General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 03:06 PM
BLESSINGS
On Your
SPECIAL DAY!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 285
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Islamic Caliphate of Germany
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 04:03 PM
dear Sister Valvoline! You know your place, and that makes you a credit to your race. May your testimony be heard among your kind!
Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 04:32 PM
A very blessed birthday to you, Sister Valvoline!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 05:20 PM
I do so miss Sister Vavoline. She has not come here for quite some time. She may have been called to do missionary work in Liberia. If so, she has likely been called to her reward due to the Ebola they have over there.
Happy Birthday Vavoline and God Bless!
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 05:54 PM
I thought her blessed nigress heart gave away, but I must be wrong.
Happy Birthday Sister V, wherever you are!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 06:40 PM
Her boy still owes me $1700 for ruining one of my titanium rims. I paid the boy $5 to wash and wax my Custom Escalade, and he puked all over one of the rims!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 07:47 PM
Happy Birthday Ms. V. Hope you are well and living a True Christian life and not off touring with some half blind blues musician, again.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 08:19 PM
Happy birthday, Miss Johnson! May the Lord bless you with chitlins and watermelons and whatever form of fried chicken is your favorite! Oh mercy, I've just made myself hungry again, but you have a wonderful day!
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-05-2014, 11:27 PM
Happiest of Birthdays, Sister Valvoline!
I pray the Lord blessed you with lots of barbecue, collard greens, and no drive-by shootings in your neighborhood on your special day! Glory!
In Him,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-06-2014, 12:20 AM
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-06-2014, 07:52 AM
Where is she anyway? I sure hope she wasn't accidentally rounded up in one of those Ebola sweeps we're having.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Helping boys become upright model citizens
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,293
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-06-2014, 12:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Her boy still owes me $1700 for ruining one of my titanium rims. I paid the boy $5 to wash and wax my Custom Escalade, and he puked all over one of the rims!
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You are lucky he didn't steal them! I never have given that boy a job to wash those sweet rims. They are far too valuable and tempting to the negro. The next time you need a rim job, call me. Some of the trustworthy boys in my youth Prayer Circle can help you out.
"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 516
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Mission for Men, topeka Kansas
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
10-07-2014, 06:41 PM
After having that dream with missus Valvoline in it :
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=54458
I always kinda keep a soft spot for her, for a while anyway.
If your reading this Valva, come back and tell us!
Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Mammy
Forum Member
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Posts: 961
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: floriduh
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sister Valvoline Johnson! -
03-29-2016, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
I do so miss Sister Vavoline. She has not come here for quite some time. She may have been called to do missionary work in Liberia. If so, she has likely been called to her reward due to the Ebola they have over there.
Happy Birthday Vavoline and God Bless!
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Well , I done missed you too. I got myself a Mac computer and done locked myself out of Landover. Couldnt even remember what form of Vav I used to git in here.
..well the good Lawd figured it out and here I is! All shiny and black like jeezsuz made me!
Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
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