[Des]

As some of you know, I've been in Texas for the last week, giving Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick advice and moral support for his fight to keep our troops on the Mexican border. The tension finally broke Tuesday, and I needed to wind down. I decided to rent a movie. Big mistake!



I judged a book by its cover, or rather a movie by its title. The name Scott Pilgrim vs. the World evoked such positive images. To be honest, I was expecting a gun slinging Christian pilgrim bringing a taste of Old Testament justice to the Wild West. My mind’s eye could not have prepared me for the horrors that were to unfold.

I knew something was wrong from the very beginning, when I was informed it took place in Canada. There was worse to come, much worse.


Scott Pilgrim appears to be a clean-limbed if somewhat ungroomed young man with the potential to become a True Christian. This illusion, one of many, was nothing more than a lure to suck the viewer into a world of unholy debauchery. It is soon revealed that Scott is dating a fiendish succubus, Knives Chau.



Knives, like many young Chinese women, has cultivated the mouthwatering attractiveness and submissive, devoted mannerisms that are designed for the sole purpose of luring unwary white men away from women of their own kind. She is a juicy worm on Satan’s barbed hook, ever seeking to lead pure white men astray. Being decidedly un-True Christian, Scott has fallen into her sickening trap.


Deuteronomy 7:3-4 You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.



Horrified yet? Well just wait. We also learn that Scott plays in a heavy metal band, the Sex Bombs.



Ecclesiastes 7:5 It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.

To heap horror upon horror, Scott’s roommate, Wallace, is also his bedmate. And also homersexual! Yes, you read that right. Even though Scott is mildly offending God by carrying on with a petite, soft spoken, flawless skinned, rosy lipped, sparkling eyed Chink Seductress, he willingly chooses to lie in bed with not only a homersexual, but the homer’s homer lovers!


Leviticus 18:22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

Then Scott meets Ramona Flowers, a lascivious, promiscuous American strumpet who tries to rival the Whore of Babylon. Ramona is so vain that she changes her hair color more often than a NASCAR pit crew changes tires. Scott dumps Knives and pursues Ramona.


1 Peter 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear.

Proverbs 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Scott is promptly lured into Ramona’s bed after she plies him with a date-rape drug she calls Sleepytime Tea. After their sinful liason, it is revealed that Scott must do battle with Ramona’s past lovers.


First fight: Matthew Patel, a cross-dressing Muslim fire-wielding sorcerer who consorts with demon hippie chicks. Scott destroys him in a fistfight.


Deuteronomy 22:5The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.


Leviticus 20:27 A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.

1 Corinthians 10:21 Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils.


Second fight: Lucas Lee, a tattooed skateboarder and movie star. Scott destroys him by tricking him into doing a deadly skateboard trick.



Leviticus 19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.


Third fight: Todd Ingram, a spike-haired heavy metal bass player in the blatantly Satanic band The Clash at Demonhead. Todd gets his infernal powers from being a Vegemite. Scott defeats him by first tricking him into drinking coffee with half & half which causes him to lose his ‘Vegemite edge’, then having him be fingered by a pair of homersexuals who inexplicably show up, then head butting him into oblivion.



Genesis 9:3 Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

Romans 14:2 For one believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.

Fourth fight: Roxy Richer, a teleporting lezbean. Scott defeats her by making her see that a man can satisfy her.



Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:


Fifth fight: the dragon-summoning Katayanagi brothers, whom Ramona presumably laid with simultaneously. Scott defeats them by somehow summoning a giant monkey. The metaphor looms too large to ignore. The movie is saying that Darwinism (the monkey) has the power to defeat Satan (the dragon).


Isaiah 27:1 In that day the LORD with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea.

Exodus 20:3 You shall have no other gods before me.


After the battle with the brothers, Scott discovers that Ramona has returned to her last lover, Gideon Graves. Gideon is clearly the better man, offering Scott’s band a record deal as a sort of consolation prize. Scott rejects Gideon’s generous offer, though the rest of the band accepts it.


Scott returns to his homer home to discover Wallace engaging in a gay orgy. Gideon, ever the better man, calls Scott to again extend his courtesy and invites Scott to his nightclub. In a graphic display of how vile homersexuals are, Wallace urges Scott to go to the club and fight Gideon.


Scott goes to the club, where for a third time Gideon shows what a gentleman he is by remembering Scott’s favorite soft drink and having one brought to him. Scott spurns the kind offer and attacks Gideon’s minions, then Gideon himself. Even though Knives appears and helps Scott do battle, Gideon defeats and kills him.


Then things get really perverse. Scott awakens in the desert, clearly hell. There he encounters Ramona, who reminds him somehow that he has the Godmocking power of resurrection. We also discover that Gideon had sent Ramona’s ex’s to battle Scott because Ramona rightfully belongs to him. Ramona, it turns out, is actually Gideon’s slave, and he has an electronic gizmo in the back of her head to control her. Scott resurrects, fights Gideon again, and with the help of Knives, kills him this time. After an anti-climactic encounter with his negative-self (an allusion to the anti-Christ, perhaps), Knives bows out to the superior succubus, then Ramona and Scott float through a doorway.


I was too stunned for words after the credits rolled. I finally managed to stumble to my prayer closet and spent the rest of the evening in prayer. This movie, this…this…this vile Thing, is pure Satanic propaganda! This is a recruitment tool for the infernal!



To recap, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World promotes:
Homersexuality
Lezbeanism
Miscegenation
Vanity
Promiscuity
Sorcery
Demons
Transvestism
Vegemitism
Heavy Metal music
False gods
Darwinism
Resurrection without God


This movie should be avoided at all costs, and any stores carrying it should be boycotted.It serves no purpose other than to turn the youth of America away from God and introduce them to demonic infestation by encouraging them to dabble in the evils of the world and temptations of the flesh. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is the fast track to hell.

[A smart ass named luke]

That's an interesting on a good movie, though I would recommend the books, the're much better.

[Motty the Zit-Faced Lezbean]

I remember when I was lured into the devils trap enjoying that movie. I dare not watch it again, I can just remember watching that movie go from one sin to another. What do I do with the disc as I own it? I'm terrified of what might happen if it stays in my house any longer

[Jim Farmer]

They're great for target practice (provided you're not a good shot)

and I've heard they don't tolerate the microwave too well

[MitzaLizalor]

Not another of those idiotic "coming of age" propaganda flicks? Foolishly I did a quick search and was revolted at how that trollop threw herself at this addled youth.

That is what we're expected to do.
"If I say yes, can we make out now?" summed it up nicely and although I'm not altogether sure what make out is I'm guessing it's sort of like bonking so a definite satanic subtext.

Satan just wants to convert the whole world into a crazed brothel and she already had a boyfriend?
You can see it everywhere, the outward veneer of respectability twin set and pearls but see how they walk? See how they look at one another?
They might as well be Adonis in a sealskin or Venus in furs for all the good it does.

They are both satan really, but big cinema makes sure no-one reads The Bible or if they do it's high as a kite on alkaloids and fornication so thank you for posting your alert.
I will definitely NOT be watching this.