The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-01-2015, 04:06 AM
I hate to have to bring this up in public, but here goes. Ever since buying a summer home in Freehold, I've been complaining to Mayor Hold about the eyesore that is Brother Machine's van. I've even offered to lend Brother M one of my Hummers until he can afford a decent ride. Yet every Sunday morning, I was struck with the sight of his van parked near the Sunday School plaza.
[IMG] [/IMG]
However, last Sunday the van wasn't anywhere to be seen. Finally, I thought, Brother Mayor Hold had finally had a talk with Brother M.
And yet yesterday morning, while taking my morning stroll, what did I see parked across the street from the Low Income Sunday School/Laundry Service Center?
[IMG] [/IMG]
Coincidence? I think not!
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-01-2015, 08:54 AM
I offered to buy Brother Faith Machine's van two weeks ago, but he wouldn't dream of it. Then he asked me to sell him my ice cream truck. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was starting another youth outreach ministry! I told him I would bend over backwards to help him with that. He looked at me funny and said, "I know". What in the world has gotten into him lately?
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-01-2015, 09:00 AM
Thank God that disgusting truck with the "Free Candy" is gone. With that socialist Bernie Sanders rising in the polls we can hardly set a bad example to our children with messages of socialism. We can't afford to produce another generation like the present entitled, inept, and insufferable Millennials - to say nothing about another Obama style communist in office.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-01-2015, 09:18 AM
That reminds me, has anyone heard from Cookie?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
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Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-01-2015, 11:31 PM
I think it is high time someone table a motion at the next city council meeting and propose that all vehicles within the city limit be no more than 3 years old, with the exception of fully restored classic vehicles of course.
Furthermore, this whole harebrained notion of 'self expression' by painting nonsensical messages on the sides of vehicles needs to stop. Stencil your company logo on the vehicle, for goodness sake, or get a professional detailer to do it for you. This town deserves aesthetics and good taste. Does anyone want God to drop in on us only to have to have Him look at crudely painted signs and rusty rattletraps?
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-02-2015, 01:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
I think it is high time someone table a motion at the next city council meeting and propose that all vehicles within the city limit be no more than 3 years old, with the exception of fully restored classic vehicles of course.
Furthermore, this whole harebrained notion of 'self expression' by painting nonsensical messages on the sides of vehicles needs to stop. Stencil your company logo on the vehicle, for goodness sake, or get a professional detailer to do it for you. This town deserves aesthetics and good taste. Does anyone want God to drop in on us only to have to have Him look at crudely painted signs and rusty rattletraps?
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I agree with you on the nonsensical messages. However, having Jesus stickers and logos and whatnot is in good taste, obviously:
Doesn't that last car belong to one of our Godly Pastors?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-02-2015, 02:27 AM
But Sister, that is Divine expression, not self expression. Two entirely different things.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-02-2015, 05:36 AM
This is where you get the real candy!
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-03-2015, 02:11 AM
Whenever I spoke to Brother Machine about his van he would tearfully tell me how much he loves little children and how much they love his candy.
As a compromise, he has updated both the van and the quality of his candy.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Curry slurping demon
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Posts: 323
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-08-2015, 09:28 AM
Yes, it is Harsha Shah here. I hope I am not offending anyone but I am just thinking that Mr. Machine is a very kind man and he would be deserving of a nice car, as well! Yes. I am thinking that you christians mostly use your motorcars to go to Church and to have sermons, apparently Mr. Machine is also doing some delivery of free samples of sweets. Yes, I think that he is very sweet, too (I hope this is not offending). This is showing everyone that regardless of the religion, people can embrace non-violence and goodwill towards all creatures. Yes.
"Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."Yes. Women are saving lives. It is time we are speaking! Yes!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,290
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Location: In Jesus' lap
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-09-2015, 09:53 AM
Maybe there were traces of Mistress Cookie in his old van - hair, stiletto shoe marks, maybe she even scrawled help messages on the inside. Maybe her body is in it!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-10-2015, 01:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
Maybe there were traces of Mistress Cookie in his old van - hair, stiletto shoe marks, maybe she even scrawled help messages on the inside. Maybe her body is in it!
