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Default EMBARRASSMENT IN THE CHAPEL - 09-19-2015, 11:24 AM

I am very disappointed! The new dedication design showing the word “ARISE” and The Cross has produced nothing but subversive giggling and has detracted from the serious business of Salvation.

The unintended message has been explained to me and I am now investigating why “Freethinker Designs of Des Moines” was ever contracted for this work.

Name:  Arise.jpg
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In the meantime, the chapel is closed.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: EMBARRASSMENT IN THE CHAPEL - 09-21-2015, 01:21 AM

Well, I, for one, think it looks just right. It's like a tall Cross is standing firm to support the top of the sanctuary... Like Jesus Himself is pitching a tent for us. Praise God!


Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
-Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Default Re: EMBARRASSMENT IN THE CHAPEL - 09-22-2015, 08:39 PM

I fully understand, Brother Bathfire. The giggling from the children followed by the howls of anguish as the Rod of Justice was being administered disrupted my personal contemplation of why God Loves me.

I am also a bit displeased at the starkness of the chapel. While I know a few on the decor committee are color blind, it needs some red velvet and golden embellishments befitting Jesus. I also think a few edifices to remind all of the seriousness of Christianity and how easily He can smote entire towns (perhaps a mural of a great flood or infestation of pestilence?)
I was at a little Church in West Virginia a few weeks ago and they had a life size 'Jesus on a Cross' and some sort of mechanism pumping the blood of local virgins so He bled and dripped continuously from the spikes in His Ankles and hands. Really quite magnificent and captivating.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: EMBARRASSMENT IN THE CHAPEL - 09-23-2015, 12:26 AM

I too find the place a bit sterile - and the spiral staircase (forget for the moment where it leads - is it the choir loft? - and where is the pipe organ) is right out of that post-modernist deconstructivist nitwit Frank Gehry's sketch book. Then there is all that glass - obviously borrowed from Philip Johnson because they couldn't think of anything else. There must be an IKEA nearby, as someone went shopping for the seating (or maybe the budget was running low as Helmut Jahn was so fond of saying) - and if I was a tither I would be more than a little upset. It all looks like a 21st Century Bolshevik union meeting hall.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: EMBARRASSMENT IN THE CHAPEL - 09-23-2015, 12:28 PM

I'm sure those horridly hard bench seats were commissioned by Pastor Zeke to prevent certain people from falling asleep during his marathon sermons.


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Default Re: EMBARRASSMENT IN THE CHAPEL - 09-24-2015, 01:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
I'm sure those horridly hard bench seats were commissioned by Pastor Zeke to prevent certain people from falling asleep during his marathon sermons.
Oddly enough, those were the brainchild of Brother FM Fred, whose business savvy shines like a light of heaven. He had observed that fast food restaurants with uncomfortable chairs saw a faster table turnover rate as people finished their meals quickly, then departed to make room for other customers. Seeing how this could apply to delivering the Word to more people, he approached Pastor Zeke and pitched the idea, then even offered a closed bid to supply the pews himself.

And it worked! Donations were up 49% within the first month, reflecting an increase in Walk-In Salvation. The revolving doors that were added 6 months later weren't quite as helpful in bringing sinners to God, increasing donations a mere 2%. Just goes to show, you can't save every soul, no matter how fast you get them in and out.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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