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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-03-2011, 09:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.
It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!
Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!
Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.
Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.
Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?
I await your reply.
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Umm, ok. Neurotransmitters, including epinephrine, course through the body in times of peril. This can produce a wide variety of strange sensations, including, but no limited to, warming of the body. Also, since there was light radiating from the explosion, he used his eyes to stab the Vietnamese soldier.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-03-2011, 09:55 AM
I wonder if the stains have ever been tested! After all Al was cook so it could well be Pasta Sauce!
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-05-2011, 06:36 PM
You naysayers just make me want to puke. Godly Marines® do not lie.
As for you, Mr. Freddie, when I read that drivel about pasta sauce I immediately made a quick trip to the vestibule. I compared the blood on the bible to the stain on my robe and can attest that is not pasta sauce on display.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-07-2011, 10:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
You naysayers just make me want to puke. Godly Marines cooks do not lie.
As for you, Mr. Freddie, when I read that drivel about pasta sauce I immediately made a quick trip to the vestibule. I compared the blood on the bible to the stain on my robe and can attest that is not pasta sauce on display.
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Is the stain of the same age as that on the Bible?
There are also many different recipes for Pasta sauce.
So even if the stain on your robe was from the same period, if it is not the same type of sauce it is not going to look the same.
All you can attest to is that the stains on the bible are not of a sauce made to the same recipe and as old as the sauce on your robe.
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Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-08-2011, 01:27 AM
That story never gets old. The Lord has guided righteous soldiers and Marines hands for centuries.
I once made a 350m shot through an open window(on another street!) with my M203 during a near-skirmish in a small village near Rhabis Dhiti. The 40mm HE detonated in the center of the room killing three plainclothed terrorists disguised as college students from the city. One was weeks from getting her doctorate in terrorist medicine! Imagine Osama Bin Dingdongs sister is your kids doctor! The miracle was that I wasnt even aiming! I was just walking along pointing it at different things and it mysteriously fired on it's own. I know Jesus fired that shell.
Pastor Pistle once told me that Jesus prefers helping Marines over the other branches because we are so devout. I believe him. Athians will never be able to explain these sort of combat related miracles. Their narrow minds are too closed to believe it.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-08-2011, 02:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
That story never gets old.
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Or any more believable
Any way he is a little marching song for your Marsh'
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Righteous and Patriotic Highest body count at the VFW
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-08-2011, 04:27 PM
Are you calling Pastor Pistle a liar?
I am getting flush with righteous anger.
God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-08-2011, 08:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
Are you calling Pastor Pistle a liar?
I am getting flush with righteous anger.
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Not a Liar, that would imply a conscious desire to mislead, it is just that some of his "experiences" in Nam may have distorted his view of reality.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-08-2011, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAShadow
hahaha maybe someone could explain it, if it had been true. Karl Marx died in 1883, long before any "Vietkong". Also, he died after being ill for 15 months.
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No-one claimed that Pastor Pistle killed Karl Marx, so that doesn't undermine the story in any way. In fact, it's just more proof that God exists - God hated Karl Marx, and now he's dead. Glory!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Not a Liar, that would imply a conscious desire to mislead, it is just that some of his "experiences" in Nam may have distorted his view of reality.
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Right. So, you're telling us that he has a distorted view of reality. The man who claims to be a pirate, and who worships meatballs, is telling us about how someone else has less-than-flawless contact with reality.
No comment.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-08-2011, 09:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
That story never gets old. The Lord has guided righteous soldiers and Marines hands for centuries.
I once made a 350m shot through an open window(on another street!) with my M203 during a near-skirmish in a small village near Rhabis Dhiti. The 40mm HE detonated in the center of the room killing three plainclothed terrorists disguised as college students from the city. One was weeks from getting her doctorate in terrorist medicine! Imagine Osama Bin Dingdongs sister is your kids doctor! The miracle was that I wasnt even aiming! I was just walking along pointing it at different things and it mysteriously fired on it's own. I know Jesus fired that shell.
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Another Godly miracle that secularists won't account for. I recalled when the DoF reported that terrorist doctor was being groomed to infiltrate the US to open an abortion clinic in New Jersey. With one twitch of the finger Jesus changed the score to Freedom 1 Al Quida 0.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
Pastor Pistle once told me that Jesus prefers helping Marines over the other branches because we are so devout. I believe him. Athians will never be able to explain these sort of combat related miracles. Their narrow minds are too closed to believe it.
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GLORY! One branch of the military you will NEVER find atheists in is the US Marines! As they say, on those who have been to war have truly experienced the Love of God for His creation.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-09-2011, 12:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Right. So, you're telling us that he has a distorted view of reality.
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Well understandable when you consider all the "experiences" he hqad while over there.
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The man who claims to be a pirate
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The Pirates are Our Lords Chosen people, so I honour them, it is others that gave me the moniker "God mocking pirate"
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and who worships meatballs
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It is not for you or I to question how Our Lord and Creator chooses to represent himself.
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is telling us about how someone else has less-than-flawless contact with reality.
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The use of mind altering substances in that place and time is well documented
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
04-10-2011, 02:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.
It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!
Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!
Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.
Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.
Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?
I await your reply.
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Many Reasons - Not God
1) Superior training. All American forces had extensive training, especially in close quarters combat. Vietcong had no training. They were untrained militia soldiers.
2) CQC. It is hard to use an assault rifle at close range. The Victor Charlie most likely had an AK47. Recoil plus close range equals low probability of survival.
3) Adrenaline Rush. Nuff said.
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
05-08-2011, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.
It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!
Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!
Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.
Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.
Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?
I await your reply.
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Seriously? You want an atheist to explain why a trained US soldier killed a man with his knife when he was out of ammo?
Hmm, well I guess I'll give it a whack...HE WAS A TRAINED US SOLDIER...
I do give you props on the chuck norris statue though...but it does baffle me that you have a statue of a random man in a church vestibule.
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
05-09-2011, 01:13 AM
Once the body is over taken by adrenaline, then the human body is able to do amazing things. Such as the 5 year old child who saved their parent from drowning.
In this pastors case it was very simple. His eyes had adjusted to the night, and when the explosion had gone off, his eyes where diluted enough to bring in the light in a vast quantity, giving him temporary night vision, allowing him to see the soldier. As you stated yourself he was out of ammo, and he knew it. So he would have grabbed his knife instead. and when you are point blank with someone, it is almost impossible to miss your mark.
And as for the simplest answer being the right one, this statement is false. The simplest solution has fewer chances of messing up, where as more complex plans have greater outcomes.
Long story short. Your man got lucky.
DO IT AGAIN!
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
05-09-2011, 09:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante23
Long story short. Your man got lucky.
DO IT AGAIN!
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Hold it there friend; Pistle is a Christian pastor and a man of God. Why would he want to kill anyone?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
05-09-2011, 10:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Hold it there friend; Pistle is a Christian pastor and a man of God. Why would he want to kill anyone?
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Thank you, Brother Bobby-Joe, you beat me to it. I was about to lower the boom on that Unsaved Trash.
I will rest easy this evening knowing that all True Christians™ are coming to the defense of our Godly Marines®.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
05-09-2011, 10:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Thank you, Brother Bobby-Joe, you beat me to it. I was about to lower the boom on that Unsaved Trash.
I will rest easy this evening knowing that all True Christians™ are coming to the defense of our Godly Marines®.
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The bloodthirstiness of secularists is appalling. That's what happens when you don't value life.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
06-03-2011, 01:57 AM
The fact that Jesus guided a knife to a man's neck is a fallacy in-and-of itself, let us not forget that thou shalt not kill is the sixth commandment, but Jesus was a man who could supposedly invoke the wrath of god against the men killing him, yet he continues to preach his message of peace. I could also claim that god doesnt exist and ask you to prove that, which is impossible. The characters in this story also make it unbelievable, no one is names Pistle (pistle-pistol)
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
06-03-2011, 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by We are_Legion
The characters in this story also make it unbelievable, no one is names Pistle (pistle-pistol)
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Well there were 2834 on the 1800 US census.
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Re: Pastor Pistle's Vietnam Miracle: Explain it Atheists! -
06-03-2011, 06:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
As is well known the soft spoken, gentle Pastor Pistle was on of Ladnover beloved senior pastors for many, many years until he recently retired. Equally famous is Pastor Pistle's story of how Jesus saved his life in Vietnam when Pastor Pistle was a Godly Marine defending America against the savage commie red hordes.
It goes like this; Pastor Pistle's unit was clearing out of village of Vietcong one night. During the battle Pastor Pistle was separated from his unit and he had just single handedly destroyed a unit of elite Vietcong sappers disguised as a "filthy yellow Mommasan and her brats" as he put it. Unfortunately he used up the last of his ammo in this engagement and was making his way back to the rest of his unit when an explosion near him lit up the night briefly illuminating an armed Vietcong soldier standing directly in front of him!
Alone, dazzled by the flash of the explosion and out of ammo Pastor Pistle was in a deadly peril. However instead of blind panic like anyone in that situation should have felt, Pastor Pistle felt a warm loving glow come over him as he felt our loving Savior Jesus' had guide Pastor Pistle's hand to his combat knife, pull it out, plunge the knife straight into the Vietcong's Karl Marx praising throat and twist it!
Pastor Pistle's vision then cleared and he found himself on top of the Vietcong, covered in the man's blood with Pistle's knife in his throat. The Vietcong soldier had been unable to bring his own assault rifle to bear on Pastor Pistle due to the close quarters! Praising Jesus Pastor Pistle got up and made his way back to safety now knowing Christ had called Pistle to be a pastor.
Pastor Pistle knife and blood covered Bible are now proudly displayed in the church vestibule next to our marble Chuck Norris statue.
Now athiests. Care to explain how Pastor Pistle made this on in a million killer knife stab in the dark without the Hand of God helping him?
I await your reply.
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Good thing, too... otherwise, he might've ended up with bamboo splinters shoved through his fingers in a POW camp, or being blown up by a Vietcong hostage with a satchel-charge strapped to his back. It's too bad the VC weren't destroyed in that war... now, they torment and kill Christians in prison, and build museums to slander our veterans.
God bless our troops...
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