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Reload this Page Hello ! :)
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Jesus Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 12:38 AM
Hi, I'm Pamela. I go to Ebenezer Baptist Church and my favorite bible verse is Isaiah 26:3. I was raised by a wonderful Christian family so I think Jesus has always guided me throughout life . I hope I can make many friends here and praise the Lord with you all.
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 12:43 AM
Welcome, Pamela! It's so nice to see someone following the instructions for making an introduction! How many children do you have? If you have your husband's permission, you should join the womenfolk in Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack.

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 12:45 AM
Hi Pamela and welcome to our friendly forums! Tell us, how do you protect yourself from the Gays out there infecting our civilization? Do you carry a stoning bucket or a really strong leather tote bag to carry the stones for the sinners in your area?

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 12:46 AM
Tote bag !
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 12:52 AM
I have two ! Their names are Gerard and Abigail. I'll ask my husband about Auntie Flo's in a little bit.
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 01:23 AM
Hello Mary, I'm sorry for these questions, but, how do I get from Unsaved Trash to another status? And, how do I private message someone?
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 01:32 AM
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Originally Posted by christianmom786 View Post
Hello Mary, I'm sorry for these questions, but, how do I get from Unsaved Trash to another status? And, how do I private message someone?
All newcomers are subject to the investigation of the Department of Faith, as you agreed when you registered. Please be patient. In the meantime, you are welcome to participate in any thread. Please be courteous, mind the rules, show due respect to your betters, and remember use the Holy Bible to show where the LORD gave you your opinions.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 03:04 AM
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Originally Posted by christianmom786 View Post
Hi, I'm Pamela. I go to Ebenezer Baptist Church and my favorite bible verse is Isaiah 26:3. I was raised by a wonderful Christian family so I think Jesus has always guided me throughout life . I hope I can make many friends here and praise the Lord with you all.
Hello and to our forum, honey!

Judging by the appearance of your pastor (link and picture on the left), you must have been unfortunate to be born as a member of one of the lesser races. Do not despair; Salvation is open for everyone, even for Ethiopians - despite the fact that you cannot change your skin:

Jeremiah 13:23 Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.

You may want to review our ex-Negro threads, though.

God created fossils to test our faith.

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My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
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True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 05:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Hello and to our forum, honey!

Judging by the appearance of your pastor (link and picture on the left), you must have been unfortunate to be born as a member of one of the lesser races. Do not despair; Salvation is open for everyone, even for Ethiopians - despite the fact that you cannot change your skin:

Jeremiah 13:23 Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.

You may want to review our ex-Negro threads, though.
I'm actually half white and half black, but thank you Basilissa for the warm welcoming !!
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Love Jesus Re: Hello ! :) - 12-30-2017, 07:38 AM
Dear aspiring potential Christian woman,

Your heart seems to be in the right place, although your begetting activities leave some more enthusiasm to be desired. Your username is also utterly intriguing. I surmise it cannot be a reference to your monthly household allowance, as no True Man™ would leave his woman with such a large sum (our True Christian™ women are exceptions as many of them are able to count to one thousand! Praise Jesus!). Thus, it must be a reference to Psalms 78:6
That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children:

How do you fulfill the wonderful message of this verse in your daily life? Obviously, you're missing the next verse

Psalms 78:7
That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:

I'm looking forward you fruitful discussion regarding this verse and many other Biblical passages with you.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-02-2018, 12:28 PM
Hello Pamela. I've been reading I Samuel today and Ebenezer is a place with difficult history. The Philistines were showing off near there (chapter 4) when they stole The Ark. After a while it did return but required a plague of piles and mice (chapters 5 & 6) first. Perhaps this is what your Pastor had in mind when naming the Church? I trust that neither affliction troubles you and look forward to fellowshipping with you.

Welcome to the forum.
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-11-2018, 01:15 AM
Hello everyone- I'd like to ask for help about my horrible sinner daughter. I saw her a few days ago posting positive comments about MCR and defending them! She still prays and reads her bible everyday, but what should I do about THIS situation?
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-11-2018, 01:47 AM
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Originally Posted by christianmom786 View Post
Hello everyone- I'd like to ask for help about my horrible sinner daughter. I saw her a few days ago posting positive comments about MCR and defending them! She still prays and reads her bible everyday, but what should I do about THIS situation?
Find her a husband, ASAP. Give him a strong leather belt for a wedding gift.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-15-2018, 11:33 AM
Hi Pamela,

You are the least offensive new member currently being investigated by our Department of Faith!


Now then, I have no idea what "MCR" is, but it sounds like your daughter has too much idle time. Doesn't she have any chores she could be doing?

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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-27-2018, 10:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Find her a husband, ASAP. Give him a strong leather belt for a wedding gift.
Great idea !
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-27-2018, 10:27 PM
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Hi Pamela,

You are the least offensive new member currently being investigated by our Department of Faith!


Now then, I have no idea what "MCR" is, but it sounds like your daughter has too much idle time. Doesn't she have any chores she could be doing?
MCR is a horrible Satanic Emo Homosexual band!
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-28-2018, 04:14 AM
So you're saying your daughter likes things that are boring?

Hey, look at the bright side: At least you know she won't annoy her future husband with incessant demands that he take her out and entertain her.

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Gutter Cleaning Gutter Cleaning is offline
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Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-29-2018, 01:13 AM
Hello I have been part of the forum just never introduced myself.

God is all knowing and full of grace.
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Basilissa Basilissa is offline
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Question Re: Hello ! :) - 01-29-2018, 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gutter Cleaning View Post
Hello I have been part of the forum just never introduced myself.


Aaaaaaand?.....

Will you keep us in suspense, or are you planning to introduce yourself eventually?

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
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Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello ! :) - 01-29-2018, 08:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gutter Cleaning View Post
Hello I have been part of the forum just never introduced myself.
Do you live anywhere near Freehold? I could really use my gutters cleaned. How much do you charge, and can I trust you not to peer in my windows?

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