Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 12:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
I often have no idea what you are talking about, and this is one of those times.
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Well, I was merely wondering if you utilized spanking in the same way as Mother Glendora, you know, to 'spank the evil' right out of those 'sinners'.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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God Squad
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 12:59 PM
We spank children, not adults. Pervert!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 01:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
We spank children, not adults. Pervert!
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Oh really?
Then what's your excuse for the 'do you spank your wife' thread?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 03:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
That's a really good start Kiki. As you should know, True Christian™ generally have to be silent whilst among their Menfolk.
I'm getting more proud of you by the day.
Do you ever travel to Iowa Kiki? Perhaps one day we could meet up and do Lunch.
I'd simply love to talk to you face to face about Jesus and stuff.
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I don't travel much. Just usually to the town my dad lives and thats it.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 03:13 PM
We could bring a bible study out to you Sister Kiki.....providing you tithe enough. We will even help your son.
L ve, Sister Thumper
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 03:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker
Have you accepted Jesus as your personal Saviour yet, kiki?
Jesus knows you have sinned extensively, confess your sins woman.
It is time to start repenting of your past life, and be reborn, and receive new life in Jesus Christ!
BTW Rachel.. Stop derailing the thread in order to try and keep kiki away from Salvation.
You servant of satan!
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No,sir I have not accepted Jesus as my personal Saviout yet. I'm having problems accepting the bible as the truth....and my sins isn't something that umm....one besides myself should hear.
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 03:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
We could bring a bible study out to you Sister Kiki.....providing you tithe enough. We will even help your son.
L ve, Sister Thumper
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Thank you BTB, that is very thoughtful of you, but maybe that should wait until I've decided to become a christian. I'd hate for you to come all the here just to waist your time.
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 04:23 PM
This should be my final and last post. For all those who have tried to help me,Thank you. I've come to a conclusion that no body on here would probably agree with but its how I feel. So goodbye all and take care.
kiki
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 04:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
This should be my final and last post. For all those who have tried to help me,Thank you. I've come to a conclusion that no body on here would probably agree with but its how I feel. So goodbye all and take care.
kiki
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Oh don't go Kiki, while we may not agree with you we forgive you for being so utterly wrong!
Don't worry Kiki, we can help you see the truth.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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True Christian™ Theologian
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Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 04:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
No,sir I have not accepted Jesus as my personal Saviout yet. I'm having problems accepting the bible as the truth....and my sins isn't something that umm....one besides myself should hear.
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I can hear the Holy spirit whispering to me about them right now... Glory to God!
And the most High tells me that most of your sins are of vile lust and fleshly desires.
You see, there is nothing that God doesn't know, He knows it all. He sees it all.
And you can never have any privacy from him, if that's what you think...
You need not really tell us for us to know, (but God want's you to confess as part of your repentance) for the Holy spirit will tell us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
This should be my final and last post. For all those who have tried to help me,Thank you. I've come to a conclusion that no body on here would probably agree with but its how I feel. So goodbye all and take care.
kiki
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Please, kiki..Stay.
It is your only chance to avoid hell, where the fire is not quenched and your worm will not die.
Jesus constantly warns us about hell!
He even says that self-mutilation is to prefer over hell!
And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off:
It is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched. And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off:
It is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
Mark 9:43-46
Trust me, hell is no place you want to go.
You don't have to understand everything in the Bible, you simply must follow everything in it.
Don't go, this could be your last chance to avoid eternal damnation.
Don't do it, or you will make the biggest mistake of your life!
Since you seek love and purpose in life, seek Jesus, for only He can truly provide such!
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 04-27-2007 at 04:35 PM.
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Honorary White Woman.
True Christian™
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Posts: 522
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 07:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
This should be my final and last post. For all those who have tried to help me,Thank you. I've come to a conclusion that no body on here would probably agree with but its how I feel. So goodbye all and take care.
kiki
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Oh, this had made me so sad! I had got my hopes up and thought you was gonna come to the LORD! Don't let that debbil drag you down! Yo life be full of darkness up in there, but JESUS can come in like a giant flashlight and chase all that darkness and sin away!
Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. - John 8:12
If you is havin' some personal drama in yo life right now that be leadin' you away from HIM, remember:
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus wanna give you his yoke. Come back to Him, girlfriend!
"He went on CNN and he laughed at us, and he said, 'They'll never get me because Allah will protect me. Allah will protect me.' Well, you know what? I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." - Lt. General William G. Boykin
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Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
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Posts: 158
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 08:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Oh really?
Then what's your excuse for the 'do you spank your wife' thread?
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Being baptist women, they probably enjoy it. As a matter of fact, I believe, Rach, old toff, that other women sometimes do too. From what I've read and heard, like.
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Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
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Posts: 158
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sista Lateefah
Oh, this had made me so sad! I had got my hopes up and thought you was gonna come to the LORD! Don't let that debbil drag you down! Yo life be full of darkness up in there, but JESUS can come in like a giant flashlight and chase all that darkness and sin away!
Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life. - John 8:12
If you is havin' some personal drama in yo life right now that be leadin' you away from HIM, remember:
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus wanna give you his yoke. Come back to Him, girlfriend!
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It would appear that Kiki has had some sort of epiphany. I doubt that this was brought about by the debil so much as a sudden flash of lucidity resulting from natural causes. I feel that her decision to scarper is not unwise and suggests that she may be of higher intelligence than has appeared to be the case.
Last edited by Hairy Homer; 04-27-2007 at 08:41 PM.
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On Extended Furlough
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Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 10:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by eliot mayfield
Let the light of the Lord fill your soul. I will pray for you and you will be in my thoughts.
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Brother Eliot, I share your warm thoughts for Kiki. She was just beginning to see the light, and suddenly is turning her back on God!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 10:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw
This should be my final and last post. For all those who have tried to help me,Thank you. I've come to a conclusion that no body on here would probably agree with but its how I feel. So goodbye all and take care.
kiki
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No-one says goodbye to The Lord, Kiki.
They all said goodbye to Jesus but just at look what happened. He only went away temporarily.
Just like YOU Kiki.
You'll be back.
They always come back.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-27-2007, 11:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
You'll be back.
They always come back.
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AMEN Sister!
They ALWAYS do come back one way or another.
Well be waiting for you Sister Kiki.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-28-2007, 01:03 AM
Well she is a lost lamb, and I know we'll all pray for her. If she would just accept the sovereignty of Christ and give up her whoredoms, all of her problems would be solved. I feel sorry for her son. She doesn't have a Godly Christian Man in her life to issue the beatings they both so richly deserve, according to God's plan.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Has read every one of the Harry Potter books.
Forum Member
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Posts: 184
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South of the buckle of the Bible belt
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-28-2007, 02:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Well she is a lost lamb, and I know we'll all pray for her. If she would just accept the sovereignty of Christ and give up her whoredoms, all of her problems would be solved. I feel sorry for her son. She doesn't have a Godly Christian Man in her life to issue the beatings they both so richly deserve, according to God's plan.
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It's really creepy that you think you can beat the love of Jesus into someone.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-28-2007, 02:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix Risen
It's really creepy that you think you can beat the love of Jesus into someone.
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Why Phoenix? It was the tough love of our parents that made us the Christians we are today.
But at lest we can rejoice that you are still here to help Phoenix!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Has read every one of the Harry Potter books.
Forum Member
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Posts: 184
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South of the buckle of the Bible belt
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Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ -
04-28-2007, 02:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Why Phoenix? It was the tough love of our parents that made us the Christians we are today.
But at lest we can rejoice that you are still here to help Phoenix!
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Dear boy, I will not allow anyone to beat me.
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