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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Hairy Homer's Avatar
Hairy Homer Hairy Homer is offline
Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
 
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Hairy Homer is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Hairy Homer is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-02-2007, 09:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
My Christ hating, atheist, Joo marrying sister cat is a biter, at lest with me. Anytime I get to bite or scratch me. My sister says she doesn't understand it since it never done it around anyone else. I think her husband put the cat up to it. Last time I pulled out my pocket Bible to ward the vicious beast off, it ran in the corner had hissed at me. My sister won’t let me near it now.
Perhaps it's her familiar, BJ? If you're trying to say what I think you are trying to say. This is not the most literate bit of composition you have come up with. Some animals do have very good instincts about humans.
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(#102)
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Hairy Homer Hairy Homer is offline
Unsaved Trash, filthy sodomite
 
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Hairy Homer is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Hairy Homer is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-02-2007, 09:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carlton Green View Post
I just stumbled onto this thread and I for one am shocked.

Just when I thought we were making progress with her, she let satan allow her to spit in GOD's face!

It's too bad that I couldn't come in time to also help penetrate my love from JESUS, and GODLY wisdom into her! After all, magic always happens during a Bible session with me, Rev. Green with the HOLY BIBLE 1611 KJV in the Study.

Shame. Yet another will have to be chucked in the furnace that heats the comforts for the rest of us sitting by the RIGHT hand of GOD!


GLORY!
From what I have heard of your bible sessions not coming in time is not your usual difficulty.
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(#103)
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-02-2007, 09:58 PM

After all my hard work in trying to help her, it looks like Kiki is turning her back on Freehold and True Christianity™.
Pastor Ezekiel tells me she has declined my generous offer to come and slave work for me.
Anyway Kiki, if you happen to read this, please don't lose any sleep over this matter. I've found a more suitable candidate who can also help with the Garden.
I particularly have a large Bush that needs trimming.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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(#104)
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-02-2007, 10:29 PM

Oh, I nearly forgot.

Pastor, I had allocated a $5,000 a month additional allowance to help with her Child's schooling and so she could buy some good True Christian™ clothes that we mentioned earlier.
I've now arranged for this money to be allocated to the Church's new High Definition Cinema fund.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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(#105)
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Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
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One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
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Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
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Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-12-2007, 08:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kikirnw View Post
This should be my final and last post. For all those who have tried to help me,Thank you. I've come to a conclusion that no body on here would probably agree with but its how I feel. So goodbye all and take care.

kiki
It appears that I missed a lot in my absence. Was she a Belgian Wicced lesbimen?


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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(#106)
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-13-2007, 01:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
It appears that I missed a lot in my absence. Was she a Belgian Wicced lesbimen?
She was a deranged nymphomaniac who unsuccessfully attempted to seduce Pastor Ezekiel, and then successfully seduced Van Hellthing. And as if that wasn't bad enough, her Biblical knowledge was only fair-to-middling at best!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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(#107)
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Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Helping Kiki become a True Christian™ - 05-13-2007, 02:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
She was a deranged nymphomaniac who unsuccessfully attempted to seduce Pastor Ezekiel, and then successfully seduced Van Hellthing. And as if that wasn't bad enough, her Biblical knowledge was only fair-to-middling at best!
Well, that's not hard! Even a retarded nigra chimp could seduce Van Hellthighs!
The lack of Biblical knowledge doesn't surprise me. If she knew the Word from Genesis to Revelation, she'd still be here giving praise to the Lord instead of fornicating with witches.


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
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