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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 04:53 PM
I am a woman, but sometimes I get strange urges that make me think I should be a man.

I don't know what to do because I know that in being born a woman I can't decide to change and be a man, it's just not right.

How can I fight these urges?

Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 04:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
I am a woman, but sometimes I get strange urges that make me think I should be a man.

I don't know what to do because I know that in being born a woman I can't decide to change and be a man, it's just not right.

How can I fight these urges?
That's disgusting and very unnatural.
You need to talk to your Pastor immediately as it could very well be a Demon.

Never try to be anything that God did not make you.


Sister Talitha

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HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
I am a woman, but sometimes I get strange urges that make me think I should be a man.

I don't know what to do because I know that in being born a woman I can't decide to change and be a man, it's just not right.

How can I fight these urges?
What kind of urges make you think you should be a man? The only urges you should have are cooking, cleaning, ect. I'm confused.
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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 05:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
I am a woman, but sometimes I get strange urges that make me think I should be a man.

I don't know what to do because I know that in being born a woman I can't decide to change and be a man, it's just not right.

How can I fight these urges?
Read the Bible, pray, and completely submit to the will of all honest Christian men you encounter. This is very important. Jesus hates transgenderism a lot. If women start trying to be men, then men will start becoming sissified vegetarians who can't even kill Muslims, and society as we know it will collapse. I have a dedicated archive of over 5000 images showing transgendered abominations performing various unspeakable acts and let me tell you it is not pretty, not in the slightest. Is that really what you want for your life? Jesus says no!

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 05:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnnyboy View Post
What kind of urges make you think you should be a man? The only urges you should have are cooking, cleaning, ect. I'm confused.
Sometimes I want to touch other women.

Vegetarians?! You mean like PETA? Oh no. :O

Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
Sometimes I want to touch other women.
That's disgusting. Anyone who wants to touch anyone they're not married to is wrong in the head. Since women can't marry women, the idea of them touching other women is just pure craziness. The very idea!
Maybe when you get these urges, you should bake some cakes to take your mind off them. Obviously no-one would want to eat cakes that were produced as a product of sinful urges, but it's good practice, and the cakes could be useful for throwing at gypsies or something.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 05:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
Sometimes I want to touch other women.

Vegetarians?! You mean like PETA? Oh no. :O
SCOOP recently performed a successful exorcism on two lesbians. I'm thinking of going into private practice. You could be my first patient.

Let me know if you want to review the three step process to become an ex-lesbian.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 06:02 PM
I agree, Brother Lazarus, it sounds like the first stage of demonic possession. First, it starts off as a little "feeling" here and there that creeps up from the unconscious. The second stage becomes repetitive thought. The third stage the person begins to experiment with these feelings, hoping that it will relieve them of the obsession, however this is what the demon wants and it becomes stronger. The fourth stage is full-blown lesbianism and the woman finds herself in dyke bars and pride rallies.

Let untreated, the demonic lesbian spirit can become permanently attached to the person's soul and forever remain a slave to the demon. The entity latches onto a person's soul, and over time it begins to "graft" itself onto the soul. At that point seperation and exorcism is impossible.

The key is to treat the woman early as possible. Fortunately this patient here is in the first stage, so treatment should be quite simple and straightforward.

Oh, Brother Lazarus, one last thing....my lawyer finished up the final draft of the liability release forms that we will require all women to sign before we exorcise them. It's so well-written and clever, basically we can do whatever we want need to do to drive the demon out and it's perfectly legal. This should put an end to some of lawsuits that have arisen from our most holy exorcist practices. I'll fax you over the draft this afternoon.


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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 06:02 PM
Screw the lessbeings.

More Jesus talk
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Cool Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 06:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
Sometimes I want to touch other women.

Vegetarians?! You mean like PETA? Oh no. :O

Ah.... todays issue that you will denounce by dinner time........

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-09-2009, 06:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Oh, Brother Lazarus, one last thing....my lawyer finished up the final draft of the liability release forms that we will require all women to sign before we exorcise them. It's so well-written and clever, basically we can do whatever we want need to do to drive the demon out and it's perfectly legal. This should put an end to some of lawsuits that have arisen from our most holy exorcist practices. I'll fax you over the draft this afternoon.
Excellent work Rev. Jim.

We are going to need a corporate name and a logo. Any ideas?

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-10-2009, 03:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
That's disgusting. Anyone who wants to touch anyone they're not married to is wrong in the head. Since women can't marry women, the idea of them touching other women is just pure craziness. The very idea!
Maybe when you get these urges, you should bake some cakes to take your mind off them. Obviously no-one would want to eat cakes that were produced as a product of sinful urges, but it's good practice, and the cakes could be useful for throwing at gypsies or something.


Oh, deary me. Brother Temperance, please forgive me for my intrusion, but the devil is to blame for this. He's very tricky, you know and will do ANYTHING to destroy one's relationship with the Lord.

Dear girl, fight these urges, FIGHT I say, with all of your being. Pray, bake and clean. These are the things that you have been put on this earth for - and for heaven's sakes, get yourself a husband and put those thoughts about touching women out of your head. Bear him many Christian Soldiers - you will be so busy you won't have time to think.

You are in my prayers.

Mary

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-10-2009, 01:51 PM
Okay, I will go to my cousin's house later to-day for a prayer session (she is Christian) and then we will bake some cakes. As long as I fight (pray) and continue doing womanly things I should get better, right?

Leviticus 19:15
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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-10-2009, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
Okay, I will go to my cousin's house later to-day for a prayer session (she is Christian) and then we will bake some cakes. As long as I fight (pray) and continue doing womanly things I should get better, right?
And stop dressing like a whore. Don't forget that.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-10-2009, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
Okay, I will go to my cousin's house later to-day for a prayer session (she is Christian) and then we will bake some cakes. As long as I fight (pray) and continue doing womanly things I should get better, right?
Good for you Annie. Is it OK if I call you Annie? Your user name is hard to type. How do you say that anyway? Well, nevermind.

I just wanted to say that you are doing the right thing by not wanting to be gay. There was this one girl in my school who thought she was might be gay, so she used to hang out with these older, totally dykey girls who lived downtown. She started dressing all weird and I think she even DID IT with a couple of those dykes!

So anyways, about a month later, her brother who was in Iraq got shot and he almost DIED!!!

So if you act all gay, God might have someone you know get shot, which would be terrible. I would feel super awful if God shot somebody just because I let some lesbo do stuff to me!

Tammi



Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to? Reverend Jim Osborne can help!



He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4
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Anesthesia Anesthesia is offline
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Anesthesia is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Anesthesia is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-10-2009, 08:20 PM
I will stop dressing like a whore and even burn my whore clothes.

And I would never want anyone to get shot by God because of that! I will make sure not to do any dykey things.

Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-10-2009, 10:09 PM
Maybe we're onto something here. Properly administered anesthesia would put an end to strange urges.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.
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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-11-2009, 12:52 AM
I baked some muffins with my cousin. They are amazing.

Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

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Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-11-2009, 12:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anesthesia View Post
I baked some muffins with my cousin. They are amazing.
I shudder to think what that is a euphemism for...

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Mr Novack is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Mr Novack is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Strange Urges - 07-12-2009, 07:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Jesus hates transgenderism a lot.
Now how do you know that?
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