Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 184
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the first row at Church
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-24-2010, 08:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristotle
Yes, the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide are greatly under-reported. Every year, hundreds of people die from dihydrogen monoxide immersion. Even in its solid state, it can lead to death. In fact, an Olympian from one of those weird eastern european countries died through contact with solid dihydrogen monoxide this year at the Olympics. This could have been due to God's wrath toward these people.
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Indeed, and I wouldn't be surprised if bottled water had dihydrogen monoxide in it, seeing as how it's now found in lakes, resovoirs, fertilizers, and even food! Obviously Satan is trying to poisen us in the shape of bottled water.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-24-2010, 11:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GodIsAlmighty
Indeed, and I wouldn't be surprised if bottled water had dihydrogen monoxide in it
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Indeed. It is a known fact that dihydrogen monoxide is in all junkfood, is fatal if inhaled and may cause severe burns.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-25-2010, 12:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Indeed. It is a known fact that dihydrogen monoxide is in all junkfood, is fatal if inhaled and may cause severe burns.
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Not only that, Brother! Scientists have recently discovered that homosexuals consist for 70% of dihydrogen monoxide! To the True Christian™, this speaks volumes.
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 184
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the first row at Church
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-25-2010, 02:21 AM
I had a friend who constantly intook dihydrogen monoxide. I could see the effects, he was constantly sweating, urinating, and always told me he felt gloggy.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-25-2010, 03:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GodIsAlmighty
I had a friend who constantly intook dihydrogen monoxide. I could see the effects, he was constantly sweating, urinating, and always told me he felt gloggy.
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He felt what now?
Don't you mean "groggy?"
Are a slope?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 184
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the first row at Church
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-25-2010, 05:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
He felt what now?
Don't you mean "groggy?"
Are a slope?
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I apologize, Pastor Zeke, I have made a typo. But anyhow, he was very unenrgetic and lethargic. At first when he told me this, I suspected Jesus must be angry with him, but now it appears it is due to a chemical created by satan (thus why it's not here http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...periodic+table)
Side note: apparently the hindoos bathe themselves in dihydrogen monoxide as a form of "celansing". Witchcraft, if you ask me
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 68
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Candy Island
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-26-2010, 07:23 PM
Oh, you people have an issue with everything. Anyways, Bottled water is pretty stupid. I can get water for free right here in the kitchen. Why would I wanna spend my hard earned cash on something I have for free?
I heard once the French came up with bottled water. Not too sure how true that is, but I'm sure that's one of the reasons why the French think Americans are stupid.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-26-2010, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by That Catholic Chick
I heard once the French came up with bottled water. Not too sure how true that is, but I'm sure that's one of the reasons why the French think Americans are stupid.
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Does your dad know you're posting, girl?
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 184
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: In the first row at Church
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-26-2010, 09:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
Does your dad know you're posting, girl?
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She did say "right here in the kitchen" so at least she's not somewhere she wouldn't be...
Also, being a cat-lick, I do hope your father doesn't rape you too much, although then again papists like little boys, not girls...
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
02-27-2010, 01:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by That Catholic Chick
why the French think
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Actually they don't think at all, they are either retarded or drunk.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 36
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
03-03-2010, 07:18 PM
everyone has commented on the dangers to humans, but it is a Danger to the earth. Did you know that dihydrogen monoxide can rust steel and erode rock. This substance needs to be eliminated from our planet in the name of God
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 27
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: In the presence of the Lord
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
03-03-2010, 08:45 PM
I do not think that water itself is evil, for God himself created it, He put it on earth, and He made it the most abundant resource on his wonderful earth. I think it was just because there was very little sanitation during the time of Jesus, and the water was a high cause of disease, so they drank more alcohol, which killed germs and bacteria, and this is why people on the seas would often mix alcohol with water, because the water was often contaminated and the alcohol would kill the germs. This is why more mead, wine and beer were consumed but since the good lord has graced us with clean tap water, and wells with water softeners, we do not have to worry about this so much today. So water is not evil, however the bottling of water can be good and bad. it is good because it promotes capitolism, and not the sinful communism, but at the same time, the shape is a phallic symbol. So bottled water may be an evil, however water in general i doubt that it is
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
03-03-2010, 11:38 PM
"When this man tasted the water, which had now become wine" John 2:1-11
Jesus chose to turn water into wine for a reason– Jesus is ALWAYS right, so we must assume that Jesus chose to turn the water into wine because water is inherently evil.
Look at the FACTS-- the Scripture!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: n/a
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Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew? -
03-04-2010, 02:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by grantedgrace
I do not think that water itself is evil, for God himself created it, He put it on earth, and He made it the most abundant resource on his wonderful earth. I think it was just because there was very little sanitation during the time of Jesus, and the water was a high cause of disease, so they drank more alcohol, which killed germs and bacteria, and this is why people on the seas would often mix alcohol with water, because the water was often contaminated and the alcohol would kill the germs. This is why more mead, wine and beer were consumed but since the good lord has graced us with clean tap water, and wells with water softeners, we do not have to worry about this so much today. So water is not evil, however the bottling of water can be good and bad. it is good because it promotes capitolism, and not the sinful communism, but at the same time, the shape is a phallic symbol. So bottled water may be an evil, however water in general i doubt that it is
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I don't think they did it to kill germs. You see, there's no such thing as a "germ". They are not mentioned in the 1611KJV Bible. Illness is due to demon possession or the Wrath of God™. Maybe I'll believe you if you can show me a germ. I've never seen one, and I refuse to believe in something I can't even see or have proof of!
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