Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page My Ministry to The Japs
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default My Ministry to The Japs - 09-08-2012, 11:20 PM

As you all know, I spend quite a bit of time over in Godless Japan. I thought it might be useful (okay, and the Board of Elders insisted) that I start posting some of my findings from slantland, the better to keep you all safe (and my budget intact).

This is the kind of thing I have to put up with over there.


They call these "manjoo" which is japspeak for "man juice" I'm pretty sure. They're sold on every street corner.




Here's a sale at a department store. Can you imagine?



You can't avoid seeing the local monkeys sporting shirts with obscenities on them. Japan isn't safe for decent people.



Here's the local meat market. You don't wanna know.



Here's a local festival. They actually worship big American tallywhackers like this one.


That's all for now. Ask if you've got questions.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 09-09-2012, 10:25 PM

THIS group of jungle chinks are being persecuted for being Christians, and I'm the one that brought them to Christ!

Well, mostly. They don't really understand Christ's Blessings, and they are suspicious that they won't be let into Heaven on account of them being little yellow devils. Plus they want to bow down to statues of Jesus, because they're used to doing that to their ex-god, the obese chinaman "Boodha." And now the government wants to force them to spit in Christ's face and start worshiping the fat chink god again.

See what I have to go through? You can't win for losing. It took me 2 years to get those slants to convert! And now look at them: they won't even take a beating for Christ!

Quote:
Myanmar Christians forced to convert

Bangkok - Christian students from Myanmar's Chin ethnic minority have been forced to convert to Buddhism, shave their heads and wear monastic robes, a rights group said on Wednesday.

The Chin, a mainly Christian group in the poor and remote west of the predominantly Buddhist country, face harassment for the link between their faith and British colonial rule, according to the Chin Human Rights Organisation (CHRO).

"President Thein Sein's government claims that religious freedom is protected by law but in reality Buddhism is treated as the de facto state religion", said Salai Ling, Programme Director of the CHRO.

Rachel Fleming, another member of the group, said Christianity does not fit with an ultra-nationalistic view put forward by successive military regimes that "to be Burmese, you should be Buddhist".

Chin students are also frequently targeted for enrollment in schools run by Myanmar's military which convert them to Buddhism, she said, adding that Christian students are beaten for failing to recite Buddhist scriptures.

Poverty among the Chin, whose main source of income is farming, leaves the group vulnerable to recruitment to these schools as the military offers free food, education and government jobs once they graduate.

Chin state, which borders India, is home to around 500 000 people. Tens of thousands have fled to neighbouring India to escape army abuses under the former junta, according to rights groups.

In its annual report this year Amnesty International said Chin Christians still face persecution, citing the case of a preacher barred from speaking at a church and ordered to leave the area.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Old Man Hatchet's Avatar
Old Man Hatchet Old Man Hatchet is offline
Super Moderator
Beloved Church Elder
World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Christian Love True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Gold Tither 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award Gunfest '09 Heaven Bound Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Babysitter Hands Off

 
Posts: 2,071
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Old Man Hatchet will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 09-10-2012, 05:48 PM

The way that slant-eyed trollop is chugging down that dessert dong really gets my dander up.



Also, as an American and an entrepreneur, I am outraged that the Japs didn't have the economic ingenuity to sell the testicles separately, and the testicles themselves individually. Their profits would have been tripled. Now, I am the humblest person on God's great, green earth--I literally taught lessons in humility at Oral Roberts University back in the '70s--but those tallywackers are laughable. I lost three quarters of my sizable Johnson back in the war, and I still have them beat by a long shot.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Rev. M. Rodimer's Avatar
Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member

One Year/1000 posts Gunfest '07 True Christian™ Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager Long service medal, 3rd class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Pastor of GOD Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Ex-Masturbator Ex-Masturbator 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Public Awareness Medal True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Christian Love Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 09-11-2012, 03:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post


Here's the local meat market. You don't wanna know.
I can't believe it! They sell their aborted babies at the meat market?!

And he's obviously the father. How cold can a man be?!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 09-11-2012, 05:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
The way that slant-eyed trollop is chugging down that dessert dong really gets my dander up.
Yeah, it's almost like you want to slap her in the back of the head and see how much she can really take.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 09-11-2012, 10:20 PM

Are those things nip Twinkies®?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 09-12-2012, 11:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Are those things nip Twinkies®?
Close. The correct term is nip dinkies.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 02-23-2013, 02:10 AM

They have the damndest things to drink over here in slope land. This stuff isn't bad. Tastes like pickles a little.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 02-23-2013, 03:46 AM

They definitely eat weird things, these little Asians.




