[angelique_of_the_damned44]

Hey, Frankie. Your avatar looks familiar, have I seen you on TV before.

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

When I misbehave or don't learn my Bible lessons well enough, it's the duty of my husband, Mr. Whitford, to discipline me, and I accept that. The Lord has ordered me to submit to my husband in all things, and that's the way it should be (Adam wasn't formed from Eve's rib, after all).
So when he strikes me, it's for my own good. But it does hurt, so naturally I want to cry. He hasn't said anything about it yet, but I want to do the right thing to make his life easier and not distract him from Jesus. Should I try not to cry at all, or wait until he's done and cry in another room so as not to disturb him? Or should I cry right there to show that I'm learning my lesson?
If I could get some feedback before I ask him, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you, and God bless!

How about this? You do what YOU want, and not what your husband wants.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Ixi

How about this? You do what YOU want, and not what your husband wants.

I want to submit to my husband the way God tells me to. I don't recall anywhere in my post where I asked for man-hating, God-loathing feminazis to tell me if I should flush the Bible down the toilet.

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

tell me if I should flush the Bible down the toilet.

That's acually not a bad idea...

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Ixi

That's acually not a bad idea...

When God's law is once again the law of the land, I will be the first in line to strike a match and send you to your rightful punishment. Until then, be thankful that you live in a bleeding heart lieberal society that allows you to make such blasphemous threats!

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

When God's law is once again the law of the land, I will be the first in line to strike a match and send you to your rightful punishment. Until then, be thankful that you live in a bleeding heart lieberal society that allows you to make such blasphemous threats!

Hey, you all are at your computers telling me that pagans are homers that will burn in hell, so I have just as much right to tell you to flush a BOOK down the toilet.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Ixi

Hey, you all are at your computers telling me that pagans are homers that will burn in hell, so I have just as much right to tell you to flush a BOOK down the toilet.

Icky; As has been explained to you ad nauseum, you have exactly one "right" here. You have the right to accept Jesus as your personal Saviour.

Other than that, you have no rights. This is God's favorite forum, Icky. We cannot risk offending our Lord by granting special rights to every harlot, witch or homer who staggers in here.

Your father who art in prison has more rights there than you do here. Think about that.

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Icky; As has been explained to you ad nauseum, you have exactly one "right" here. You have the right to accept Jesus as your personal Saviour.

Other than that, you have no rights. This is God's favorite forum, Icky. We cannot risk offending our Lord by granting special rights to every harlot, witch or homer who staggers in here.

Your father who art in prison has more rights there than you do here. Think about that.

Well anyway, whats so bad about flushing a book down the toilet?

[eightofninekev]

Originally Posted by Ixi

Well anyway, whats so bad about flushing a book down the toilet?

it might block your pipes

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by Ixi

Well anyway, whats so bad about flushing a book down the toilet?

Because that's the wrong way to do it. What you do is rip out the pages and use them as toilet paper first. Anything else would be wasteful.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Ixi

Well anyway, whats so bad about flushing a book down the toilet?

You may feel free to flush all the Harry Potter books down the toilet that you can lay your hands on. Do the same with all of the pornographic chink manga you stimulate yourself with too.

The Holy Bible is the Literal Word of God, not some feminazi tract on the elimination of Mankind. No one will ever raise the least objection to you flushing, burning, or wiping your large bum with any of those others, but you should know this: Mistreating the Holy KJV1611 Bible in any way is blasphemy, pure and simple.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Because that's the wrong way to do it. What you do is rip out the pages and use them as toilet paper first. Anything else would be wasteful.

Or use it even more productively. As kindling.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

I cried for a good hour after reading these replies. My husband, Mr. Whitford, tried everything he could to comfort me but in the end it took a good couple of smacks to the face to snap me out of it (thank you, sir) but I'm still horrified that people could treat THE WORD OF GOD like this! I know that none of you care the least about your own immortal souls, but don't you care about the souls of the people who could have been saved by the Bibles you've desecrated?
Even as I ask that, I know what the answer is. You want as many sinners burning beside you as possible. But let me tell you this - you will be so busy screaming and gnashing your teeth for eternity that you won't have time to get bored and lonely. So please don't try to hard to drag others down with you. Thank you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Joo

Or use it even more productively. As kindling.

