genuine American products. Of course, I´d rather be shopping at Wal-Mart, but under the circumstances I´ve got to go with the supermarket I have and not the supermarket I´d wish for. Anyway, I found lots of great, nutritious products from the Homeland, such as Snickers candy bars, Dr Pepper and Cheese Doodles. You can´t imagine how wonderful a box of Cracker Jacks tastes until you´ve been deprived - like mannah from Heaven. Praise Jesus - Satan will not be able to tempt me with the AIDS-infested "fresh" fruit and vegetables that these natives seem to be peddling on every street corner here in Bananaland.

The Lord is surely putting me through a trial, but I believe that He is testing me in preparation for a better day. I just wish he´d get this test over with ASAP so I can get back to Wacko, Texas, and get even with that abortionist.

YIC,
Buford

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Oh, dear Brother, I am a doctor, yes, but in Flood Geology and Biblical Science (you know they don't give those titles just because! You have to work hard!)

Did you break a nail tearing open all those boxes of Cracker Jack until you found the one with your "degree" inside?

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Tonight I'll be busy with dear sister BTB, but when you are in Freehold, we'll have plenty of time for these discussions

I can't wait, Dr. Solo! I'll be counting the days until my monthly visit!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Did you break a nail tearing open all those boxes of Cracker Jack until you found the one with your "degree" inside?

How dare you denigrate Dr. Solo's academic accomplishments! He EARNED his degree from Landover University, and is now an acclaimed True Christian™ Doctor of Creation Science.! He didn't get one of these fake degrees you can get handed to you from a joo-run secular college.

Jealousy is not an attractive quality, witch.

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by Dances without Joy

Did you break a nail tearing open all those boxes of Cracker Jack until you found the one with your "degree" inside?

Are you accusing Creation Scientists of having phoney degrees from mill-institutions without credibility in academic media? Why, I never! I am as much a doctor as dear Dr. Hovind in my signature, may God bless his scientist soul...

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by JennyD

I can't wait, Dr. Solo! I'll be counting the days until my monthly visit!

Me too, Sister, me too, as soon as you become clean again, and I can approach you, you will feel as if the Red Sea was opening again in front of your very eyes!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Originally Posted by Dr. Santiago Solo

Are you accusing Creation Scientists of having phoney degrees from mill-institutions without credibility in academic media?

You got that. You're brighter than I thought.

Why, I never! I am as much a doctor as dear Dr. Hovind in my signature, may God bless his scientist soul...

Since Hovind is a fraud, you just proved my point.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

How dare you denigrate Dr. Solo's academic accomplishments! He EARNED his degree from Landover University, and is now an acclaimed True Christian™ Doctor of Creation Science.! He didn't get one of these fake degrees you can get handed to you from a joo-run secular college.

And let me just add a hearty "Amen" to that, Pastor Ezekiel. I have already benefited from Dr Solo´s medical advice on how to stay safe and healthy in this Third World latrine called "Panama". Dr Solo is a great medical authority, just like Dr Henry Kissinger, world-reknowned proctologist and advisor to the Nixon administration.

As you say pastor, some people are just plain jealous.

YIC,
Brother Buford

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins

AIDS-infested "fresh" fruit and vegetables that these natives seem to be peddling on every street corner here in Bananaland.

Thank GOD we don't have much of that vile swill here in America, "JESUS' Favorite Nation," anymore.
What we do have tastes like cardboard and the prices are so high no one buys it anyway.
Perhaps this is why we Americans live longer all the time

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Ohhhhhhh, Yes! yes! yes! bring it now! I'm ready and trembling to testify.

Don't tarry Brother I'm in a state of pert near GLORY that just needs your touch to take it to completion. Thank you LORD. I'm HEALED!


Breathless, Sister T.

I just wanted to thank you for a most wonderful evening, dear Sister T. I had never felt the Holy Spirit flowing so powerfully in me as I did during our encounter with you and Brother Remy, the way you got completely filled with Jesus' hot, penetrating love was so inspiring, how we discussed the wonders and achievements of the LORD during the Flood, why, I could almost feel how the waters from above and the waters from below opened in a glorious, furious, powerful stream, and that final moment of enlightenment when Brother Remy, myself and you started trembling and screaming Glory simultaneously was one of the best experiences of my Christian™ life. Thank you again, Sister, and thank you for letting me admire Pastor Zeke's disciplinary objects, it was quite thrilling to see it. Yours in Christ, whenever you need so,

Dr. S. Solo