But they are a studious bunch. I have to give them that.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 05-29-2013, 02:56 AM

THIS is the latest craze to sweep the slants: "The Masturbation Diet."
It was started by a chink who wanted to find a way to lose weight and offend Jesus at the same time.

Quote:
The "Masturbation Diet"

The Subway diet. The cabbage soup diet. The junk food diet. From Atkins to the Zone, there is an array of diets to help people slim down. Have you heard of the masturbation diet? You know, the one in which you drop pounds by playing with yourself furiously.

According to the jap magazine Nikkan Spa, a 28 year-old with the alias "Yuichi Ito" was able to lose nearly 9 pounds in two months, simply through watching his diet and flogging his log between three and five times a day. (Supposedly, Ito's record was seven times in a single day.)

While in high school, Ito played baseball, but gained weight after he graduated. The 5 foot 5 inch Ito ballooned to 167 pounds, which would be considered overweight by Japanese standards. Ito decided that a good way to drop the excess pounds was to cut calories and have more sex. With himself.

"I read online that pleasuring oneself was the same as running 200 meters," said Ito. "Without a girlfriend, the only way I could become thin was through masturbation!"

(Well, he could've taken up walking, jogging, swimming, or Praying to Jesus. But Ito chose to play with his magic wand, so whatever!)

Interestingly, Nikkan Spa had a doctor chime in as to whether or not the masturbation diet was healthy.

"The issue with the effectiveness of this diet is that while you are exhausting your body, you are not consuming calories by using physical strength," said Satoshi Yoshijima, a dermatologist and doctor of internal medicine in Tokyo. Dr. Yoshijima also added that excess self-stimulation can adversely impact hormone levels.

Besides, who wants to risk going blind, hairy palms or eternal damnation, just to drop nine pounds? Not worth it!

オナニーダイエットで4kg減!に医者も苦笑 [Nikkan Spa]


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Sammy The Penitent's Avatar
Sammy The Penitent Sammy The Penitent is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 289
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 05-30-2013, 06:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
THIS is the latest craze to sweep the slants: "The Masturbation Diet."
It was started by a chink who wanted to find a way to lose weight and offend Jesus at the same time.
I think that's how they also get those squinty eyes.


2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Barry's Avatar
Barry Barry is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian Caucasian

 
Posts: 266
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The lost Isles of Britain
Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.Barry has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 05-30-2013, 09:00 PM

I hope you were fully immunized before rubbing shoulders with them Gooks. I'd stay well away from them if I were you. I don't know if it was Nagasaki or Fukoshima but seem to have radiation problems that can pixilate the area around your genitals.


The Lord is my shepherd.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Russell Holbeck's Avatar
Russell Holbeck Russell Holbeck is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Real American™ Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Touched by Jesus Touched by Jesus A for Effort Beautiful on the Inside Pastor Ezekiel Sniffer Heart of compassion

 
Posts: 728
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Manalapan, FL
Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Russell Holbeck will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 05-30-2013, 09:30 PM

Hello Pastor Ezekiel.

I do not know how you can work around those people they smell bad. After I killed my wife it was an accident I had a chinaman helping me and all he would eat was rotten cabbage he called it kimchee I am not making that name up.

The chinaman would have very bad flatulence because he ate rotten cabbage and I told him I would fire him if he did not stop. He told me ha ha ha ha even Jesus farted and I called him a blasphemer but he said he would look it up and the next day he said it was in Luke 12:55 it says:

And when ye see the south wind blow, ye say, There will be heat; and it cometh to pass.

He said ha ha ha ha ha the south wind makes heat and then he pointed at his bottom and then I fired him and now a colored girl works for me she smells like coconuts which is nice.

Thank you.

Rusty


Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Sammy The Penitent's Avatar
Sammy The Penitent Sammy The Penitent is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 289
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: On Earth now, waiting for the rapture
Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.Sammy The Penitent has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 05-30-2013, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell Holbeck View Post
now a colored girl works for me she smells like coconuts which is nice.
Huh....My colored girl smells like coconuts too....I wonder if they all do.

