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Default Racist DMV Porch Monkey Refuses to Recognize my Race! - 03-27-2016, 02:37 AM

I am still fuming over my run-in with an uppity coonette at the DMV yesterday.


I seldom drive myself anywhere, so was amazed to discover that my license had expired when a cop pulled me over for slightly exceeding the speed limit in a school zone the other day. Why it matters whether you are doing 15 or 97 in a school zone when none of the kids are in the street is a mystery to me.


He was going to write me a ticket until I explained that I was rushing to the side of my dear, sweet little Millie who was going into labor. Somehow the officer got the impression that Millie was my wife, not my prize coon hound, but I was in such a hurry that I didn't take the time to explain his erroneous assumption. He instead gave me a warning ticket on the condition that I get my license renewed as soon as possible.


I had my driver take me to the DMV and one of my security guys waited inside until my number was next in line. I made it inside just as my number dinged. I stepped up only to be confronted by a sour-faced, thick-lipped, turnip-shaped Negress. It was when she handed me my new license that I saw the mistake.


"Excuse me, ummm, Chlorine, but there seems to be a mistake." I said to her.

"Is there a problem, sir?"

"Yes there is. It says here that I'm Caucasian. Shouldn't that read Native American?"

"Your old license says Caucasian, sir." the insolent curr replied

"Yes, well, I've never actually looked at it. I assure you, I am a Native American."

"Which tribe do you belong to?" she asked.

"Well, that's hardly any of your business, and we call it a church, not a tribe. I'm Baptist."

"Sir, Baptists are not Native Americans."

"I beg your pardon! I was born in America. My daddy was born in America. My mother was born in America. I am an American, and seeing as I was born here, I am by definition a Native American."

"That isn't how it works, sir."

"Are you denying my status as a native born American?"

"It is a question of heritage, sir. I am an African American for example."

"So you get to claim to be an American, but you are denying me that same right? I'll have you know that my birth certificate is in my desk at home. I can send my driver back to fetch it and prove to you that I am an American citizen."

"Heritage, sir. It applies to your ancestrial heritage."

"My heritage is Christian. Baptist to be specific. We've already been over that. Now I demand to see your superviser!"

"Sir, you're holding up the line. Here is a complaint form. If you'll fill this out and submit it to our office, we'll look into the problem. Now can you please step aside so the next person in line can be assisted in a timely manner?"

"Step aside? Are you telling me to step aside? What next? Are you going to demand I use a different restroom? Drink from a different water fountain? Why I've never been so insulted!"

"Sir, don't make me have to call the police."

"Just give me the form. I'll get a copy back to you and send one to our state rep, to the governer, and to our senators. You haven't heard the last of me!"

"Thank you, sir. Have a nice day."


Can you believe the audacity of this racist spear chunker? Now Negroes are free to claim White Christians are not Americans!


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Bible Re: Racist DMV Porch Monkey Refuses to Recognize my Race! - 03-28-2016, 01:37 PM

Brother Des,

You bring up a very important issue here. There's a common misconception in this country that Indians are native Americans. It is a misconception because it implies that the Indians are somehow more entitled to the ownership of America. That statement couldn't be more removed from the Truth™:

God is very clear on this matter:

Genesis 1:
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Subdue
earth. That's agriculture. Have dominion over the animals. That's domestication of animals. The Indians, while they lived in America, never subdued it nor took dominion over it (things like corn, chili peppers, and turkeys don't count). Therefore, they never really owned this land, but rather rented it, until we the white people came and civilized this land. Therefore, we are the true™ native Americans, which is the reason why languages like Anishnabe and similar atrocities are taught in the Foreign Languages Departments at respectable universities.

Quod erat demostrandum
.
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Smile Re: Racist DMV Porch Monkey Refuses to Recognize my Race! - 03-29-2016, 08:53 AM

Yes, Mr. Des, It is Harsha Shah here.

I am also thinking that it is not our colour nor our genes that are determining our Native country where our heart belongs to. Yes. I am also very happy to be living here in the United Kingdom and I was born here, too. Yes. I am very sorry that in your country people are not willing to accept you as you are but I am very happy that here in Scotland no-one is questioning my being British. The children at school are very used to dealing with people of all colours as native people and I am teaching them to be very tolerant of others. Yes. My grandparents who were arriving from Gujarat have not always been as fortunate but those days are gone now. Yes.

This is like the story of the blind men and the elephant. One is feeling only the legs and thinking that they are columns and one is touching the ears and taking them as drapes. Today people are less and less blind and we are seeing a multitude of alternatives where there was only one. Yes. I am very happy for your post, Mr. Des. Yes.


"Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak."
Yes. Women are saving lives. It is time we are speaking! Yes!
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Default Re: Racist DMV Porch Monkey Refuses to Recognize my Race! - 03-30-2016, 01:34 AM

Thank you, Hashish, or however you pronounce it.


I admit, I just sort of skimmed over what you wrote. Too many 'yes's in it and not enough scripture for my taste.


The one thing that did stand out though was your mention of the Godly Republican symbol, the elephant. I'm glad to see that a smidgen of common sense is catching on over there in the Yuck or Uk or however you pronounce it. Hopefully the Republican party will sweep through the Yuck, depose your inbred queen, and make a stand for God and Values for once in your miserable history.


YIC


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Racist DMV Porch Monkey Refuses to Recognize my Race! - 03-31-2016, 04:28 PM

It was racist of her to assume you or your ancestors were from the Caucasus just because you have white skin. Why this is still acceptable, yet calling a random Oriental person "Chinese" constitutes a hate crime, is beyond me.

Also, thank you for translating the hood-babble so that normal people can understand it. I'm sure that wasn't easy.


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Default Re: Racist DMV Porch Monkey Refuses to Recognize my Race! - 04-01-2016, 04:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
It was racist of her to assume you or your ancestors were from the Caucasus just because you have white skin. Why this is still acceptable, yet calling a random Oriental person "Chinese" constitutes a hate crime, is beyond me.

Also, thank you for translating the hood-babble so that normal people can understand it. I'm sure that wasn't easy.
I've never understood why injuns were ever called "Native Americans" in the first place - they were nothing but illegal alien Eskimos that supposedly snuck across an arctic "land bridge" caused by the last ice age.

Christopher Columbus discovered America while looking for a trade route to China where he didn't have to deal with the mooselimbs.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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