Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 12:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Withers in Hell will be more like it.
GOD hates back sassing uppity women. But Satan will have her mouth full when he jams his giant throbbing tally wacker in it. At least it will finally shut her up.
|
What is it with you people and your obsession with the size and shape of demonic p******?
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
Last edited by Virginia Day Templeton; 03-23-2008 at 01:27 AM.
Reason: Removed the P-word
|
|
X-Aussie Evangelist
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 496
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Way Way out there somewhere i think!!!!!
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 12:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Withers in Hell will be more like it.
GOD hates back sassing uppity women. But Satan will have her mouth full when he jams his giant throbbing tally wacker in it. At least it will finally shut her up.
|
Hmmm she will probably still find a way to murmur something whilst in that position with a mouth like she has.
(2 Peter 3:10)
But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
|
|
Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 01:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Field of Poppies
Once they're 18
blah blah blah
will get you arrested.
|
zzzz . . . huh?
Oh, sorry. I fell asleep. Did you say something interesting or relevant?
Thought not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Field of Poppies
What is it with you people and your obsession with the size and shape of demonic p******?
|
I'm sure Sister BTB is just hoping to find something large enough to fill your cavernous pie-hole, in order to stem the flow of sleep-inducing boredom currently issuing forth like so much effluent.
|
|
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 03:59 AM
Despite what those weirdo "doctors" who got their "degrees" from some self-declared "institution" (by the way, one thing that has always intrigued me is why all those doctors who got their degree from an institution are always trying to send people there???? Isn't there a parellel here with those who graduate from higher institutes of "learning" are always trying to get others to go there?), I am a well-adjusted scientist who had some...issues in my younger years. When I first came to Landover, I was nearly overwhelmed with the offerings of Godly Manly guiding. In fact, Pastor Ezekiel was one of the kindest, and spent many hours guiding me in my faith and leading me on the path of righteousness. There was this one time, when I was working on my paper on the intricacies of sandals that could be worn inside of a burning fireplace when I questioned whether the story of Daniel in the fiery furnace was true, and he immediately tore off his belt and spanked me until my eyes grew watery and my body was relieved of my ailment. And for that I could not be more thankful.
It is difficult to stay on the Straight & Narrow™--don't let anyone fool you! But with proper guidance, one can stay True®. Remember, a shepherd uses his crook on his sheep and may gouge their neck sometimes, but in the end, it isn't eaten by a lion.
Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 113
Join Date: Mar 2008
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spanked by Zekey
Pastor Ezekiel tore off his belt and spanked me until my eyes grew watery and my body was relieved of my ailment. And for that I could not be more thankful.
|
Sounds very un-holy and rather kinky. Well.... as long as you enjoyed being spanked by one of Landovers finest...
Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 03-23-2008 at 11:24 AM.
Reason: quote fixed
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 12:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
Despite what those weirdo "doctors" who got their "degrees" from some self-declared "institution" (by the way, one thing that has always intrigued me is why all those doctors who got their degree from an institution are always trying to send people there???? Isn't there a parellel here with those who graduate from higher institutes of "learning" are always trying to get others to go there?), I am a well-adjusted scientist who had some...issues in my younger years. When I first came to Landover, I was nearly overwhelmed with the offerings of Godly Manly guiding. In fact, Pastor Ezekiel was one of the kindest, and spent many hours guiding me in my faith and leading me on the path of righteousness. There was this one time, when I was working on my paper on the intricacies of sandals that could be worn inside of a burning fireplace when I questioned whether the story of Daniel in the fiery furnace was true, and he immediately tore off his belt and spanked me until my eyes grew watery and my body was relieved of my ailment. And for that I could not be more thankful.
It is difficult to stay on the Straight & Narrow™--don't let anyone fool you! But with proper guidance, one can stay True®. Remember, a shepherd uses his crook on his sheep and may gouge their neck sometimes, but in the end, it isn't eaten by a lion.
|
Sounds like what your body was relieved of was its man gravy.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
|
|
Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Field of Poppies
Sounds like what your body was relieved of was its man gravy.
|
Wow, you've managed here to combine "disgusting" and "boring" in one simple sentence. Reading your post is much like washing down a Valium with castor oil or ipecac.
