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burger Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 04-16-2015, 03:42 AM

We have a new policy at my house that I thought I would share here, so that other women may benefit from my wisdom as head of a Christian household. This has brought our family closer together, and it has all brought us closer in Him.

From now on, all of your food should be in the shape of the Cross. You're probably already making excuses. Just stop. Anything can be shaped into a Cross if you chop it up.

You're welcome, ladies.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-06-2015, 09:19 PM

Thank you, Brother. I have employed this very technique in my home since your advice, and I would like to report a very positive response. Between serving all our food in the shape of a cross, and covering the corners of the family computer and television so the only visible parts are in the shape of a cross, my family has definitely noticed a difference!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-06-2015, 10:09 PM

My dogs are enjoying it too. Because the bits are cut out of my fillet steaks, I need twice as many steaks. Which means not just the offcuts from one piece of steak, but the offcuts of 2 pieces for the dogs.


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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-06-2015, 11:41 PM

This thread gave me an idea. To spice up my relationship with my wife, I have asked her to carry a cross over her shoulder at all times. We'll see if it makes her more tolerable to have around the house.


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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 12:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
This thread gave me an idea. To spice up my relationship with my wife, I have asked her to carry a cross over her shoulder at all times. We'll see if it makes her more tolerable to have around the house.
Be careful! I had my wife do that once. I reprimanded her about something and as she turned around to face me, the cross took a great chunk out of the wall, broke my gilt statue of Jesus and hit me in the face. After that, she was forbidden from carrying the cross anywhere.


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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 01:03 AM

Deep fry.
Nothing says "I Love Jesus" more than the sound of something falling into the deep fryer. Well, not a child, they let out terrible screams and just ruin a pious meal with my guests (Sorry Pastor, that one will not disrupt us again).


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 07:03 AM

Stop bragging about how much you would be getting paid if you were working a real job.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 12:54 PM

That is ridiculous. There is no mention of praying to Jesus or birthing on that list.
A woman is utterly incapable of doing anything that requires decision making.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 08:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
***Feminist Man Hating Image Removed***
This is patently ridiculous. There's no difference between a housekeeper and janitor, and managing facilities on the computer does not require double pay. This is just one more example of Big Feminism trying to undermine the God-given authority of men by pretending women have some productive value. Of course women have productive value. We alone produce the perfect environment for a man's seed to take root and develop into a Soldier for Christ, given sufficient gratitude, from which humbleness and obedience are inspired.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 09:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
This is patently ridiculous. There's no difference between a housekeeper and janitor, and managing facilities on the computer does not require double pay. This is just one more example of Big Feminism trying to undermine the God-given authority of men by pretending women have some productive value. Of course women have productive value. We alone produce the perfect environment for a man's seed to take root and develop into a Soldier for Christ, given sufficient gratitude, from which humbleness and obedience are inspired.
I agree sister. It should not be taken for granted that without women, there could be no male offspring. That, at least, is something.


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-07-2015, 09:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
I agree sister. It should not be taken for granted that without women, there could be no male offspring. That, at least, is something.
Unless of course God decided to go back to Population Growth Through Bone Transplant [transplanting rib into full woman]. In His Infinite Wisdom however, it seems He has decided instead to take the opportunity to remind women during each and every Insemination Event of her justified position as subservient to Man. A woman is reminded not only by her physical position under her husband, but in recognizing his scrunched up face as the look of the sheer courage and fortitude required to undergo such an undignified and physically taxing act he must now perform in service to the Savior because of the Sin of Eve.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-09-2015, 04:26 AM

So true! My dear husband's loving and brave actions of impregnating me reminds me all the time of why women are inferior to men. It's just a reminder of Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Timothy 2:15.


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-09-2015, 12:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Unless of course God decided to go back to Population Growth Through Bone Transplant [transplanting rib into full woman]. In His Infinite Wisdom however, it seems He has decided instead to take the opportunity to remind women during each and every Insemination Event of her justified position as subservient to Man. A woman is reminded not only by her physical position under her husband, but in recognizing his scrunched up face as the look of the sheer courage and fortitude required to undergo such an undignified and physically taxing act he must now perform in service to the Savior because of the Sin of Eve.
It is most regrettable that a woman must actually be touched in order to produce male offspring. If a male could be produced by a rib the way Eve was, this would certainly be preferable. It seems that by this rudimentary process it is more likely that a woman, maybe even a retard, could be produced, but not a man.


