[Pastor Ezekiel]

Brothers and sisters, I just received THIS bulletin from the DOF. Apparently we are currently in the month called "Ramadamned" by the terrorist islamofascists. While they blow themselves up 12 months a year, they only starve themselves for one, so we need to show our gratitude to Jesus and hold as many feasts as possible during this satanic celebration.

Ladies? Can I count on you to double up on your pie baking for a while? Brothers, can we ask you to each sponsor a neighborhood barbecue feast, complete with suckling pigs, at least once a week during this vitally important time to show your patriotism?

Time to show that "these colors don't run"!

Mudslimes starve=they embrace death

True Christians™ feast=we embrace life

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Far be it from me to volunteer you for anything, but isn't it about that time of the year for you to host another one of your totally fabulous pig roasts? It's the time of the Muslimiac year that we SHOULD be dining on roast pork as often as possible.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

Far be it from me to volunteer you for anything, but isn't it about that time of the year for you to host another one of your totally fabulous pig roasts?

Nonsense. Pastor Ezekiel loves to be put upon. Pastor Ezekiel's house it is.

Pastor, don't worry about dessert. I'll have the wife bake a few delicious loaves of spiced prune bread.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

I have a cousin who lives near his town's Is-lame-ic center. He says that it would be really easy to get a permit to use the park near the mosque. He says that because of the local geography, the park is usually upwind from the mosque.

[Brother Temperance]

But I still feel so full and bloated from that big Yom Kippur dinner last week... Still, I'll have to do something to celebrate. It'll have to be pretty good to top that time me and the boys broke into a raghead family's house while they were out for some bacon and beers. Man, you should have seen the looks on their faces when they got back!

[Sister Noddy]

Hmmm yummmy! Savory pork roast and fixin's and beers, nothing those sad and sorry moonhummadamns can eat, let em go hungry while we True Christians™ stuff ourselves!

(noddy got pies in the oven now)

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Another thing that's not supposed to be happening in Ramadamned is fighting, but we don't have to bother to do that, because the muslims are already always doing it!

It's one thing to have an absurd faith that calls for men marrying multiple 6-year-olds, but what I really don't understand is people who don't even practice what they preach! Muslims are supposed stop their bloodlust for just 10 days, but it seems they can never quite make it. Just look at this list of battles fought by Muslims during Ramadamadingdong-damned:

624 - Battle of Badr. On 17 Ramadan, Muhammad led his forces in Arabia to victory over Makkan idolaters. "The great battle of Badr" or "Conquest of Mecca", was the first battle between believers and infidels.

627 - The Battle of the Ditch. Muslims trained for this battle during Ramadan, though it occurred in the following month of Shawal.

630 - Battle of Tabouk (also called the Battle of Tabuk). The soldiers of Islam, under the leadership of Muhammad, established a training and fighting camp in Tabouk during the month of fasting, and attacked the Byzantine army.

653 - Conquest of Rhodes. Muslims plundered the Colossus of Rhodes, melted it and turned it into arms for the soldiers.

710 - Muslims led by Tarek bin Ziyad, invaded Spanish southern frontier cities on the Andalusian coast.

1099 - Battle of Ascalon. Took place on 22 Ramadan (August 12), the newfound crusader Kingdom of Jerusalem defeated Fatimid Egypt.

1187 - Battle of Hattin. Took place at dawn -- after the Night of Power (Lailat ul-Qadr); a night during the last ten days of Ramadan when tradition says that the angel Gabriel descended and God called Muhammad to be His messenger. (It is sometimes translated as the Night of Destiny.) Sultan Saladin (Salah Al-Din Al-Ayubi) wiped out the Frankish army and went on to reclaim Jerusalem for Islam. The battle took place on July 4.

1260 - Battle of Ain Jalut. Qutuz defeated the Mongols in Palestine.

1948 - Israeli War of Independence. Fighting took place over two Ramadans.

1962 to 1970 - Yemeni Civil War. Fighting continued through nine Ramadans.

1973 - Ramadan War (Elsewhere known as the Yom Kippur War). Egypt and Syria launched their attack on Israel it was called Operation Badr, and foot soldiers were given religious slogans.

1975 to 1990 - Lebanon's civil war. Fighting took place over the course of seventeen Ramadans.

1981 - Iran rejected Iraqi offers for a Ramadan cease-fire.

1982 - Iran launched an attack on Iraq that they explicitly called "Operation Ramadan."

1986 - Christian forces called for a Ramadan cease-fire, which lasted two weeks.

1987 - Iran again rejected Iraqi offers for a Ramadan cease-fire.

1987 to 1993 - The first Palestinian Intifada was waged over six Ramadans.

1990s - There were at least 20 examples of Ramadan violence by Muslims during the Algerian civil war.

2000 - Indian Prime Minister Atal Behari Vajpayee stated that India would initiate a unilateral cease-fire in observance of the holy month of Ramadan as a step towards peace in Kashmir. Nonetheless, widespread fighting continued between Indian forces and the guerrillas in Jammu-Kashmir.

2000 - Al-Qaida operatives tried to bomb a U.S. destroyer, USS The Sullivans, in the harbor at Aden, Yemen. It was the Night of Power. The suicide boat was overloaded with explosives and sank. Killed by their own savage bloodlust.

2000 - Al-Qaida successfully bombs the USS Cole in the same harbor at Aden.

2003 - After the 2003 Iraq war, suicide bombers struck at four locations, including the Red Cross headquarters, killing at least 35 people.

[Brother Lindh]

"Hmmm yummmy! Savory pork roast and fixin's and beers, nothing those sad and sorry moonhummadamns can eat, let em go hungry while we True Christians™ stuff ourselves!"

We also enjoy roasting pigs. We often roast your hired christian pigs with our roadside bombs while they are contained in your miserable Humyvees. Often they are heard to issue complaint of the heat to your jesus, but to no avail.

Praise Allah!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Brother Lindh

Praise Allah!

I'm shocked that they allow internet access to prisoners at guantanamo bay, but at least it disproves all those lies about ill-treatment.

Any lady evildoers with you in gitmo? No? Looks like the only thing you're roasting is weiner. Enjoy your weiner roast, infidel.