And each page of God's Holy Word that you set fire to will only add to the searing heat that liquifies your flesh in the lake of fire.

Enjoy hell, Christ-killer.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

And each page of God's Holy Word that you set fire to will only add to the searing heat that liquifies your flesh in the lake of fire.

Enjoy hell, Christ-killer.

Oh I haven't burned any Bibles, ever actually. I was just throwing out the idea.

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Because that's the wrong way to do it. What you do is rip out the pages and use them as toilet paper first. Anything else would be wasteful.

Thats acually not a bad idea, I'll use all the Jesus pages to wipe my crap.

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

I cried for a good hour after reading these replies. My husband, Mr. Whitford, tried everything he could to comfort me but in the end it took a good couple of smacks to the face to snap me out of it (thank you, sir) but I'm still horrified that people could treat THE WORD OF GOD like this! I know that none of you care the least about your own immortal souls, but don't you care about the souls of the people who could have been saved by the Bibles you've desecrated?
Even as I ask that, I know what the answer is. You want as many sinners burning beside you as possible. But let me tell you this - you will be so busy screaming and gnashing your teeth for eternity that you won't have time to get bored and lonely. So please don't try to hard to drag others down with you. Thank you.

You got to be kidding, how pathetic are you people?

[Ixi]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

You may feel free to flush all the Harry Potter books down the toilet that you can lay your hands on. Do the same with all of the pornographic chink manga you stimulate yourself with too.

The Holy Bible is the Literal Word of God, not some feminazi tract on the elimination of Mankind. No one will ever raise the least objection to you flushing, burning, or wiping your large bum with any of those others, but you should know this: Mistreating the Holy KJV1611 Bible in any way is blasphemy, pure and simple.

And isn't it blasphemy to mistreat pagans and Wiccans the way you do? Why should we treat a BOOK with respect when you don't even treat us with respect? We don't respect you or your BOOK because of the way you treat us.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

This is God's favorite forum, Icky. We cannot risk offending our Lord by granting special rights to every harlot, witch or homer who staggers in here.

You don't seem to be too harsh when it comes to using infractions and suspensions though. If you were, I'd be down and out in seconds

Originally Posted by eightofninekev

it might block your pipes

Burn it, and flush the ashes. It's called Logistics!

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Because that's the wrong way to do it. What you do is rip out the pages and use them as toilet paper first. Anything else would be wasteful.

Holy Carp.

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Do the same with all of the pornographic chink manga you stimulate yourself with too.

Psh. You been living under a rock? It's all digital now. In the space where one used to be able to keep a porn magazine, one can store enough hard drives to download thousands of porn movies. Optimization, my friend. It's a handy thing.

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

No one will ever raise the least objection to you flushing, burning, or wiping your large bum with any of those others, but you should know this: Mistreating the Holy KJV1611 Bible in any way is blasphemy, pure and simple.

Ask hundreds thousands millions of horny sexless teenagers who use google to look up porn, and they'd be tellin' ye a different story. I've had to listen to the rants of noobs who had content restrictions put on Google Images so they can't look up their porn so many times, I'm now pretty much an expert on the damn subject.

Originally Posted by Ixi

You got to be kidding, how pathetic are you people?

Considering they worship a man that's been dead and rotting in the earth for the past 2000 years, and bow before a few stacks of paper, ya, that's gotta give you some idea.

[H. Montague Worthington]

I would recommend to our pastors that this thread be removed and some of these deliberately profane posters banned from the board. They've already made Sister Mary Maria break out into tears, earning some further painful discipline from her husband, Mr. Whitford. It's not her fault, but well within Mr. Whitford's right as Lord of the household. It's really a shame, and I hope the heathens on this board are happy that they directly contributed to the beat, er, stern disciplinary measures against a fine, Godly, innocent, churchgoing True Christian™. At least this time it didn't happen in the church parking lot in front of half the congregation.

What I worry about is children seeing the outrageously sinful blasphemy on this site, especially on this thread, which should be a friendly forum for the healthy moral education of our young people. These poor young people shouldn't be subjected to the foul language, incitement to sin, wonton disregard for God's word, and Satan's siren call on an otherwise Godly church forum. Please, won't someone think of the children???!??! (I mean BESIDES you, Father Lester).