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Possibly, but I doubt it. I glanced in a few times, just to see what kinds of duffel bags he might have in there. All I ever saw was duct tape, rope, and pillowcase-sized burlap sacks. Come to think of it though, I never saw any actual candy.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-10-2015, 01:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
Possibly, but I doubt it. I glanced in a few times, just to see what kinds of duffel bags he might have in there. All I ever saw was duct tape, rope, and pillowcase-sized burlap sacks. Come to think of it though, I never saw any actual candy.
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It's perfectly normal for a candy-based ministry to carry tools of the trade. I teach all my boys to always carry rope with them, just in case the Lord calls upon you to bind anything for Him. The duct tape can be used to fix just about any situation you might find yourself mixed up in. And the burlap bag was empty because he gave away all the bulk candy that came in it. Brother Faith Machine's been very busy with his outreach! Praise Jesus!
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-10-2015, 05:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry
It's perfectly normal for a candy-based ministry to carry tools of the trade. I teach all my boys to always carry rope with them, just in case the Lord calls upon you to bind anything for Him. The duct tape can be used to fix just about any situation you might find yourself mixed up in. And the burlap bag was empty because he gave away all the bulk candy that came in it. Brother Faith Machine's been very busy with his outreach! Praise Jesus!
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Amazing how we professionals pack accordingly, isn't it? As a Christian Psychotherapist, I keep in my trunk a mixture of ketamine and xylazine for use on women who are prone to hysteria, various chains & restraints for self-abusive patients, lockable panel gags with 6 inch rubber buffers to prevent then from chewing off their tongues, and of course a 60" waterproof duffel bag that can carry up to 110 lbs, because frankly, who needs to carry a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ anything over five feet t̶a̶l̶l̶ long and weighing more than 110 pounds anyway?
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 582
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my husband
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-11-2015, 02:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
Maybe there were traces of Mistress Cookie in his old van - hair, stiletto shoe marks, maybe she even scrawled help messages on the inside. Maybe her body is in it!
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Samuel and I were wondering the exact same thing, Brother. Samuel thinks that someone should take a look at Brother Machine's old van.
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Does FM Have a New Van? -
09-14-2015, 09:13 AM
click image for typical interior
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harsha Shah
Yes, it is Harsha Shah here. I hope I am not offending anyone but I am just thinking that Mr. Machine is a very kind man and he would be deserving of a nice car, as well!
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And here's some literature to go with it
& click header icon for xlnt bleating lamb with rotating head
Quote:
http://objectiveministries.org/creation/kangaroo.html
As you can see, the logic is inescapable -- Kangaroos must have once lived in the Middle East. Any claim that they didn't must then be treated as refuted. But still there are questions that are left to be investigated. For instance: why are there no kangaroos left in the Middle East? how come we do not hear of kangaroos in the histories of the region? and how did the kangaroos get to Australia?
First, let me point out that the word "kangaroo" was coined by the Australian Aborigines after both they and the kangaroos had migrated to the Australian continent (which, at the time, was still indirectly connected to the Middle East, see inset). The word kangaroo means "I don't know" in Aboriginese. The story goes that when the first modern Europeans arrived in Australia, they saw a large hopping animal and asked one of the natives what it was called. "Kangaroo [I don't know]," he responded. It is understandable that he couldn't name the animal since his people had lost all knowledge of their Biblical heritage and thus would not have known the name given to the animal by Adam (Gen 2:19). Obviously, the peoples of the Middle East would not have called these animals by the name "kangaroo", and so the naive assertion of Biblical skeptics that since the word "kangaroo" is absent from the ancient Middle East so too must the kangaroo be, is patently absurd.
That kangaroos are not mentioned in the Genesis account of the Flood, either by name or description, is unsurprising due to the great number of kinds of animals that were in the Ararat area at the time. What's a kangaroo or two among a great throng of pandas, mastodons, velociraptors, and giraffes? It is also likely that the kangaroos only spent a relatively short time living in the Middle East, needing to leave with greater haste than other animals in order to reach their appointed destination before the breakup of Pangaea (see next section).
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