I can't say that I see the value in this combination of sedative and emetic.
|
|
SATAN'S FAVORITE BONIFIED PERVERT!
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,054
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here, right now
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 11:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Wow, you've managed here to combine "disgusting" and "boring" in one simple sentence. Reading your post is much like washing down a Valium with castor oil or ipecac.
I can't say that I see the value in this combination of sedative and emetic.
|
No one forces you to read my posts, sweetsie. Feel free to skip them if you find them uninteresting.
Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-23-2008, 11:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy
No one forces you to read my posts, sweetsie. Feel free to skip them if you find them uninteresting.
|
I can think of another alternative, you mindless slut.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 113
Join Date: Mar 2008
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 05:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Wow, you've managed here to combine "disgusting" and "boring" in one simple sentence. Reading your post is much like washing down a Valium with castor oil or ipecac.
I can't say that I see the value in this combination of sedative and emetic.
|
I actually found it quite amusing. Keep up the good work Dancer
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 05:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy
No one forces you to read my posts.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by lady_c
I actually found them quite amusing. Keep up the good work Dancer
|
Amazing. Somehow, the somnambulator has found a fan.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 113
Join Date: Mar 2008
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 05:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I can think of another alternative, you mindless slut.
|
Hmmm, how is she a slut? Insults should be partly true otherwise it doesn't work....
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 05:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lady_c
Hmmm, how is she a slut? Insults should be partly true otherwise it doesn't work....
|
Dances with Death has been haunting our Godly forum for years now, under a variety of assumed names. If you had been forced to read all of the filth she has forced upon us, you would agree with me. Of that I have no doubt.
She is an advocate for every kind of immoral perversion under the sun.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 06:00 AM
Something about "man gr@vy", whatever that is.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 113
Join Date: Mar 2008
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 06:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Dances with Death has been haunting our Godly forum for years now, under a variety of assumed names. If you had been forced to read all of the filth she has forced upon us, you would agree with me. Of that I have no doubt.
She is an advocate for every kind of immoral perversion under the sun.
|
That makes her a slut how? It makes her a thilthy potty mouth. Last I heard she is inlove with her husband not piffleing (edit that word if you want) numerous men.
Try this one.....
I can think of another alternative, you keyboard warrior from hell.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 113
Join Date: Mar 2008
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 06:13 AM
piffleing, hmmm, the word filter sucks...
ok try i'll try this again...
Last I heard she is inlove with her husband not landing numerous mens junk.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 06:19 AM
someone just needs some help cleaning up her language.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 06:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lady_c
Last I heard she is inlove with her husband not landing numerous mens junk.
|
Dear Friend,
Most women are "in love with their husbands not landing numerous men's junk." A husband who does land numerous men's "junk" is bad news for a wife.
Yours in Him,
bab
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 113
Join Date: Mar 2008
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 06:24 AM
Ummm, I'm sure it is bad news for a wife if the husband turns out to be gay...
What the???
|
|
Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
|
|
Re: Dealing with Young Adults - (SPANK THEM) -
03-24-2008, 08:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Field of Poppies
No one forces you to read my posts, sweetsie. Feel free to skip them if you find them uninteresting.
|
Well, Field of Poppies,
I react to your posts much the same way as I expect you react to a car accident.
Much as you cannot help but slow down and look, even though you know there's a horrific wreck awaiting your gaze, I cannot resist reading your posts.
Similarly, as you feel compelled to stop and crawl around the wreckage looking for wounded infants and small children so you may sacrifice them to your pagan demons, then drink their blood and eat their flesh like some warped Catholic, I find myself unable to stop responding to your dull-witted musings.
Just as you vainly hope that your demons will grant you powers beyond your wildest dreams, I pray -- perhaps equally an exercise in futility -- that you will either stop posting entirely, or learn to post interesting and relevant things instead of witless off-topic one-liners.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|