[Sister of Sacred Suffering]

Are there foods to keep away from when trying to live a true Christian lifestyle? I already stay away from hot dogs and fish.

[Talitha]

well, Sister, there are many foods that we consider an abomination to The Lord.
The Devil is always there trying to trick you.

I would think that having come away from the Cannibalistic Cattlicker cult that a hearty American meal is what you need.



First on my list has to be Molasses. How anyone can stomach such a thing is beyond belief.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Watermellon. Apparently nigras overdose on it and it can be fatal.

[Kazoo]

And of course, we can't forget Jello... green Jello.

[Talitha]

I've been trying to keep this one away from Petal. I'm sure she'd be upset, but these are freely available from non-True Christian™ food stores:



.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Avoid satanic weiners, ladies!




Godly bananas are the preferred snack for all Christian ladies.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Originally Posted by Sister of Sacred Suffering

Are there foods to keep away from when trying to live a true Christian lifestyle? I already stay away from hot dogs and fish.

That's probably a good idea too.



Anyone got kitty blood tomato sauce?

[Mrs. Rogers]

I wouldn't go so far as to say cabbage soup is satanic, but it certainly gives one tremendous insight into the sulphurous stench of Hell when working it's way through one's system ... as does steamed broccoli. So rather than being devil-sent, perhaps these foods are God's way of frightening the Hell - and therefore sin - out of us?

[Homertard]

How can fish be evil? Jesus himself fed 5000 people with Fish.

[Talitha]

Originally Posted by Omerta

How can fish be evil? Jesus himself fed 5000 people with Fish.

You'll have to take that up with Sister Sacred. I think It's a left-over from her Demonic Cattlicking ways. I believe that a fishy smell is quite common amongst Priests.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

I stick firmly to my rigidly held belief that any fruit or vegetable that resembles the male organ is inappropriate for True Christian Women to handle or consume because it invokes carnal lust. This is apparently, no fallacy.
In that vein, I instruct my female parishioners to steer clear of pickles, cashew nuts, various peppers and champignons.

[Anna Marie Raven]

Miracle-Whip. Ah don't even need to explain this to anyone who's eva eaten it, but for those who don't, it must be made from the devil's snot! The most foul viscuous liquid to ever be made, it has the smell of garbage, and all the animal oil/fat has been replaced with satanic chemicals (to appeal to the "eoc-friendly" and Wiccans.

[Eschatology]

Originally Posted by Brother Guy

I stick firmly to my rigidly held belief that any fruit or vegetable that resembles the male organ is inappropriate for True Christian Women to handle or consume because it invokes carnal lust. This is apparently, no fallacy.
In that vein, I instruct my female parishioners to steer clear of pickles, cashew nuts, various peppers and champignons.

father I have sinned.. I love mellons.... I cant help it..
sometimes i by popsicles to my female friends, sometimes even my male friends to.. love the sound it makes, and seing their tounge and lips roling back and fourth over the sweet candy.

and I alwayes ceep bannanas at my home, just in case a good friend pops by

is there something wrong with me

[Viking]

stay away from eating people and endangered species, this you will keep out of trouble.