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Reload this Page LBC JR. PASTORS!! Lying about the size of your MANHOOD is a SIN!!!
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Angry LBC JR. PASTORS!! Lying about the size of your MANHOOD is a SIN!!! - 05-23-2014, 05:45 PM

Friends,

I need to report a VERY disturbing incident that happened yesterday in the Landover Baptist Semenary for Jr Pastors.

It was a typical Wednesday, Abigail prepared my lunch and I made my way to over to the lecture hall. As I was walking down the stairs I overheard a conversation:

"No really, it is that big!!"

"Yeah right, then show us!!"

"No it's not, that's not 10 inches."

10 inches!! That is one thick thesis, I thought. When I rounded the corner, the smile came off my face faster than a lightening bolt from God. To my horror, Jr. Pastor David Austen was standing with his pants around his ankles and surrounded by the other Jr. Pastors...staring...at....it!!

He quickly whipped up his pants, but viewing it, they were right, that wasn't 10 inches. I was immediately reminded of a passage in the book of Leviticus, and as True Christian™, it is my duty to educate our Pastors-in-Training. This was not easy, but I had him drop his pants and measured his seed dispenser. It was in fact only 9 inches. Now LISTEN UP, ALL OF YOU!!!

Leviticus 19:35 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment, in meteyard, in weight, or in measure.

Or in measure....what does the Bible tell us about lying?

Proverbs 19:9 A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.

So I lectured him; what if Sister Basillisa happened to walk in? There are no heart defibrillators in the semenary!! What if Brother Ex-Gay Alex walked in, he might have a full on relapse!! How would I explain to David Austin's mother he was viciously raped - and that would be two members of the congregation gone. It was at that moment Pastor Ezekiel walked in and stopped dead in his tracks, he was visibly shaken.

"WHAT IS THIS?"

After I explained to him what had happened, he merely told David to follow him. I have not seen them since. I can only assume there is some serious Bible study going on.

The measure of your manhood is not something to be proud of or boast about (Proverbs 11:2 I should know). It is a tool of Jesus for creating Soldiers for Christ!!! And that's IT!!
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