YIC


2 Samuel 11:13 And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 11-15-2013, 03:06 AM

I'll tell you what, I am in constant danger over there in slant-land. Look what I have to deal with!

Quote:
Japanese cooked his genitals and served them to diners

A Japanese man has been charged with indecent exposure after cooking his genitals and serving them to diners in a restaurant. The man had, had his penis and testicles surgically removed by a physician in March and had them frozen. After being certified free of infections, he served them up, and garnished them with mushrooms and parsley, to his paying guests.

The man Mao Sugiyama, 23, charged his five diners around £160 to eat his genitals at a restaurant in Suginami, a residential area in western Tokyo. Officers from Tokyo’s Metropolitan Police Department (MPD) have filed criminal papers against the man and some of the people who had helped organise the genital eating event and sent them to the Tokyo district public prosecutors’ office. If Mao Sugiyama is found guilty of charges, he will face either two years in jail or a 2.5 million yen ($32,000).

Mao Sugiyama who goes by the nickname HC describes himself as an ‘asexual’ illustrator. As well as having his genitalia removed he has also had his nipples removed. Originally he had considered eating his own penis and balls however decided to serve them to paying customers instead whilst being supervised by a chef.

The event was announced on social networking site Twitter, where he offered to cook his penis for £800. Afterwards however he decided to split his member and serve it to six guests.

His Twitter posts stated:

‘I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen (£800). I’m Japanese.’

‘The organs were surgically removed at age 22. I was tested to be free of venereal diseases. The organs were of normal function. I was not receiving female hormone treatment.’

‘First interested buyer will get them, or I will also consider selling to a group. Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location. If you have questions, please contact me by DM or e-mail.’

The event was attended by at least seventy people at the restaurant, five of them at Mao’s genitalia whilst the rest tucked into beef and crocodile. Those who ate the penis, testes and scrotum meal had to sign a waiver to state that Mao Sugiyama would not be held responsible if they became ill as a result.

Now I ask you, who's going to believe a lying chink? Who's going to believe that a family of 6 can be fed on a tiny gook tallywhacker?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Mark L. Snyde, PhD's Avatar
Mark L. Snyde, PhD Mark L. Snyde, PhD is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot Flat Earth Sons of Liberty Kirk Cameron Fan Club Persecuted Paula Deen Negro Support Group Truck Stop Ministry Member Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,284
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Following The Rules
Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mark L. Snyde, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 11-15-2013, 03:12 AM

Pastor Ezekiel, I shall pray that the Coq Au Vin you are served there is the crowing variety of cock and not the flowing variety.




I Kings 7:23

And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 11-16-2013, 11:49 PM

What is it about the slopes that makes them fascinated by the effluvium of humanity?

Genesis 38:9-10 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.

God bless


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,751
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 11-21-2013, 04:11 AM

I'm surpised he didn't use a little nutmeg.


Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 12-29-2013, 07:23 AM

Well the slants have found a new way of enraging Jesus, and I'm sorry to say I was witness to it. Some jap invited me to be a judge at what I thought was going to be a Bible Recitation contest. Once inside, the doors are bolted and THIS is what happened next.

Quote:
World Record in Japan: Largest Orgy

Japan has successfully set a new world record. Having 250 men and 250 women who commenced to have sex in the same place at the same time, completing the world biggest orgy ever!

The Orgy, which can be purchased on DVD, was held in a warehouse with a professional camera crew taking pictures and recording the entire event, which was pretty hot and sticky.

Imagine what it must be like to come stumbling across a room filled with 500 people having oral sex and screwing their brains out. Not to bad a way to end your day huh?


It all seemed a little too organized for our personally liking but leave it to the Japanese to accomplish a goal. Especially if it had anything to do with naked women and sex.

The entire event was actually filmed and available for purchase on DVD (NSFW!) for around $40.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
IreneS IreneS is offline
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Cleanest Kitchen Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.IreneS has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: My Ministry to The Japs - 12-29-2013, 09:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well the slants have found a new way of enraging Jesus, and I'm sorry to say I was witness to it. Some jap invited me to be a judge at what I thought was going to be a Bible Recitation contest. Once inside, the doors are bolted and THIS is what happened next.
I wonder why so many of those women seem to have little square pieces of paper attached to their nipples
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
chinks japs and gooks, japanese erotic zone, pastor ezekiel

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved