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Toilet Biter
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Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 08:11 AM
Clearly my attempts to re-acclimate are still shoddy. I seem to still have some demons that need to be excised. Locking myself up for a month with nothing but the kjv bible. Hope to be closer to being saved after memorizing the scriptures so I don't cause any more mess ups such as cutting brake lines to retards' cars.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 08:24 AM
Well praise Jesus, this sounds like a really enjoyable month you've got ahead of you!
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 09:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Clearly my attempts to re-acclimate are still shoddy. I seem to still have some demons that need to be excised. Locking myself up for a month with nothing but the kjv bible. Hope to be closer to being saved after memorizing the scriptures so I don't cause any more mess ups such as cutting brake lines to retards' cars.
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While on the face of it this may seem a laudable aim, how are you going to ensure that you do not succumb to the sin of onanism?
Genesis 38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 666
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 11:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Clearly my attempts to re-acclimate are still shoddy. I seem to still have some demons that need to be excised. Locking myself up for a month with nothing but the kjv bible. Hope to be closer to being saved after memorizing the scriptures so I don't cause any more mess ups such as cutting brake lines to retards' cars.
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Thats the KJV Bible.
So you going without food and water for a mere month?
Why not Man up like Jesus and fast like Him for 40 days before being tempted to turn your stones into bread
Matthew 4:1 - 5
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 11:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander
Thats the KJV Bible.
So you going without food and water for a mere month?
Why not Man up like Jesus and fast like Him for 40 days before being tempted to turn your stones into bread
Matthew 4:1 - 5
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This is important, too be sure.
But I'm much more interested in him masturbating.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 11:43 AM
Locking yourself up is probably not sufficient for someone who is not a True Christian™. Such a sinner might well be tempted to let himself out before the month (better still, the 40 days suggested by Mr Ander - well done, Sir!) are up.
I would suggest getting someone else to lock you up. Would you like someone to call your local law enforcement officers about the many, many crimes you have confessed to? You could then read the KJV in the peace and quiet of your local county jail.
The unwashed fenian Bobby Sands lasted 66 days on hunger strike. Can you perhaps extend your absence from these forums and beat that, this time in the name of Jesus? 2 Corinthians 6:4-7.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Unsaved trash, a Rich Joo (Luke 16:24)
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Posts: 258
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: NYC LA SFCA
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Clearly my attempts to re-acclimate are still shoddy. I seem to still have some demons that need to be excised. Locking myself up for a month with nothing but the kjv bible. Hope to be closer to being saved after memorizing the scriptures so I don't cause any more mess ups such as cutting brake lines to retards' cars.
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Brother Bubba,
This is ridiculous. G_d teaches us that we need to trust in Him and everything else will work out. I urge you to read the scripture found in Proverbs 3:5. G_d is greater than any demon and only through G_d will you find everlasting peace. Don't let any man condemn you. Go with the knowledge that G_d understands you. He made you! He loves you! I will add supplications to my G_d tonight for you.
Mike H.
Attorney at Law
A half truth is a whole lie.
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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-08-2017, 10:39 PM
I am locking myself up at midnight EST time. I fully intend to fast without water and food for this month as well. This is my way of suffering for the lord so that I may feel the pain that he felt. Do I think it will make me a True Christian after memorizing the Bible? No. Do I think that it will help me catch myself from future mistakes? Yes. If you do not hear from me on or after May 9th, it means that my faith was not unwavering enough and that I died.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-09-2017, 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Clearly my attempts to re-acclimate are still shoddy. I seem to still have some demons that need to be excised. Locking myself up for a month with nothing but the kjv bible. Hope to be closer to being saved after memorizing the scriptures so I don't cause any more mess ups such as cutting brake lines to retards' cars.
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Hey Bubba,
Does this mean that y'all will be gone from the forums for the next 30 days?
Just askin"
YIC
TT
P.S. A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person.
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-09-2017, 04:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor
P.S. A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person.
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You don't say. Pray tell how?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-09-2017, 04:58 AM
That is what I recommend for depression in my Sermon. Depression? It could be your lack of faith. I think you'll find them extremely helpful, or not, if you're going through a rough time.
Just out of curiosity, what did you do to anger God?
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-09-2017, 09:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor
P.S. A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person.
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Sir, the blind man is like so because it has been made so by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself!
2 Corinthians 4:4 - In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them
If anyone is going to fix his vision it ain't going to be some two bit ophthalmic bonesaw
Matthew 12:22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.
More Bible(KJV1611), less one-liners.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
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Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-09-2017, 10:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
Sir, the blind man is like so because it has been made so by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself!
2 Corinthians 4:4 - In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them
If anyone is going to fix his vision it ain't going to be some two bit ophthalmic bonesaw
Matthew 12:22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.
More Bible(KJV1611), less one-liners.
YIC
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Brother Doctor Niles,
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
Deuteronomy 28:28
“The Lord shall smite thee with madnesse, and blindnesse, and astonishment of heart.”
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-10-2017, 11:01 PM
Just checking in. I found a phone with built in JesOS. I think a demon may have been excised from me today but later escaped the fear of God. If this happened I sincerely apologize and hope that the appropriate actions were taken against it. It won't happen again. I would be more than happy to share some pictures of the cell I put myself in if you want. Also this KJV bible is awfully nice. I will also provide time stamps if you want to prove I am indeed not lying. I'm starving for Jesus.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-11-2017, 12:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq
G_d etc.
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Hello. Are you Jewish again?
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
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Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-11-2017, 06:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Just checking in. I found a phone with built in JesOS. I think a demon may have been excised from me today but later escaped the fear of God. If this happened I sincerely apologize and hope that the appropriate actions were taken against it. It won't happen again. I would be more than happy to share some pictures of the cell I put myself in if you want. Also this KJV bible is awfully nice. I will also provide time stamps if you want to prove I am indeed not lying. I'm starving for Jesus.
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Brother Bubba,
I am not trying to be funny but you titled the thread " Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. " [sic]. Please explain why, if it is supposed to be just you and a KJV Bible (1611 Edition), you have a smart phone and are able to post. Now, whilst I, personally, have no problem with "little, white lies", God most certainly does:
Proverbs 12:22
“Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.”
Proverbs Chapter 6
16 These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
I pray that you are not on the slippery slope.
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-11-2017, 06:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Just checking in. I found a phone with built in JesOS.
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I don't think so, dear. JesOS was developed at the Landover Baptist Institute of Creation Science campus in Freehold by born-again True Christians™ for born-again True Christians™. It's not available commercially to the unregenerated soul and one may purchase it in person only after a lengthy and comprehensive Department of Faith investigation is complete. This includes, but is not limited to, Guarantee of Salvation, signed by Pastor Zeke, extensive interviews with neighbors and coworkers, thorough evaluation of computer and spending history, and a two year unbroken tithing schedule, to be determined by the amount you truly love Jesus. As you have not achieved any of these landmark qualifiers, what you have is the computer program equivalent of a New York City street vendor's cheap Gucci bag, made in China and worth $1.27, thanks to the blood, sweat, and tears of the children who labored 16 hours a day for your little product.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-11-2017, 07:11 AM
Idk what to tell you Miss Mary. As for why this is here, I don't even have the answer. I found this. Take it if I'm unfit. I'm impressed by the technology. Whoever invented it even got rid of the ability to delete messages, phone contacts, etc. You really can't hide anything from God or Jesus with this device. I will have to tack on an extra ten days for breaking my silence, bringing my total number of days of silence to 40. Here, have the phone. The only thing I need to do is to keep memorizing the scripture.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-11-2017, 07:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Idk what to tell you Miss Mary. As for why this is here, I don't even have the answer. I found this. Take it if I'm unfit. I'm impressed by the technology. Whoever invented it even got rid of the ability to delete messages, phone contacts, etc. You really can't hide anything from God or Jesus with this device. I will have to tack on an extra ten days for breaking my silence, bringing my total number of days of silence to 40. Here, have the phone. The only thing I need to do is to keep memorizing the scripture.
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Bubba,
What about your ability to tell the Truth? Is that going to improve?
As I told you earlier God gets just a little displeased with liars.
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Locking myself up with nothing but the kjv bible. -
04-11-2017, 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Here, have the phone.
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Ew. I don't want it. It's probably got Apple's Turn-You-Gay Software running through it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
The only thing I need to do is to keep memorizing the scripture.
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Memorization isn't the key, dear. You can memorize any number of so-called holy books but what does that get you? Reading and understanding and trusting the Holy Word is what you need. You needn't pretend you understand. You can ask questions. I would suggest you read along with our fine pastors and professors in our Bible in a Year forum.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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