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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-09-2015, 05:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
It is most regrettable that a woman must actually be touched in order to produce male offspring. If a male could be produced by a rib the way Eve was, this would certainly be preferable. It seems that by this rudimentary process it is more likely that a woman, maybe even a retard, could be produced, but not a man.
It is our shame, Brother, as the weaker sex, to know that men must suffer under this system that is a source of continued indignity. Women are the objects of such humiliation to Man. On behalf of all women, I heartily apologize for our many faults, and our many deficiencies that the Good Lord, in His Infinite Wisdom, has decided will be the Natural Law. From our wombs are brought forth retards and dwarfs and coloreds and girls, and those of us who have been touched by the Goodness of the Lord know the depths of this offense.

I am so sorry.

To Mr. Etheldreda, to my sons, and to men in general.


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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 05-09-2015, 05:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
It is most regrettable that a woman must actually be touched in order to produce male offspring. If a male could be produced by a rib the way Eve was, this would certainly be preferable. It seems that by this rudimentary process it is more likely that a woman, maybe even a retard, could be produced, but not a man.
Sweet, Darling Billy Bob,

Can I get you to stop by to help me with a diseased cottonwood tree in the front lawn? I am having a new one delivered next week but this one has to be gone by then.

I promise pie! Your choice.

NRL


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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 06-05-2015, 05:43 AM

There are some wonderful tips in here that I'll be sure to employ. It feels like whenever I have the opportunity to visit these forums I learn something wonderful. Thank you True Christians™ for constantly providing me with the tools to better serve my husband and God.
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Thumbs up Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 06-05-2015, 06:40 AM

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Originally Posted by KateSanders View Post
There are some wonderful tips in here that I'll be sure to employ. It feels like whenever I have the opportunity to visit these forums I learn something wonderful. Thank you True Christians™ for constantly providing me with the tools to better serve my husband and God.
Sister, I have no doubt that someday you'll be fetching beers for Jesus in Heaven with the best of them...bless you!
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 07-13-2015, 09:39 PM

I'm just 21 years old, so I don't think I'm ready for a husband yet, I don't even have a boyfriend, but the day I get married, both my husband and I are going to work and we're going to help in the house together, I think it will be a nice life
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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 07-13-2015, 09:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnimeAndMangaLover View Post
I'm just 21 years old, so I don't think I'm ready for a husband yet, I don't even have a boyfriend, but the day I get married, both my husband and I are going to work and we're going to help in the house together, I think it will be a nice life
What you don't understand is that this life, the one in which you can interact with people, feel joy, pain, hopes, fears, the life in which you can plan for the future and share with loved ones, will be like a drop of water in the ocean when compared to the next life. While it's true we're not able to interact with anyone in eternity yet, and while it's true that we can't know the effect of eternal happiness might have on hopes or fears, or even plans or anticipation, these kinds of mysteries don't stop the True Christian™ from loving and obeying Jesus as He wants (John 14:15). In fact, nothing stops the True Christian™ from loving and obeying Jesus as He wants. Not consideration of practical matters like clothing, or what your marriage should look like, or how to treat animals. If you truly loved Jesus, you would know this. But you don't truly love Jesus. You truly live your life as if He was just your side-kick, tagging along for the ride, whispering encouragement in your ear when you feel you need it most. You're talking about an invisible friend, dear, not the King of the Universe.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Ways Women Can Work Harder to Please their Godly Husbands and be Better Women Overall - 07-13-2015, 09:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
What you don't understand is that this life, the one in which you can interact with people, feel joy, pain, hopes, fears, the life in which you can plan for the future and share with loved ones, will be like a drop of water in the ocean when compared to the next life. While it's true we're not able to interact with anyone in eternity yet, and while it's true that we can't know the effect of eternal happiness might have on hopes or fears, or even plans or anticipation, these kinds of mysteries don't stop the True Christian™ from loving and obeying Jesus as He wants (John 14:15). In fact, nothing stops the True Christian™ from loving and obeying Jesus as He wants. Not consideration of practical matters like clothing, or what your marriage should look like, or how to treat animals. If you truly loved Jesus, you would know this. But you don't truly love Jesus. You truly live your life as if He was just your side-kick, tagging along for the ride, whispering encouragement in your ear when you feel you need it most. You're talking about an invisible friend, dear, not the King of the Universe.
I was talking about myself, not about God
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